Very interesting story you have here. I haven't read too many that mix elements like what's probably gonna happen to the Earth in some hundreds of years with Pokemon, so kudos to you. I don't have many comments about it - it's a good first chapter overall - but there were some little mental notes I made as I read. The first would be that a character waking up is one of the most generic opening sentences in stories, and since it's an opening sentence, it should really "pop", you know? You could've started with a little bit of reflection on what happened to the Earth. And that eye treatment he gets, is it really better than eyeglasses?
Okay, so I gathered that Jace's dad's gone, but he resembles him a lot, and he still gets his familial love from his mother. Also I had a similar ingenious idea about sleeping in my school uniform but my mom shut me down :P The smog thing, I totally can buy that in the real world, but I don't think the Pokemon world has as much machinery as we do 'cause they got, you know, Pokemon to handle a lot of heavy duty. Then I remember that the weirdest shit can happen in Pokemon anyway lol. (But Jace, why not recycle the plastic plate bro?) Me and that lazy Fletchling would totally be twins though. But I feel like there's more to those artificial Pokemon than Orchid's letting on.
Okay, so I gathered that Jace's dad's gone, but he resembles him a lot, and he still gets his familial love from his mother. Also I had a similar ingenious idea about sleeping in my school uniform but my mom shut me down :P The smog thing, I totally can buy that in the real world, but I don't think the Pokemon world has as much machinery as we do 'cause they got, you know, Pokemon to handle a lot of heavy duty. Then I remember that the weirdest shit can happen in Pokemon anyway lol. (But Jace, why not recycle the plastic plate bro?) Me and that lazy Fletchling would totally be twins though. But I feel like there's more to those artificial Pokemon than Orchid's letting on.