I don't mean to sound insensitive, but you aren't going to get any better by whining about it. You're only young, you still have a ways to go. We all do. That's the greatest thing about roleplaying, is that you sample other's styles, learn, be inspired by them.
So, long story short, keep doing what you're doing. It's like me and drawing. You get there eventually, and when you do, it's like a magical moment. But you just wanna keep going. So don't try and seek sympathy or praise from others, find your own praise!! We all get there in the end as long as we keep trying, keep going and keep at it. Persistence, man. Ask any of the Veterans here.