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Break Away

Kelsey

~-*-~-*-~-*-~
1,912
Posts
19
Years
    • Seen Mar 30, 2005
    I'll spread my wings and I'll learn how to fly,
    I'll do what it takes 'till I touch the sky.
    I'll believe in myself with my heart and my soul,
    And I'll break away...break away...break away.

    I'll soar to the moon and I'll kiss the stars,
    I'll circle the Earth, which has now become ours.
    I'll dive into the depths of your silvery eyes,
    And we'll break away...break away...break away.

    Out of the darkness and into the sun,
    I won't forget the ones that I love.
    Take a risk, take a chance, make a change,
    And break away...break away...break away.    ​

    Well, this is my newest creation. This poem is based on the song "Break Away" which some of you may be familiar with. ^^ Well, I hope this poem inflicts positive energy in the reader, enjoy! =D

    ~Kelsey
     
    Last edited:

    MegaDitto

    Windsor ™
    8,495
    Posts
    19
    Years
    • Seen Jun 27, 2013
    Kelsey said:
    I'll spread my wings and I'll learn how to fly,
    I'll do what it takes 'till I touch the sky.
    I'll believe in myself with my heart and my soul,
    And I'll break away...break away...break away.

    I'll soar to the moon and I'll kiss the stars,
    I'll circle the Earth which has now become ours.
    I'll dive into the depths of your silvery eyes,
    And we'll break away...break away...break away.

    Out of the darkness and into the sun,
    I won't forget the ones that I love.
    Take a risk, take a chance, make a change,
    And break away...break away...break away.    ​

    Well, this is my newest creation. This poem is based on the song "Break Away" which some of you may be familiar with. ^^ Well, I hope this poem inflicts positive energy in the reader, enjoy! =D

    ~Kelsey
    Click to expand...
    I loved it 10/10.
     

    Kelsey

    ~-*-~-*-~-*-~
    1,912
    Posts
    19
    Years
    • Seen Mar 30, 2005
    Awwwws, thank you MegaDitto. ^__^ I'm glad you loved it. Oh! I got a 10/10 sweet! XD

    ~Kelsey
     

    Suz

    Ta-daaa~!
    1,113
    Posts
    19
    Years
    • OO teh, that's really good!
    *wishes she could write poems (let alone spell them)* X3
    I give it a 9.5/10, becaouse nothing is perfect, this is practly as close to perfect as anyone can get >>
     

    Kelsey

    ~-*-~-*-~-*-~
    1,912
    Posts
    19
    Years
    • Seen Mar 30, 2005
    Awwwwwws, thanks Suz. ^^ I'm really glad you liked it. And you're right, nothing is perfect, for there is always room for improvement. ^_~

    ~Kelsey
     

    Kyosuke

    .·Simple Complexity
    2,485
    Posts
    20
    Years
    • That was a nice positive type poem, it gives off the feeling of confidence in everything you do, and not always doing things of the norm and just "break away" from the rest ^^.

    I don't rate things out of 5/10/100 etc., because poems vary greatly to diffrent readers, and the type of poetry that they are into reading. So all I'll say is great job, but when you put, "I'll circle the Earth which has now become ours" it kind of threw me off and affected that part of the poem, maybe just adding a comma after Earth? ^^'
     

    Kelsey

    ~-*-~-*-~-*-~
    1,912
    Posts
    19
    Years
    • Seen Mar 30, 2005
    That's what I keep telling everyone. When you read a poem, there is no right or wrong answer as to how you percieve it. It's just what you feel it means. As long as the reader can get their own idea of the poem's meaning, then I'd consider my poem to be a success.

    Now that I re-read it, I think adding a comma after 'Earth' might increase the flow a bit better. Thankies Lance. ^___________^ *huggles*

    ~Kelsey
     

    Pokemon Master #1

    BILLIE fanboy.
    1,378
    Posts
    20
    Years
    • Very good poem.

    I simply fell in love with your poem!It really reached out to me and gave me a message.Don't worry it's a good message ;) !10/10.
     

    Kelsey

    ~-*-~-*-~-*-~
    1,912
    Posts
    19
    Years
    • Seen Mar 30, 2005
    Awwwwwwwwwwwws, thanks Pokemon Master #1! ^^ I'm glad that everyone's been enjoying this poem so far. ^^

    ~Kelsey
     

    Kelsey

    ~-*-~-*-~-*-~
    1,912
    Posts
    19
    Years
    • Seen Mar 30, 2005
    KLS said:
    i like the idea of the poem, but the "break away" part tends to get repititive, however i am a fan of your work, great job.
    Click to expand...

    Well, it is supposed to be repetitive. ^^; I am glad you enjoyed it KLS. ^_________^

    And thanks jason, I'm glad you enjoyed it too. ^o^

    ~Kelsey
     

    Dignity

    [~As I lay dying~]
    2,830
    Posts
    19
    Years
    • Seen Sep 28, 2009
    hmm i have to say the 'earth' part is a bit weird but other then that its great kelsey ^__^ 8.5/10... the song that its based on reflects a bad time in my life so... i guess its kind of depressing for me *shrugs* ~origin
     

    Kelsey

    ~-*-~-*-~-*-~
    1,912
    Posts
    19
    Years
    • Seen Mar 30, 2005
    ^__________^ Awwws, I'm sowwy this poem brings back not-so-pleasant memories for you, Julia. But, as in any poem, everyone who reads it shall get a different vibe from it. Good or bad. Thank you for taking the time to read it. ^^

    ~Kelsey
     

    AngelWolfie

    Tiger Power!
    1,859
    Posts
    19
    Years
    • Hmm...You took the first and last aragrahs from the song 'Breakaway' by Kelly Clarkson...The middle is quite nice, though ^^
     

    Dignity

    [~As I lay dying~]
    2,830
    Posts
    19
    Years
    • Seen Sep 28, 2009
    ^^`;; Kels, your poems are great! I don't mind taking time out to read them!! It's a pleasure. ~origin
     

    Kelsey

    ~-*-~-*-~-*-~
    1,912
    Posts
    19
    Years
    • Seen Mar 30, 2005
    Radical_Edward said:
    Hmm...You took the first and last aragrahs from the song 'Breakaway' by Kelly Clarkson...The middle is quite nice, though ^^
    Click to expand...

    Yuppers, I said in my above post with the poem in it that the song "Break Away" is what I based this peom off of. ^o^

    Thankies Julia! ^____^ I'm glad you enjoyed it, though this was one of the poems I created when writer's block was setting in. XD

    ~Kelsey
     

    Miyu-chan

    .::f l o w e r g i r l::.
    5,956
    Posts
    20
    Years
    • Age 35
    • Seen Apr 23, 2014
    I loved it! I love the many things you described to "breakaway". It really emphises your point. =3 I also loved how you used the words breakaway in every paragraph. xD

    More! <3
     

    MeLoVeGhOsTs

    GaSConeer
    168
    Posts
    20
    Years
    • I loved it. It made me feel like an eagle. To fly away. Roam in the wide sky. ****, I'm going to write another poem =P

    Good going, I don't rate poems on a scale aswell, but it's good anyway :)
     
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