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The Rainbow Connection [LGBTS Club]

10,769
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14
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Well, I think Alex lives in one of those places where people are more hyper-masculine than you see in a typical America/Canada town so that's why I said what I said. 'Cause, you know, the world is moving toward acceptance of gay people, and there are people and places who are doing it more slowly than others, but then there are ones that are actively going backwards in reaction to progress. It's part of the reason I'd never travel to a lot of the world, as much as I'd love to visit lots of places and see lots of things.
 

Taemin

[i][b]MOVE[/i][/b]
11,204
Posts
18
Years
  • Age 36
  • USA
  • Seen Dec 10, 2023
Alex, are you sure your family and friends are completely against the LGBT community? Or have they just never said one way or the other? I mean, either way it's freaky wondering how people will react, but if you come out just remember that even if people react poorly at first, they'll have time to come around. It's basically "The people who mind don't matter, and the people who matter don't mind" idea. Even if they are against homosexuality, a lot of time when it comes to someone they care about, people's opinions will shift.
 

Victini

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Speaking of spilling feels, I think I want to spill something real quick... ;w;

Originally when I posted in this thread I had the mind set that I was a Gray-A. Turns out I had that all wrong. I was mistaking the signs of a Gray-A for what's actually proven itself to be demisexuality to me. I discovered it fully because of an ex-partner of mine recently.

I realized that my lack of desire in general and such applies to every being I know... untiiiil I actually come to love and or care about them on a deeper level. I didn't pick up those signs until my ex-partner ended up showing it to me inadvertently. .//////.

Go figure. It's similar to being a Gray-A, but your loving feelings end up applying just to that person who gives you feels. >//^//>
 

Star-Lord

withdrawl .
715
Posts
15
Years
Demisexuality is one of those things I don't completely understand. That's just me though, I can see it actually happening though because I know of people who are so reserved in themselves and would never dare open up to someone sexually unless they had some sort of connection like that. That's cool though.

As for people who call themselves "demiromantic" I feel like they have no idea how interpersonal relationships work.
 

Victini

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Demisexuality is one of those things I don't completely understand. That's just me though, I can see it actually happening though because I know of people who are so reserved in themselves and would never dare open up to someone sexually unless they had some sort of connection like that. That's cool though.

As for people who call themselves "demiromantic" I feel like they have no idea how interpersonal relationships work.


I-I guess the best way I can explain it is that I can't feel desires for people based on lovely appearances or anything instinctive. Those kinds of things don't get to me at all. ;w; I have to already be 'attracted' to someone on a deeper level. The way I usually describe it is if I'm not already in love or caring deeply for someone, I'm asexual. XDD;

That usually helps to get the meaning out there better. Hope it helped a bit. ^^; Demisexuality is a project to explain, dfkjdslj.
 

Shining Raichu

Expect me like you expect Jesus.
8,959
Posts
13
Years
I'm sorry I've been so horridly absent guys, my life has been keeping me away big time. I haven't forgotten about you though, I've been watching this thread like a hawk but I just haven't had the time in any one sitting to sit down and formulate an actual post :P.

Phantom, you should continue to spill your feels, because I'm going to do the same about a guy I went on a date with in a minute :P

Firstly though, Victini, I'm so happy you've sorted out what you can identify as! Though I thought demisexuality was in the Grey-A group? Also I'm happy you've decided to come back and share with us again, it's been a while since we've seen you around!

OK so now let me all tell you about the date I went on last night!

I was on Grindr and came across this guy named Jesse. Grindr is usually full of horny freaks who want nothing more to get into your pants so I was thinking of giving up on the whole thing altogether when I came across this guy and his picture was cute so I decided to talk to him.

We hit it off quite well, talked about music and TV and stuff, and I said we should do something some time and he said yes. This was the first time I've actually asked a guy out so I was really happy when he didn't reject me :P

Anyway I had to go to work so I said I'd talk to him later, then I didn't see him online on Grindr for a few days. Then on Friday night I saw him again and he talked to me and he said he was feeling emotional because he was thinking about his best friend in the world that died six months ago from an epileptic seizure in her sleep. So I really felt for him and asked if I could do anything to help him feel better and he said he'd like to go out for a slushie. I got excited that he wanted to meet me so I ran around and got changed but then he changed his mind but said we should do something soon.

I gave him my number and he gave me his and he texted me on Saturday morning and we ended up making a plan for last night. It was very awkward at first, as it was always going to be, being a first date - and he got a phone call near the beginning of the date and he told whoever called him that he was "just hanging with a friend" so that was a little discouraging but at the same time took a lot of pressure off the whole outing. So the awkwardness eventually subsided and we talked and laughed and went driving around to various places (as it was a Sunday night and there's not really anything to do on a Sunday night :P).

Eventually we got to this lookout and we were looking up at the stars and talking and laughing and he was showing me some awesome YouTube videos (by the way, if you haven't seen Nigella Talks Dirty, then my GOD you have to) and he snorts whenever he laughs and I find that absolutely ****ing adorable omg.

Anyway so we stood up and he goes "can I ask you a question?" and I said "sure" and he said "Can I hug you?" and I said "sure" so we hugged. And then I said "I owe you a hug anyway, I promised you one when we were talking the other night (about his dead friend)" so we hugged again and then he said "Damn you're nice to cuddle" so we kept hugging. The hugs were lasting longer each time until they were minutes at a time.

Then we started rubbing each others backs while we were hugging and when we came out of each hug we were sort of lingering closer to each other and then I said "Can I ask you a question?" and he said "sure" and I said "Can I kiss you?" and he just looked at me and smiled and then we kissed!

And we kissed again. He told me I was a good kisser which was really awesome since that was actually my first kiss (I've done sexual things with friends before but never kissed anyone I was interested in).

Aaaaa so exciting! We ended up making out like seven times and then we had to go because it was midnight and he goes to bed earlier than I do :P

But yeah I'm seeing him again tonight! We're going to see Pitch Perfect and it shall be awesome!
 

Minato Arisato

Memento mori...
105
Posts
11
Years
  • Age 32
  • Seen Sep 4, 2016
Man, I wish I had such super nice stories to share with you all, but since I mostly keep to myself, I usually don't talk to anyone.
 

Lateon

The Eon Follower
135
Posts
13
Years
A little while ago, an older gentleman (50+) came out to me at work. He's known all his life, but never actually came out to his family. He had a boyfriend, but long story short, his boyfriend hung himself with a dog collar =(

I was reflecting about how hard it must be for older generations, especially in my highly republican area, to come to terms with their sexuality and keep it a secret for their whole lives. I couldn't imagine having to carry that burden around for so long.
 
10,769
Posts
14
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It must have been pretty bad in the past if even today in the developed world you still have people committing suicide because of the pressure and shame of being gay.
 

Nakuzami

[img]https://i.imgur.com/iwlpePA.png[/img]
6,896
Posts
13
Years
But yeah I'm seeing him again tonight! We're going to see Pitch Perfect and it shall be awesome!

Aw, so cute. <3

AAAAND, how long has it been since I posted here? ._.
DID I MENTION I GOT MY FIRST BOYFRIEND? Like, almost four months ago but I honestly think it's been that long since I posted here. . . .
I'm not sure where to start. :x . . . So, I think I'ma just let my post end at this awkward cliff. *plunge*
(Also, I'm now in love with P!nk but that may or may not be completely irrelevant. :>)
 

Nakuzami

[img]https://i.imgur.com/iwlpePA.png[/img]
6,896
Posts
13
Years
@Altix - Thanks~

Congratulations on your boyfriend, Nakuzami :) May I ask how you two met?

Ooooh, I guess that's where I can start.
That seems like an awkward story to tell. Well, time to make an attempt, lol.

I think I knew him for about a year, perhaps a little more, before we started dating. AHAHAHA, but the circumstances of our meeting is where it gets a bit awkward. Not at the time, but when I tell the story now it is.
At that time, he was dating my sister. :/ Well, technically my step-sister. WELL, if you get really technical she's not even that; her mother and my father have been together for, like, ten+ years, but they're not married. They refer to themselves as being married though. (Oh gosh, I sound like I'm making excuses. I guess I am. xD)

Let's put it this way: my sister is a bit of a psycho and knows how to be a major b****. She randomly decided that she hated his guts this summer. She stopped dating him a few months before that, when she pretty much dumped him to chase a long distance relationship that didn't end up lasting anyways. (I think I've already been dating him longer than my sister did.)
He's bisexual. I've known that since she was dating him, and I suppose I had a crush on him for a while and . . . oh my, I don't even know. @_@ Long story short: we liked each other and started dating September 16th. There's . . . about a three year and nine month age difference between us, (apparently completely legal in NY) lol. The only time I even notice it is when it comes to talking about school or all them privileges you get when you turn eighteen, which he did October 1st. //pfft
 
105
Posts
11
Years
Speaking of spilling feels, I think I want to spill something real quick... ;w;

Originally when I posted in this thread I had the mind set that I was a Gray-A. Turns out I had that all wrong. I was mistaking the signs of a Gray-A for what's actually proven itself to be demisexuality to me. I discovered it fully because of an ex-partner of mine recently.

I realized that my lack of desire in general and such applies to every being I know... untiiiil I actually come to love and or care about them on a deeper level. I didn't pick up those signs until my ex-partner ended up showing it to me inadvertently. .//////.

Go figure. It's similar to being a Gray-A, but your loving feelings end up applying just to that person who gives you feels. >//^//>

Well, I hope, I won't sound rude or anything after writing this>>

You see, I think, it's nice that you kind of "figured it out" and got to know that you were actually wrong the first time around. But... does labeling really matter that much? Of course, it's good to know who you are etc. but when it comes to sexual orientations, I sometimes get the feeling that people limit themselves too much. Does it matter if somebody is hetero-, bi-, homo- or asexual?

I think it's best to tell yourself: "Well, right now, I seem more like this, but if I come to like something else, it will be fine, too."

I don't know why I'm even typing this. Maybe because so many people are going on and on about what orientation suits them best. When I read your post, the same thought ocurred to me... Sure, you can call yourself whatever you want to, but isn't it easier to just "let it be how it is" and not keep thinking too much about orientations?

I hope, this didn't sound too harsh...

By the way, demisexuality doesn't sound so uncommon to me. I guess, I'd have to call myself this way as well as I don't seem to be attracted to people unless I develop feelings for them. However, I know a lot of people who are like this and I don't see a reason why it should be so unusual.

I guess, I could call myself demihetero and homosexual? You see, I only find guys hot when I have feelings for them but when it comes to girls, I find them attractive regardless of feelings.
(Haha, sorry, I'm just joking around with the terms a bit. Nothing meant too seriously.)
 

TornZero

Resident Yuri-ism Cult Leader
1,137
Posts
13
Years
Well, I hope, I won't sound rude or anything after writing this>>

You see, I think, it's nice that you kind of "figured it out" and got to know that you were actually wrong the first time around. But... does labeling really matter that much? Of course, it's good to know who you are etc. but when it comes to sexual orientations, I sometimes get the feeling that people limit themselves too much. Does it matter if somebody is hetero-, bi-, homo- or asexual?

People simply need an identity. Labels are a method of putting that identity into words without dragging it out.

Heterosexual: "I like the opposite sex. ... No, I don't like Justin Bieber."

Homosexual: "I like the same sex as me. ... No, I still don't like Justin Bieber."

Bisexual: "I like both." This can very easily be dragged out into particular preferences of each persuasion

Pansexual: "I like everyone!" ("Wait, so you like hermaphrodites and shemales too?" This obviously deserves a punch in the face, but it'll still be asked.)

Asexual: "I like no one." (Frankly, I feel like this is basically sounding out, "I'm Batman," and it shouldn't be explained further because you'll end up with a Batarang in your back and/or crotch.)
 
10,769
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14
Years
Pansexual: "I like everyone!" ("Wait, so you like hermaphrodites and shemales too?" This obviously deserves a punch in the face, but it'll still be asked.)
As someone who identifies as pansexual I think I'd rather explain to someone that there aren't such things as hermaphrodites (at least in humans) and that shemale is an impolite term and that trans, transgender, intersex, or another word would be better, but that, in a sense, yes, a pansexual person can (and most likely does if this is what they identify as) find anyone attractive whether they are male, female, both, neither, or what have you.

And then I'd punch them in the face.
 

Phantom1

[css-div="font-size: 12px; font-variant: small-cap
1,182
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12
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So my mom has been in denial ever since my er, coming out issue.

