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[Pokémon] After the Poképocalypse

18
Posts
10
Years
This is my first attempt at writing fan-fiction, so I'd appreciate any feedback! This is a post-apocalyptic AU starring Ash. Possibly more in this series to come!

----
After the Poképocalypse

"Pikachu, I choose you," Ash whispered.

Pikachu manifested in front of Ash, ready for his next task. They had arrived to a small, abandoned house on Route 2, needing a place to stay for the night. Pikachu quickly jumped on top of the toppled table in the middle of the room and shot a spark into the lone lightbulb hanging by a thread from the ceiling. The home instantly lit up.

There weren't too many trainers around anymore. The Poképocalypse had wiped out a large part of the population and left only feral Pokémon and those trainers that reacted quickly enough to protect themselves. Ash was smart – he had the trainer experience to use his Alakazam to momentarily transport him during the brunt of the damage. He transferred his Pokémon from those useless, defunct Pokécenter PCs to a flash drive of his, ensuring he would have them after the Poképocalypse.

Ash released his team inside the abandoned home, all laying out and getting comfortable after a long trek through deserted land. Ash's Froakie provided refreshment for the team with the fresh water spouting from his mouth, while the Snorlax laid out as a bed for the team to work off their exhaustion. The team had a clear goal – find Misty and Brock. Ash was sure they survived. He would travel the world in search for his old companions. They would all start their own town again, host their own gym, find a way to rebuild this wasteland to the glory it once knew.

Nothing would stop him. The title of Pokémon Champion wasn't there anymore as an end goal – this time, it was the safety of his friends.

This was only the beginning – nobody knew what lay ahead in this shell of what used to be a vibrant Pokémon world.

----

The sun melted through the cracks in the roof of the abandoned house as Ash stirred. Ever since humans and their poisonous factories were demolished, the sun shone brighter than ever. It was at once pleasant, but overwhelming: a reassuring sign that nature was returning to normal, but without notable season changes, traveling became that much more difficult.

Ash called all of his Pokémon back into their respective Pokéballs, but noticed that Pikachu was staring out the window, making a slight whimpering noise.

"What's wrong, Pikachu?"

He pointed his tail into the distance, where Ash saw the ruins of a city rising out of the dust clouds. It appeared to be a city that was rediscovered and turned into a fort, possibly for marauders or friendlies – Ash wasn't going to take a chance and find that out for himself. He called Pikachu back into his Pokéball and opened the door, but was instantly confronted by a a tall, unfamiliar figure.

"Oh my God!" Ash exclaimed as he fell backwards into the home, launching a cloud of dust from the ground to obscure the mysterious visitor even further. "Who are you and what do you want?"

"I think you remember us."

"Prepare for trouble."
"And make it double."
"To scavenge the world after devastation."
"To ensure survival within this nation."
"To denounce the goods of compassion and grace."
"To extend our reach to the wasteland's face."
"Jessie!"
"James!"
"Team Rocket! Blast off at the speed of light."
"Surrender now or prepare to fight."
"That's right!"

Of course Ash had heard that stupid jingle before. It was Team Rocket, Jesse, James and their Meowth, looking to cause trouble. Ash had always wondered if these two morons were capable of surviving the Poképocalypse.

"Look, I'm not going to fight you two. I need to keep moving to find who else might be out there," Ash said definitively.

"Ah, ah, ah. I don't think so," said James. "We're going to battle right now."

The Poképocalypse changed everything. Only two known Pokécenters still had active healing machines (one of which had the only working PC), so any Pokémon death would make Ash's journey that much more difficult. Furthermore, the products that he and all trainers relied so heavily on – potions, ethers, stat boosters – were in scarce supply. Although Ash had complete confidence that his team would annihilate any competition, it wasn't worth the risk.

"I don't want to defeat you and leave you without your Meowth. After all, he's probably the one keeping you alive," Ash said, seemingly viciously, but more so compassionately.

"Ugh, you're right. We can't afford to lose again," conceded Jessie. "Next time we see you though, it's on."

Jessie, James and Meowth jumped on their Growlithe and vanished into the dust.

----

Ash lumbered on, his once-bright red hat now faded beyond recognition. He used what little craft skills he had to patch up his fingerless gloves too. He was proud of that. He knew his mom would be too.

