[Rated M] Let's Play Pokemon Red! (20th Anniversary Celebration)

Before I start, I should mention. For the longest time, I thought this kid was the trainer you played as. But looking at him a bit more, he looks a lot more like a beta version of Ash.

That shit is freaky when you really think about it.

[Current audio in-game: Route 24]

"Hello there! Welcome to the world of Pokemon! My name is Oak! People call me the Pokemon Prof.!"

... Oak's sprite makes him look like some puppet man. This should be a sign of how far back we are when it comes to spritework.



: "This world is inhabited by creatures called Pokemon! For some people, Pokemon are pets. Others use them for fights. Myself... I study Pokemon as a profession."

Hello, Pokemon we won't know about until chapters later! But yeah... I don't know what I could say to this that millions of people haven't already said.

You know, aside from the fact that I'm a goober that loves collecting pocket monsters? Oh, and that the Nidorino in that screenshot has a Nidorina cry instead.



Yeah, look at that. They're definitely a different person than what's on the title screen.

I should mention that one of the default names for our trainer of the evening was Jack. Anybody who's seen the Snakewood playthrough would understand the hilarity of that immediately. As fun it would be to rehash old names, I'd rather not.



There is a special reason for his name's existence outside of just sounding cool. (Rey is spanish for king, by the way)

: "This is my grandson. He's been your rival since you were a baby. ... Erm, what was his name again?"'

Such a considerate granddad. Hell, he'll remember our name a lot more than his grandson. That's just sad.

Anyway, as tempting as it is to name him something crude like "douche" or "prick", that shit gets annoying to read after a while even if he is a prick. I mean, just look at that cocky-ass smile.

Let's go with an actual name. Seth will do.



Don't know where Seth came from, but I'm sticking with it.



"Your very own Pokemon legend is about to unfold! A world of dreams and adventures with Pokemon awaits! Let's go!"

That sounds neat, Oak, but how do you intend on doing that? Rey is like... 14 or something.



[Current audio in-game: Pallet Town]

For the beginning of the series, these overworld segments don't look too bad, really. There's definitely worse that's been pushed onto the Game Boy.



You're not part of the cool kids club unless you have Super Metroid or Chrono Trigger on there. Rey is a cool kid.



You have to imagine. Back in 1996, there wasn't much of an internet like there is today. All Rey can really do is play Space Cadet Pinball or something.



... Yet these computers are magic and allow him to hyperspace storage shit whenever he wants.

Capturing monsters and putting them in our pockets is one thing, but this is just insane. They have this level of technology even as far back as Gen 1, which, if I'm not mistaken, are the furthest back in the series's timeline? Hell, even thinking about the other generations is pretty mind-boggling when you go back to where it all started.



: "Yo, mom. I'm gonna go capture monsters. I'll be back in a few days."

Rey's Mom: "Right. All boys leave home some day. It said so on TV. Professor Oak, next door, is waiting for you."

So his mom is just okay with him leaving? I guess we're rolling with it then. You can't stop this.



: "There's a movie on TV. Four boys are walking on railroad tracks. I better go too."

Correct me if I'm wrong, but isn't this the first time the player character legitimately speaks in the entire series outside of the Yes/No option?

I don't understand the movie reference, but I still think it's kind of neat.



Pressing start will bring up a few options: Pokemon (even though we don't have any), Bag, the works. These are apparently the eight people we have to go beat, with the final one being Edward Nygma a mysterious question mark person. Who are these people... and where did I get this card to begin with? Only one of those is a valuable question.

Currency in the Pokemon world is based off of Yen... but the symbol is shaped to be a P instead. For a frame of reference, 3000 Pokedollars is the equivalent of having 26 dollars. So for a kid, Rey is pretty goddamn rich. I can imagine him showing the bills off like he's some sort of high roller when he's really not.



"When they get strong, they can protect me!"

Ah yes, we'll get to that in a bit.



"You can now store and recall items and Pokemon as data via PC!"

You bet your ass it's incredible, champ. I like how they were a little tongue-in-cheek and brought attention to the whole "magic computer" thing.

Also, pay attention to how he said that. You can now store and recall items/Pokemon as data, which means they just started doing it. Man, this really is a voyage into the past.



