Jacinth
~Darling~
- 128
- Posts
- 11
- Years
- Age 25
- Idaho, USA
- Seen Aug 25, 2012
This is very certainly not my first fanfiction, but it is the first one I'm releasing publicially. It is based off Pokemon Mystery Dungeon: Explorers of the Sky. It will not be an exact copy of its storyline, but rather a more mature (And hopefully more entertaining) retelling of its contents.
It is much like a nuzlocke in the fact that if a Pokemon faints, it dies. As so, this should make it more realistic and tense in battle scenes.
Criticism would be highly appreciated, as I want my writing to be the best it can be!
Here is the prologue. :)
It's always darkest before the dawn… Florence + The Machine, Shake it Out
Prologue
"Lark… Are you ready for this?" the Grovyle asked, the Celebi near them busy preparing their ride to the past.
"Chaos, you know very well I could be asking you the same thing." The human girl replied, looking with calm, green eyes at her Pokemon partner.
"…Yes, I suppose so. One cannot be prepared for these things."
"Don't worry too much." Lark smiled, reaching over to hold his hand. "We'll make it. Surely, destiny cannot be too harsh on us. " Chaos turned his head, blushing away from her view.
"It is ready, my dears." Celebi finally announced in a breathy voice, exhaustion obvious in her eyes.
"Thank you. " Chaos replied. Lark nodded towards Celebi and said, "Hopefully, if all goes well, we will not see you again."
"Yes. But know I will also await your return in case of this mission's unfortunate failure."
"That is much appreciated, Celebi, but it won't be needed." Lark looked at Chaos, speaking words of encouragement. "We will complete this, whether or not we die in the process."
"Yes... but enough talk!" Celebi ushered. "Dialga will sense the portal if it is open too long. He must not be too alert, since nothing like this has happened before,… But I suggest you make your way before something happens."
Lark took a deep, shaky breath. She knew she was more scared than Grovyle; she was holding on to him more for herself than for Chaos.
A few steps towards the glowing portal, and then they broke into a run. Lark winced as she went headfirst into the glowing light, a deafening roar being the last sound she heard before all faded to black.
_____________________________________________________________
A crash of thunder, wind blowing. A voice,… Who is that?
"Whoa! Wh-wh-whoa…! Are…" There is a long pause, and my ears ring. "Are you okay?"
Another crash of thunder, and my ears ring more. Lightning flashes, and I close my eyes in pain. What is this…?
"No! Don't let go! Just a little longer… Come on! Hang on, Lark!"
Lark? Is that my name? Who is speaking?
More thunder and lightning interrupt my thoughts.
"N-n-no! I can't…hold on…!" Was that my voice? I sound so… Scared…
There is a horrifying scream before my vision fades once more.
…… ……………. ……………………. "Urrgh…"
Where… Where am I?
Trying to collect my thoughts, I shake my head drowsily. …I can't…drifting off…
A sigh escapes my lips as my head hits the ground.
_____________________________________________________________________
"Hmm…" The dark-colored Shinx said to himself, pacing in front of the guild.
"No. I refuse to be paralyzed by this any longer! Today is the day I gather my courage!" With those words, he stepped onto the grate, wincing as loud voices came from beneath him.
"Pokemon detected! Pokemon detected!"
"Whose footprint? Whose footprint?"
"The footprint is Shinx's! The footprint is Shinx's!"
The small cat let out a yelp before jumping off the grate, startled. "Where did those voices come from?" He muttered, looking around with suspicion. When he saw no other Pokemon around he sighed, looking down in self-disappointment.
"…I…I'm not brave enough to go in, after all. I told myself this was the day,…" Placing an odd-shaped stone in front of him, tears began to well up in his eyes.
"I thought that holding onto my personal treasure would inspire me…" He retrieved the item before shaking his head, regret plaguing his mind. "I just can't do it… This is so discouraging…" He turned and slowly walked away from his dream, tears flowing down his furry cheeks as he made his way back to the town.
Arriving at the Crossroads, he flinched as the light of the setting sun hit his eyes. "Maybe..." He sniffed. "Maybe the Krabby are out today.... That would be nice..." The Shinx tried to compose himself on his walk towards the beach, drying the tears from his eyes. He hoped that the beauty of the bubbles floating on the horizon would help calm him.
When he entered the small cove, he gasped in surprise. He had seen the Krabby blowing bubbles before, but not in the evening, when the sun was setting.
"...Wow..." He took a deep breath. "Those bubbles, reflecting the setting sun's rays off the waves..." He shook his head in astonishment. "...Just....Wow..." His eyes followed the direction the bubbles were blowing, watching the beautiful orbs float off in the distance. Lowering his gaze a bit, he noticed something red-looking lying on the sand off the shore.
"Huh? What's that?" He stepped a bit closer, squinting.