Ash had no other option but to visit this mysterious fortress. He walked up to the makeshift door of this unknown city in ruins and knocked emphatically. He was positive this was a friendly hideout. He held his breath.

"Who is it?" a voice muttered through one of the cracks in the wood.

"Ash Ketchum, former Pokémon Champion. Looking for some new allies."

"Ash?!"

This voice at full volume triggered Ash's memory. Suddenly, his eyes widened with joy at the person who stood before him.

"Misty!"

She ran up to him and launched a massive bear hug, one Ash hadn't felt since before the Poképocalypse when his Teddyursa would accompany him to bed. Teddy was safe and sound in the flash drive now.

"I can't believe... I thought you were...," Misty said, tears embedded in the corner of her eyes.

"I knew I would run into you at some point. I missed you. We need to get going."

"I missed you too, but why are we in a hurry?" Misty asked.

"We've been living in this wasteland for too long. We need to find a way to restore everything. We can channel the power of our Pokémon and those we encounter... let's bring life back to this world."
 
Last edited:

Infiltrat0rN7

Legion
20
Posts
11
Years
Hello, this is my first review, so I apologize in advance for my ineptitude.

Pikachu manifested in front of Ash, ready for his next task.

I find it odd that Ash kept his pikachu inside of a pokeball, for pikachu as far as I can remember avoids being trapped in a pokeball. I suppose that some sort of radiation could be present in the atmosphere, and pikachu's small body can't be exposed to it for a prolonged period. In spite of that, I think that pikachu would still insist on remaining outside of the ball, given that he did not return to his pokeball in this one episode where they were stuck in a mountain.

They would all start their own town again, host their own gym, find a way to rebuild this wasteland to the glory it once knew.

It is strange that they want to host a gym despite some sort of apocalypse that ravaged the world. It just seems as if Ash's priorities are faulted.

Nothing would stop him. The title of Pokémon Champion wasn't there anymore as an end goal – this time, it was the safety of his friends.

I understand what you are saying, but this sentence is rather confusing. Perhaps a better way to phrase it would be, " The title of Pokémon Champion wasn't his goal anymore this time, it was the safety of his friends"

I have two things to mention about the previous excerpt. First, you use an em dash quite often even when a comma may be more appropriate. Second, you used the phrase "end goal" which is redundant as a goal is something that is achieved at the end; it is what you strive for.

This was only the beginning – nobody knew what lay ahead in this shell of what used to be a vibrant Pokémon world.

Again, I would switch the em dash with a comma. Also, when you say "in this shell of what used to be a vibrant Pokémon world" I feel that the statement is redundant, given that shell implies "what used to be", so in total: "This was only the beginning, nobody knew what lay ahead in this shell of a vibrant Pokémon world."

It was at once pleasant, but overwhelming: a reassuring sign that nature was returning to normal, but without notable season changes, traveling became that much more difficult.

A lack of notable season changes means that a large meteorite must have collided with the earth to tilt its rotation axis. That's some serious catastrophic stuff. In fact, I'd venture to say that Deoxys might play a significant role in the story given his extra-terrestrial origins.

It appeared to be a city that was rediscovered and turned into a fort, possibly for marauders or friendlies – Ash wasn't going to take a chance and find that out for himself.

The em dash again.

"Prepare for trouble."
"And make it double."
"To scavenge the world after devastation."
"To ensure survival within this nation."
"To denounce the goods of compassion and grace."
"To extend our reach to the wasteland's face."
"Jessie!"
"James!"
"Team Rocket! Blast off at the speed of light."
"Surrender now or prepare to fight."
"That's right!"

You need to fix your spacing as it is not consistent with the rest of your story.

Jessie, James and Meowth jumped on their Growlithe and vanished into the dust.

I doubt that a growlite is capable of supporting the weight of two adults and meowth. Perhaps you meant to say Arcanine?

"I can't believe... I thought you were...," Misty said, tears embedded in the corner of her eyes.

I don't think embedded is the appropriate term here as it implies being fixed in place, and we both know that tears are capable of moving. Just a nitpick, nothing major.

"We've been living in this wasteland for too long. We need to find a way to restore everything. We can channel the power of our Pokémon and those we encounter... let's bring life back to this world."

Cue passionate sex scene.

Overall, I have to say that you did a good job for your first fanfiction. In your next chapter you should avoid using em dashes so frequently. I can't comment much about the plot or character development as there is not much for me to work off of.
 
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