So we're in the doctor's office, and she looks at me weirdly and says, "Are you wearing makeup?" I respond that yeah, I was. She tells me that I never wear makeup, I said I was barely wearing any and it was to cover up a small zit I had. She then tells me I never wear it and asks who am was I trying to impress. Honestly, I just was covering a zit, but then she continued, asking what his or her name was.

She said 'her'.

My brain pittered out for a second.

I figured the waiting room at the doctor's office isn't the best place for a parental blow up.

But this is the closest she's ever come to even awknowledging that I like women.
 
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Victini

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Well, I hope, I won't sound rude or anything after writing this>>

You see, I think, it's nice that you kind of "figured it out" and got to know that you were actually wrong the first time around. But... does labeling really matter that much? Of course, it's good to know who you are etc. but when it comes to sexual orientations, I sometimes get the feeling that people limit themselves too much. Does it matter if somebody is hetero-, bi-, homo- or asexual?

I think it's best to tell yourself: "Well, right now, I seem more like this, but if I come to like something else, it will be fine, too."

I don't know why I'm even typing this. Maybe because so many people are going on and on about what orientation suits them best. When I read your post, the same thought ocurred to me... Sure, you can call yourself whatever you want to, but isn't it easier to just "let it be how it is" and not keep thinking too much about orientations?

I hope, this didn't sound too harsh...

... I guess I'm having a hard time understanding what lead you to reply to me at all in that manner. XD; I guess I'm not finding a point to be honest?

I'm not going on about what orientation 'suits me best'. I'm posting an update to our group on my epiphany in regards to learning about myself. Putting a label on my sexuality is the same thing as putting a label on gender or labeling a disorder... it's the same thing. Giving a 'label' to things is a way to help others understand without having to explain it (most of the time). When you give a single word to describe a ton of things, it can be understood faster and better by the general population.

I get the whole 'we're people not produce, no need for labels blah' type of thing, but really... labels are not just for you. They are also there to help everyone else understand you. And my whole idea of using the word demisexual to describe how I approach love and attraction helps others to understand me better when it comes to that. I feel like if you want others to understand you, you gotta use labels. XD;

tl;dr :
People simply need an identity. Labels are a method of putting that identity into words without dragging it out.
What Torn said.

... So I guess I'm missing the point of that reply afterall... ;w; Ah well.~
 
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105
Posts
11
Years
I'm sorry, Victini, if I confused you. You see, when I finished typing, I didn't really know either why I was saying that. (I also hinted at that xD) But I thought, since I had been writing so much, it'd be better to simply submit it than to just delete it again... so yeah. Sorry, I must admit, it's not really connected to your previous comment XD

Yes, I understand that labels are really there to make other people understand you better. But you see, I often see people who are badly trying to figure themselves out. They ask questions like "Am I homosexual or bisexual?" This is when I ask myself "At this moment, is it really so important to put a label on yourself?"

I'd say, go easy and figure it out over time, it's not important to put a label on right away. I think people sometimes take a risk and identify as something too soon, when in the end, they figure out, they are in fact something else. I mean, sure, it's fine to identify as whatever you like, if you feel it suits you... but at the same time, the moment people put a label on themselves, they kind of limit themselves as well. That's why I said in my last reply, that it'd proabably be best to be "open-minded" about one's sexual orientation....

Again, I'm not referring to you or anyone... It's just something, that I was thinking would be interesting to share.
So my mom has been in denial ever since my er, coming out issue.

So we're in the doctor's office, and she looks at me weirdly and says, "Are you wearing makeup?" I respond that yeah, I was. She tells me that I never wear makeup, I said I was barely wearing any and it was to cover up a small zit I had. She then tells me I never wear it and who am was I trying to impress. Honestly, I just was covering a zit, but then she continued, asking what his or her name was.

She said 'her'.

My brain pittered out for a second.

I told a friend and he said why didn't I tell her then about my girlfriend. I figured the waiting room at the doctor's office isn't the best place for a parental blow up.

But this is the closest she's ever come to even awknowledging that I like women.

I imagine that it must have been really awkward when your mother asked what her name was you were (in her mind) wearing makeup for, especially at a doctor's office. What did you tell her then?

Since you came out, has your mother been acting differently toward you? (Sorry, I don't know your story and if you don't feel like replying, it's fine too^^)
 
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