The Shinx gasped again, not out of astonishment, but horror. There, on the wet grains of sand, lay a body... An unmoving, unconscious, maybe even dead... He let out a cry and ran towards it, for once in his life, truly scared.
It is much like a nuzlocke in the fact that if a Pokemon faints, it dies. As so, this should make it more realistic and tense in battle scenes.
Criticism would be highly appreciated, as I want my writing to be the best it can be!
Here is the prologue. :)
It's always darkest before the dawn… Florence + The Machine, Shake it Out
Prologue
"Lark… Are you ready for this?" the Grovyle asked, the Celebi near them busy preparing their ride to the past.
"Chaos, you know very well I could be asking you the same thing." The human girl replied, looking with calm, green eyes at her Pokemon partner.
"…Yes, I suppose so. One cannot be prepared for these things."
"Don't worry too much." Lark smiled, reaching over to hold his hand. "We'll make it. Surely, destiny cannot be too harsh on us. " Chaos turned his head, blushing away from her view.
"It is ready, my dears." Celebi finally announced in a breathy voice, exhaustion obvious in her eyes.
"Thank you. " Chaos replied. Lark nodded towards Celebi and said, "Hopefully, if all goes well, we will not see you again."
"Yes. But know I will also await your return in case of this mission's unfortunate failure."
"That is much appreciated, Celebi, but it won't be needed." Lark looked at Chaos, speaking words of encouragement. "We will complete this, whether or not we die in the process."
"Yes... but enough talk!" Celebi ushered. "Dialga will sense the portal if it is open too long. He must not be too alert, since nothing like this has happened before,… But I suggest you make your way before something happens."
Lark took a deep, shaky breath. She knew she was more scared than Grovyle; she was holding on to him more for herself than for Chaos.
A few steps towards the glowing portal, and then they broke into a run. Lark winced as she went headfirst into the glowing light, a deafening roar being the last sound she heard before all faded to black.
_____________________________________________________________
A crash of thunder, wind blowing. A voice,… Who is that?
"Whoa! Wh-wh-whoa…! Are…" There is a long pause, and my ears ring. "Are you okay?"
Another crash of thunder, and my ears ring more. Lightning flashes, and I close my eyes in pain. What is this…?
"No! Don't let go! Just a little longer… Come on! Hang on, Lark!"
Lark? Is that my name? Who is speaking?
More thunder and lightning interrupt my thoughts.
"N-n-no! I can't…hold on…!" Was that my voice? I sound so… Scared…
There is a horrifying scream before my vision fades once more.
…… ……………. ……………………. "Urrgh…"
Where… Where am I?
Trying to collect my thoughts, I shake my head drowsily. …I can't…drifting off…
A sigh escapes my lips as my head hits the ground.
_____________________________________________________________________
"Hmm…" The dark-colored Shinx said to himself, pacing in front of the guild.
"No. I refuse to be paralyzed by this any longer! Today is the day I gather my courage!" With those words, he stepped onto the grate, wincing as loud voices came from beneath him.
"Pokemon detected! Pokemon detected!"
"Whose footprint? Whose footprint?"
"The footprint is Shinx's! The footprint is Shinx's!"
The small cat let out a yelp before jumping off the grate, startled. "Where did those voices come from?" He muttered, looking around with suspicion. When he saw no other Pokemon around he sighed, looking down in self-disappointment.
"…I…I'm not brave enough to go in, after all. I told myself this was the day,…" Placing an odd-shaped stone in front of him, tears began to well up in his eyes.
"I thought that holding onto my personal treasure would inspire me…" He retrieved the item before shaking his head, regret plaguing his mind. "I just can't do it… This is so discouraging…" He turned and slowly walked away from his dream, tears flowing down his furry cheeks as he made his way back to the town.
Arriving at the Crossroads, he flinched as the light of the setting sun hit his eyes. "Maybe..." He sniffed. "Maybe the Krabby are out today.... That would be nice..." The Shinx tried to compose himself on his walk towards the beach, drying the tears from his eyes. He hoped that the beauty of the bubbles floating on the horizon would help calm him.
When he entered the small cove, he gasped in surprise. He had seen the Krabby blowing bubbles before, but not in the evening, when the sun was setting.
"...Wow..." He took a deep breath. "Those bubbles, reflecting the setting sun's rays off the waves..." He shook his head in astonishment. "...Just....Wow..." His eyes followed the direction the bubbles were blowing, watching the beautiful orbs float off in the distance. Lowering his gaze a bit, he noticed something red-looking lying on the sand off the shore.
"Huh? What's that?" He stepped a bit closer, squinting.
The Shinx gasped again, not out of astonishment, but horror. There, on the wet grains of sand, lay a body... An unmoving, unconscious, maybe even dead... He let out a cry and ran towards it, for once in his life, truly scared.
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