Social Awkwardness

Here is a common situation that I've been sadly living through my entire life. Even on the internet, I get this way. I become over-afraid or worried that my comment is going to cause an issues with someone else.

For example, even here on PokeCommunity; I want to be part of so much more, yet I can't. I can't bring myself to post or even apply for events without having fear or embarrassment overcome me which is a struggle. Recently Klippy (btw, you are awesome) hosted a series of MineCraft events on a server and recorded them, I loved and enjoyed playing with other members of the site, but when I hear my voice I think to myself, 'Oh my god; I sound terrible.' or just feel that my voice is unfit for social discussions. This leaks into my posting and as a result I see myself unfit to even join into the group stuff, it even reflect my personal opinion of myself as well. Its a never-ending struggle for me. There is some good news, I have been slowly overcoming it being apart of the community, so that is good...right?

Have you (anyone) ever felt this way on site or in life?

On the internet, I am not afraid, but in life, I am incredibly awkward. I rarely speak in front of a crowd unless I have an appropriate question, and I only speak in a small group. I also don't want to receive any attention.

I think such feelings stem from two things: 1) a lack of socialization and 2) fear. If you aren't socialized enough (by not following the norms of an interaction) but are not fearful, you might come across as awkward, but not avoidant. If you are fearful but well socialized, you might be able to hold your own in an interaction by being able to go through all the actions, so to speak, but wouldn't be very comfortable with it.

It's difficult to talk with much conviction about the issue of feeling "unworthy". Some of it has to do with more "external" factors, such as how open the group you're trying to participate with is to newcomers, and some has to do with "internal" factors, such as an irrational and unfounded appraisal of one's social value.

In general, though, I think very few people are truly unworthy of interaction. Just because a person might feel self-conscious about an aspect of themselves, and even if most people would find whatever trait about them funny, it doesn't mean that such a trait makes you "unfit". In my personal experience, I find that people are generally more tolerant of differences than what my feelings would tell me.

In real life I would say I am quite socially awkward, Unless I meet someone new who shares the same interests as me then I will talk all day long.

[FONT=&quot] Here on PC I am not socially awkward at all as I tend to start random VM conversations with people all the time. xD[/FONT]

In my personal experience, people are very tolerant on their own. As soon as there is a group to belong to, however, people might percieve a new face as a threat and shut them out. I have never experienced a voice to be the subject of such treatment, but that could be because the owner knows the risk and remains silent, wich is sad, really.

My situation is a social anxiety that hasn't got better at the same rate as my need for social interaction has grown. It's odd as well because if I have something to say, I can say it regardless of the attending crowd. I did question my teachers and the professors in university, in front of the 200 people in the room, because I had something to say. But during the breaks I rarely spoke to anyone, because I really did not think I was worthy of their time. I just could not say anything I thought was good enough and many times felt so awkward that I literally took off.

On the internet, I have plenty of trouble being social. I've always got this feeling like I might say something and somebody take it in a bad way(like get angry or upset or whatever), or I feel like what I say could attract more attention than I can handle, or that what I say could just make me seem annoying or something. I've deleted a fair number of posts on different sites because of feelings like that.


IRL, I'm not much different. I have an incredibly difficult time talking in front of large groups. I can hardly talk to anybody around me, and if I manage to warm up to conversation enough, I'll never get very loud. I can't stand having a lot of attention focused at me in public places. Most times, I won't speak unless spoken to, and I always try to keep my responses short and to the point.


Socializing on the internet gets easier the more you do it--especially with friends or people you know. In real life ... well I can't really say for sure on that since I've never been able to socialize much or very well at all.

I certainly do struggle with this quite a bit. It's not that I lack social practice or knowledge of social graces. It's that I don't always have full confidence in myself and, to some small degree, feel that some graces are somewhat unnecessary or excessive on some occasions. But being and feeling awkward is actually a good thing...well to some degree. Yes it's some what of a biological wiring shortcut but it works.

Vsauce actually just put out a relevant video on this recently; I think it really puts awkwardness into perspective personally. But that doesn't make being awkward, feel any less awkward.

Spoilered relevant video to topic; for those who don't want to/can't watch it.

