Breakups

So people here are avoiding relationship because they are not able to face the fact that they might be incompatible with the other person? You can't know unless you try.

Bad breakups are the result of people not being assertive enough or/and someone suffering from some sort of coping mechanism(s) which coupled with unmet expectations which may or may not be realistic.

The only major relationship I got into didn't have that bad of a break up. We pretty much both acknowledged that we should go back to being just friends. I was sad for a little while, sure, but I got over it fairly quickly. To me it seems a bad breakup usually implies getting dumped.

I've only been in one relationship that I was really invested in and when she broke up with me, it was about as bad as it could have been. I was shaken up pretty badly by it and the aftermath didn't help. I was in rough shape for a while and it stayed with me to some degree even for a couple of years afterward. That relationship started around Christmas of '07 and ended the day after Christmas of '08. I probably didn't really get over it completely until two or three years later. I think that experience really shattered my naivete on the topic of love, which I think is part of growing up. Even with how bad that turned out, though, looking back on it, I think it was a good experience. The year I had was one of my best, for sure; that's why it hurt so much when I lost it.

I've tried my hand at a few more relationships since then, but I was never really invested in any of them and nothing ever really came of them, we just kind of stopped talking in every case. I guess I was never really that close to any of those women to begin with. It's a bit sad for me because I really like romance and love and I remember how happy I was when I was in that one relationship. I really wanted to recapture that feeling I once had and so I wanted to care about those relationships, I just... didn't. There's not much you can do if you find out neither of you is really interested in keeping the relationship alive.

I do miss it, but that's just how it is. It's not as though I'm unhappy. I would still love to experience that feeling once again, and it obviously makes me sad that I've had no luck so far, but it's not the end of the world. My life is pretty good and I cope with being single pretty well. It's just, it would be nice to be really and truly in love again.

There's the old cliched adage that it's better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all. I think I would agree with that in the long term. Short term, though, it really does feel like the end of the world. Unless you consider yourself weak-willed, though, I wouldn't avoid a relationship just because you're afraid it might not work out. It's always worth it to try. Now, if only I could follow my own advice.

Technically I've been through two breakups. I don't really count the one though because I took a girl on one date when I was still in the closet then proceeded to break up with her.

I've only been in one "serious relationship." It was a fairly unconventional relationship in the first place (Three men, polyamorous and gay, all met each other online, they both lived in a different country than me.) but it certainly still counts. In a way it doesn't really feel like a break up though, because we had only met offline once and we still remain very close friends to this day. I find that a lot of people end a relationship and then just refuse to talk to each other, and I can't imagine how that would work. It just seems so cold.

I mean, heartbreak certainly is a thing. I had fallen in love with the idea of always having these men in my life, and that we could make things work despite the unconventional idea of it all. We had all loved that idea, really, but we needed to be realistic about it. Being an adult is tough but in the end we made the right decision. Some people aren't set up to handle distance in a relationship, and while I think I am, the other two aren't and I have to respect that. It was a really bitter pill to swallow, but that's growing up.

I cried on my break at work once I realized I couldn't have my way. I hate crying lol.

I've been through plenty of break ups, but the worst one was with someone I didn't actually get the chance to officially date. idk if I'd call it a break up, but he still made it clear he didn't want to talk about dating or any of that anymore. But it hit me harder than it should have and I'm kind of ashamed to mention that it basically kickstarted my depression that year. That's why I like to forget 2011 happened. January 7th, 2011. Worst day of my life. I sound so dependent but idk that guy was my world and how I dealt with it is something I couldn't really control. My heart hurts typing this, wow.

This is depressing isn't it wow okay so other break ups were mostly initiated by me. None of them were really gut wrenching like that other one so yeah. Lesson I learned is to not get so attached and dependent on someone else for my own happiness.

The hardest and easiest break up for me to handle was the relationship i had for a year and a half.
It was really hard on me because I had spent so much of my time and energy to only have it wasted and unappreciated. Once the other person decided to call it quits I was sad yet relieving because I didn't have to waste my time anymore and since the relationship started becoming unstable it was more relief than anything.
Now I'm just enjoying life without having the stress of being with someone who wasn't truly compatible with me and compatibility is all that matters in any kind of relationship whether it's romantic or platonic.

Both of my past two most recent breakups have been really long, really drawn out and really emotionally crippling in the end. Both of them practically ended the same, with my partner telling me that while they still have feelings for me my drinking and partying is causing them to lose faith and trust in me, and then I beg for them back, and I win, and then it happens again a week or two later and we break up for good. Both girls have immediately started dating my ex-best friend (two different guys), which also wasn't great for my confidence.

I'm really not in the mood for relationships or women at the moment. Feel like I'd be best off if I just focus on doing me.

Bidoof FTW said:

Most of us, if not all, have been through a breakup.

I've just had one today, so I thought it'd be a good topic for discussion. Are you usually the one ending relationships? Or do you find yourself on the receiving end of "the talk"? If one has really gotten to you how did you shake it off?

I'll post one for myself once I've figured out my answers, lol.

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Aww, I'm so sorry. :/

Don't worry, you'll definitely find someone great for you very soon. :)

To be VERY honest..there's been literally hundreds of times where I'd like to break up with someone. But I'm a PUNK!
I won't do it because I feel like I'd be making a mistake..So I figure things like, "well, he's a big enough jerk - so I'm betting he'll break up with me first"..But it never happens..And we'll end up making up like nothing has ever happened.

Not exactly talking about my current boyfriend, just some dudes in general.

If a guy does break up with me - whether or not if it makes sense (the last idiot didn't make sense), I'll shake it off with some metal music from my fav bands - like War of Ages and Demon Hunter.. <3

I've went through breakups ( 2 ), and in both, I was the one ending it,
was awfull despite that. The first one was with my first gf ever, I ended
it cause I thought I wasn't good enough for her. The second one was
because I thought my gf was losing intrest in me, srsly, our conversations
used to be long, about many things. but later on, she wasn't even texting me,
she kept me waiting for weeks for her reply. Both were long distance
relationships btw.