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Being friends with someone who hurt another friend

Nihilego

[color=#95b4d4]ユービーゼロイチ パラサイト[/color]
8,875
Posts
13
Years
  • There's an old saying of "any friend of theirs is a friend of mine" so shouldn't that work the same way for the case of an enemy?

    I'd say no, because the saying itself is silly and doesn't really work in the first place.

    Wouldn't it be more acceptable to listen to a friend's drama and show your loyalty to the friendship by avoiding their enemies as well?

    Not in my view. I see this as pretty much the same thing as not being friends with someone who hurt your friend - it creates an issue between you and someone you don't know / have no problem of your own with for no real reason.
     

    Bounsweet

    Fruit Pokémon
    2,103
    Posts
    16
    Years
    • Seen Sep 17, 2018
    It really is dependent on the situation and who is involved, but I won't just be rude or mean to someone who has done me no personal harm, even if I don't really care for them or I disagree with what they did. If it was something really serious such as them getting into a physical fight with my friend or being really nasty then I won't associate with them, but that's more because I don't associate with people like that, period. If it's something more petty like them getting into a bit of a heated disagreement on something or other minor stuff then I'll still talk to both parties, because it would be pretty juvenile to pick sides.
     
    13,600
    Posts
    15
    Years
    • they/them
    • Seen Dec 11, 2023
    In the end I'll be friends with whoever I wanna be. If it was a really bad situation then I'll probably end up drifting away from the one that I didn't feel as close to. It's happened before, anyways. But I try not to get involved in other friend's problems. Like others have said it's too emotional draining and most of the time only makes things worse anyways
     
    13,131
    Posts
    19
    Years
  • I have actually tried being friends, or at least friendly, with people that others in the past have had a problem with, if not outright warned me about how "bad" they are. Sometimes it didn't work out so well, since I ended up not getting along with that person either, but most of the time it's pretty much like "whatever".

    I decided long ago that I wasn't going to let other peoples' quarrels dictate who my own friends are (and I will most likely be resentful of anybody who tries pulling that on me). Now if it's something that was really bad then I might be wary, but realistically would still give them a chance. I follow the line of "if they're decent to me, I'll be decent to them"; what's happened between them and someone else is their own thing, it's not mine.
     
    14,092
    Posts
    14
    Years
  • I've run into this issue before because I've had quite a few friends like this, where I'm the common denominator and they are both really good friends with me, but actually despise each other, and trust me, being the middle man is as awkward as it is frustrating sometimes. Best thing you can do is play the middle ground card you've been dealt and not lean towards any particular side too much.
     

    Spacy

    Visitor from beyond...
    96
    Posts
    8
    Years
  • If that person is mean to others, why should I trust him? Why should I waste my time on someone who intentionally hurts others? No, I would not.

    I agree completely, especially if the person they hurt was a friend of yours.
     
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