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[Pokémon] Pokémon Neon Adventures

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KamikazeSSoH

Gym leader of São Paulo,brazi
108
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10
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  • So some time back....in 2013 i made it like a Pilot thing... and everybody was like CONTINUE ! so i'm going to continue this...if this is shit then well.. i'm sorry for wasting you're time... I Hope you Enjoy!

    Pokémon Neon Adventures - Chapter I : Star of Something New
    Spoiler:


    Pokémon Neon Adventures - Chapter II - Jeff Stone.

    Spoiler:
     

    Nolafus

    Aspiring something
    5,724
    Posts
    11
    Years
  • I'm afraid I'm going to be locking this story. The rules clearly state that a script fic must be more than just dialogue, and although this isn't completely dialogue, a good majority of it is. There are also a large number of typos, so I would recommend giving it a proofread and fixing what you can find.

    A simple way to get away from the script format is to simply switch over to a book's way of dialogue. It's an easy way to bypass the rule, and it makes the story look more professional as well. I would comment on showing vs telling, as you're doing nothing but telling (which isn't the best idea, generally) but I think the dialogue is the more prominent issue. If you would like to improve your writing significantly, I would recommend doing some research into showing.

    If you have any questions or concerns, feel free to contact me. I'll be happy to explain my decisions and settle any qualms. I wish you luck in your future writing endeavors, but for now...

    LOCKED
     
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