Oryx
CoquettishCat
- 13,184
- Posts
- 13
- Years
- Age 31
- Seen Jan 30, 2015
Toujours said:
machomuu said:
This game is...very difficult. Pretty, but difficult. I have memories of playing this game for hours and hours and hours as a child, and then using the music option to listen to Lion King songs for the rest of the night. Now, looking back on it as an adult, I have no idea how far I got or even how many levels there are, and it's a whole new experience! Join me in my descent into madness as I die over and over again on every level :)
Part 1: It Starts
I started out this game fairly confident. "I can do this!" I told myself. "I beat Putt Putt Goes to the Parade the other day!" Even with the knowledge that I had started this game about a week ago and quit, I convinced myself that it was just because I didn't feel like playing anymore. So I started up the game, prepared to breeze through.
I am a lion. I am strong. I am...killing lizards.
Wouldn't that horn hurt me? I don't understand! I deduce that the bars on the top left and top right must be some kind of roar and health meters respectively, but the roar meter refills randomly and I don't need to have anything in it to roar. I don't get it.
MOVIE DISCREPANCY: Simba hated bugs until he left the Pridelands and ran into Timon and Pumbaa! There are bugs all over the damn place, and I just don't g--IS THAT A 1UP
I want. Must find a way to get there. I've been climbing up this whole time, maybe I just need to get up high enough and over to the right?
In my excitement, I pounce on unsuspecting hedgehogs. Why won't you just share the hedge, hedgehogs?
These explode. I don't know why. Because variety? Why can I eat the other bugs but not this one? Lion King you have some explaining to do.
Save point! Awesome! I haven't done anything worth saving though yet. Guess it can't hurt.
I see a bug I can eat! I bet that's extra points! (Does this game have points?) I wonder if I can jump up there...
Nopenopenopenopeahhhhhhhh
Thunk. Had to climb alllll the way back up. But once I got to the top...
Save point! I remember this part. Time to tumble down and fight a hyena, right?
I KNOW YOUR TRICKS HYENA. YOU CAN ONLY JUMP SO HIGH.
BOINK. TAKE THAT, HYENA.
YEAHHHHH. I'M THE BEST. ROAR.
Cute between-level pixel art! "Everything the light touches is our kingdom." I'm ready for the next level. I'm pumped. I didn't die once. I'm the best!
I like roaring! I like monkeys! And I'm digging this background music. I am confident in my abilities to best this game now.
Get out of my way, giraffes! Lion comin through!
Toooooo easy.
Roar at monkeys, right? I can do that. If I remember correctly, you're supposed to roar at all the pink ones and none of the blue ones, right?
What why are they throwing me I'm just an itty bitty lion I don't understand this put me down
Cool, guess I was right about the roaring at pink monkeys. Why only the girl monkeys, DISNEY???
Okay, riding pink ostrich. Need to jump/duck. Got it. Did this happen in the movie?
Note: taking this picture resulted in my first death.
After I went through all that AGAIN, I was certain I just needed to stop taking perfect-timing screenshots and just play and I'd get through this part no problem.
Two deaths later...
I don't understand...all I have to do is jump...why can't I jump right...
WHY DISNEY, WHY. Every one of these deaths was at the same point in the level - jumping twice over a tree and a...pink hippo, I think it is. I start to swear.
I don't know what this means. Doesn't that mean I just start the level over? They can't start me from the first level again, right?
...What.
NO. I ALREADY DID THIS.
I never got the 1up! Must have been in that tree I couldn't figure out how to climb.
Not going to lie, this is when the savestates started. I estimate that I would have had at least 3 or 4 more game overs if I had not used save states. Finally I make it past the godforsaken pink ostrich.
This is like the movie right? So I have to knock them over? ...No?
You'd think the rhinos would be more upset by this. Kitty claws in your tail?
...I fell in the water. :( I guess Simba can't swim.
See that itty-bitty splash near the rhino's leg? That's me!! This is just swinging from rhino tail to rhino tail, this should not be so difficult. I'm starting to question my intelligence.
Endless save states later, the other side gives me a 1up. Success!
I know there's a sun-thing (I guess kinda like a life?) on the other side of this tail. Can I reach it? Do I dare try?
I'M GOING FOR IT YOU GUYS
... :( Bad decision. Why'd you make me go for it.
Oh THIS is what you do! Stand on the hippo's head! Got it.
Sun acquired. Now to get out of here without dying.
WHAT NO. I thought we were done with this, video game!!!
Many, many save states later...I've lost my confidence in this game. I will never escape this level. I will be in over-saturated hell forever.
This roar is not a roar of pride. It is a roar of frustration. Of anger. I will roar at the monkeys. But I won't be happy about it.
An obtainable 1up! Note I sunk into the water multiple times getting it. I suck at this. I don't deserve to be playing this game.
I just...I don't even have the will to roar anymore. You can rest, pink monkey. I'll roar at some blue monkeys instead.
It took me this long in the game to realize roaring at blue monkeys does jack squat. I cry a little inside. I roar at everything until something unlocks and I am thrown down another giraffe. I pray no pink ostrich is at the end to deliver me.
And thus, I enter the third level! And here ends Part 1 of my kill-myself LP.
I started out this game fairly confident. "I can do this!" I told myself. "I beat Putt Putt Goes to the Parade the other day!" Even with the knowledge that I had started this game about a week ago and quit, I convinced myself that it was just because I didn't feel like playing anymore. So I started up the game, prepared to breeze through.
I am a lion. I am strong. I am...killing lizards.
Wouldn't that horn hurt me? I don't understand! I deduce that the bars on the top left and top right must be some kind of roar and health meters respectively, but the roar meter refills randomly and I don't need to have anything in it to roar. I don't get it.
MOVIE DISCREPANCY: Simba hated bugs until he left the Pridelands and ran into Timon and Pumbaa! There are bugs all over the damn place, and I just don't g--IS THAT A 1UP
I want. Must find a way to get there. I've been climbing up this whole time, maybe I just need to get up high enough and over to the right?
In my excitement, I pounce on unsuspecting hedgehogs. Why won't you just share the hedge, hedgehogs?
These explode. I don't know why. Because variety? Why can I eat the other bugs but not this one? Lion King you have some explaining to do.
Save point! Awesome! I haven't done anything worth saving though yet. Guess it can't hurt.
I see a bug I can eat! I bet that's extra points! (Does this game have points?) I wonder if I can jump up there...
Nopenopenopenopeahhhhhhhh
Thunk. Had to climb alllll the way back up. But once I got to the top...
Save point! I remember this part. Time to tumble down and fight a hyena, right?
I KNOW YOUR TRICKS HYENA. YOU CAN ONLY JUMP SO HIGH.
BOINK. TAKE THAT, HYENA.
YEAHHHHH. I'M THE BEST. ROAR.
Cute between-level pixel art! "Everything the light touches is our kingdom." I'm ready for the next level. I'm pumped. I didn't die once. I'm the best!
I like roaring! I like monkeys! And I'm digging this background music. I am confident in my abilities to best this game now.
Get out of my way, giraffes! Lion comin through!
Toooooo easy.
Roar at monkeys, right? I can do that. If I remember correctly, you're supposed to roar at all the pink ones and none of the blue ones, right?
What why are they throwing me I'm just an itty bitty lion I don't understand this put me down
Cool, guess I was right about the roaring at pink monkeys. Why only the girl monkeys, DISNEY???
Okay, riding pink ostrich. Need to jump/duck. Got it. Did this happen in the movie?
Note: taking this picture resulted in my first death.
After I went through all that AGAIN, I was certain I just needed to stop taking perfect-timing screenshots and just play and I'd get through this part no problem.
Two deaths later...
I don't understand...all I have to do is jump...why can't I jump right...
WHY DISNEY, WHY. Every one of these deaths was at the same point in the level - jumping twice over a tree and a...pink hippo, I think it is. I start to swear.
I don't know what this means. Doesn't that mean I just start the level over? They can't start me from the first level again, right?
...What.
NO. I ALREADY DID THIS.
I never got the 1up! Must have been in that tree I couldn't figure out how to climb.
Not going to lie, this is when the savestates started. I estimate that I would have had at least 3 or 4 more game overs if I had not used save states. Finally I make it past the godforsaken pink ostrich.
This is like the movie right? So I have to knock them over? ...No?
You'd think the rhinos would be more upset by this. Kitty claws in your tail?
...I fell in the water. :( I guess Simba can't swim.
See that itty-bitty splash near the rhino's leg? That's me!! This is just swinging from rhino tail to rhino tail, this should not be so difficult. I'm starting to question my intelligence.
Endless save states later, the other side gives me a 1up. Success!
I know there's a sun-thing (I guess kinda like a life?) on the other side of this tail. Can I reach it? Do I dare try?
I'M GOING FOR IT YOU GUYS
... :( Bad decision. Why'd you make me go for it.
Oh THIS is what you do! Stand on the hippo's head! Got it.
Sun acquired. Now to get out of here without dying.
WHAT NO. I thought we were done with this, video game!!!
Many, many save states later...I've lost my confidence in this game. I will never escape this level. I will be in over-saturated hell forever.
This roar is not a roar of pride. It is a roar of frustration. Of anger. I will roar at the monkeys. But I won't be happy about it.
An obtainable 1up! Note I sunk into the water multiple times getting it. I suck at this. I don't deserve to be playing this game.
I just...I don't even have the will to roar anymore. You can rest, pink monkey. I'll roar at some blue monkeys instead.
It took me this long in the game to realize roaring at blue monkeys does jack squat. I cry a little inside. I roar at everything until something unlocks and I am thrown down another giraffe. I pray no pink ostrich is at the end to deliver me.
And thus, I enter the third level! And here ends Part 1 of my kill-myself LP.