For me, it's not the social awkwardness. I think a lot of it is not being as good as all the other people. Though, I do think that a lot of it has to do with autism. I don't really like chatrooms with a ton of people. It can be quite overwhelming for me because I have a hard time trying to keep up with others. I'd much rather just watch people chat rather than join in since most of the time, they are talking about something that doesn't interest me.

I even have a hard time sending little twitter messages to my hero. The problem for me is having to come up with something to say. So, I end up being really random and what not. It is rather embarrassing because I feel like he might find me weird or strange. I really do adore him, and I think he's seeing that. I don't really think he minds hearing from me if he's paying attention either.

IRL, I'm somewhat the same. I have a hard time actually starting conversation rather than be apart of it as well. I just can't seem to socialize like others. I want to so bad, but I just can't. I usually end up withdrawing from any and all social interaction because after a while it becomes extremely overbearing for me. :/

I am severely socially awkward. I kinda just stand there saying stuff like "so........" and "um....." because I have no idea what to say. And I never want to say something that will make me look weirder than I already am, you know?

yes.

Tbh, I'm not like those cool kids who hang out with their friends, post their selfies, and stuff. I just find that idea really weird. I hate it when someone criticizes you just for one mistake you just said or did, because I really so fucking guilty about it.

However I really don't feel that in the internet. Maybe because of anonymity? I just feel comfortable not talking to one another, where you know you don't know how will they react until they type something.

in my experience, my social awkwardness has gone away as I've gotten older. that's not to say it's totally gone, nor is it to say I'm old at all (because I'm not) but I feel like mine peaked early, if you will -- when I was 13 I could hardly even look a girl in the eye, no matter who it was, and I got a bit nervous whenever I had to interact with people. at some point I realized that no one really cares if you slip up and a lot of the time, especially in a more formal setting, they're probably more worried about how they're coming across and aren't paying as much attention to what you may perceive as Crippling Awkwardness. but yeah nowadays I'm not particularly awkward at all. never give up hope. (0;

maccrash said:

in my experience, my social awkwardness has gone away as I've gotten older. that's not to say it's totally gone, nor is it to say I'm old at all (because I'm not) but I feel like mine peaked early, if you will -- when I was 13 I could hardly even look a girl in the eye, no matter who it was, and I got a bit nervous whenever I had to interact with people. at some point I realized that no one really cares if you slip up and a lot of the time, especially in a more formal setting, they're probably more worried about how they're coming across and aren't paying as much attention to what you may perceive as Crippling Awkwardness. but yeah nowadays I'm not particularly awkward at all. never give up hope. (0;

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You were socially awkward? That's actuall pretty tough to believe considering how you act around here. You've got a good air of confidence about you here so I always assumed you were the same way in real life.

El Héroe Oscuro said:

You were socially awkward? That's actuall pretty tough to believe considering how you act around here. You've got a good air of confidence about you here so I always assumed you were the same way in real life.

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that's quite nice to hear you say tbh. I'd had a tough time with it for awhile but it's different now! I've become far more confident about, well, everything really, and I think I've really settled into who I am nicely which helps as I don't really question what I'm doing anymore for the most part -- or at least I'm not questioning the things I used to question. I still question things that should be questioned, I guess. (how many times can I say question in one post)

maccrash said:

that's quite nice to hear you say tbh. I'd had a tough time with it for awhile but it's different now! I've become far more confident about, well, everything really, and I think I've really settled into who I am nicely which helps as I don't really question what I'm doing anymore for the most part -- or at least I'm not questioning the things I used to question. I still question things that should be questioned, I guess. (how many times can I say question in one post)

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That's really good to hear. It shows that you're growing out of a phase of insecurity, something which I can't personally say I've gotten over. I don't want to say that I'm overall an insecure person because I'm not, but I've realized that over the last few years I have a tendency of blowing some things out of proportion when it comes to relationships. Not like in a detrimental way to my partner, but moreover it being a self antagonizing action you know? Like you tend to nitpick at the little things and thus just torment yourself. I think everyone though has insecurities of one form or another, as we all have our weaknesses.

Oh boy I took a ride on the feels train didn't I haha.