Anyway, being the 14 year old we are, Rey is going to wrestle Pokemon into submission with his bare hands. You know, like how other JRPG heroes do.



In hindsight, not the best idea.



[Current audio in-game: Professor Oak]

: "It's unsafe! Wild Pokemon live in the tall grass! You need your own Pokemon for your protection. I know! Here, come with me!"

Fun fact I'm sure everybody already knows: It is possible to enter tall grass without Pokemon, either through cheats or very specific saving. If you do so, a really messed up Pigeotto attacks you and you throw out some glitchy abomination in response. In Generation 2, they fixed it by making it so that you automatically win any encounter.



Interrupting Oak's path to his lab will freeze the game, as you'll get stuck in his window. Although what possesses your character to jump through the window is something I'll never know.



[Current audio in-game: Oak's Research Lab]

Awww, here we go. Time to get some starters.



"Gramps! I'm fed up with waiting!"

: "Seth? Let me think... Oh, that's right, I told you to come! Just wait!"

I can't be the only person that thinks he's doing this on purpose just to bother Seth.

: "Here, Rey! There are 3 Pokemon here! Haha! They are inside the Poke Balls. When I was young, I was a serious Pokemon trainer. In my old age I only have 3 left, but you can have one! Choose!"

He's not joking about that "being a serious trainer" thing, either. Although it makes me wonder what he did with the other Pokemon. Did he give them away or...?

: "Hey, Gramps! What about me?"
: "Be patient! Seth, you can have one too!"



There's something about the simplistic nature of the graphics that make them appealing to me. Anyway, the starter Pokemon.





Numbers: #004 -> #005 -> #006
Type: / / (Charizard)
Base stats of final evolution:

• HP: 78
• Attack: 84
• Defense: 78
• Special: 85
• Speed: 100

Evolutions, if any: Charmeleon (Level 16) -> Charizard (Level 36)Pokedex Entries:

• Charmander: (Already displayed above)
• Charmeleon: "When it swings its burning tail, it elevates the temperature to unbearably high levels."
• Charizard: "Spits fire that is hot enough to melt boulders. Known to cause forest fires unintentionally."

Nickname I would give?: Ignell

Mmmm, look at that old Sugimori art. The Charizard family is like... They're the cool kid Pokemon and the OG of Fire types. Almost everyone back in the day had one because of the whole "omg it turns into this badass fire breathing dragon" thing (or I assume so, anyway). I still like Charizard even if people say they're overrated, but man... Early Charizard has the worst luck in the world.

Today, there's Mega Evolutions that not only make them look cooler but also make them far more efficient in battle. In Gen 1-5, though? You're at the mercy of anything that can throw a pebble. They're not that strong and 100 Speed doesn't amount to much when a simple tap can waste your "badass fire dragon". Poor guy.





Numbers: #007 -> #008 -> #009
Type:
Base stats of final evolution:

• HP: 79
• Attack: 83
• Defense: 100
• Special: 85
• Speed: 78

Evolutions, if any: Wartortle (Level 16) -> Blastoise (Level 36)
Pokedex Entries:

• Squirtle: (Already displayed above)
• Wartortle: "Often hides in water to stalk unwary prey. For swimming fast, it moves its ears to maintain balance."
• Blastoise: "A brutal Pokémon with pressurized water jets on its shell. They are used for high speed tackles."

Nickname I would give?: Cagnazzo

The Blastoise family has fared a mite better than Charizard when it comes to survivability. They're not super great but I'd still use them anyway. 100 Defense sounds pretty good, but when you realize that it's the Special stat that matters... It's not going to be pretty.

I like their designs - especially Blastoise's because of the giant fuck-off cannons growing out of their back.





Numbers: #001 -> #002 -> #003
Type: /
Base stats of final evolution:

• HP: 80
• Attack: 82
• Defense: 83
• Special: 100
• Speed: 80

Evolutions, if any: Ivysaur (Level 16) -> Venusaur (Level 32)
Pokedex Entries:

• Bulbasaur: (Already displayed above)
• Ivysaur: "When the bulb on its back grows large, it appears to lose the ability to stand on its hind legs."
• