First off, I just wanna say I love your hack. But the way the time works just isn't the same as in Crystal. If you want it to be more accurate, I would recommend removing the dark tint you added for evening. It just looks like someone turned down the brightness setting. Doesn't look to good imo. Morning, day, and night all look amazing though. Just that evening.. oohh.
Also in gen II, night starts at 6:00 PM. You had it set so evening began at 5:00 which is a little early, I think. Night should start where you have it, it's perfectly fine. Just that evening seems kind of unnecessary.
I understand that you're probably busy at the time, but please just consider these changes. It would make the hack so much more like Crystal (better, too!) and maybe adding Phanpy on Route 46 and Hoothoot on Route 29? :D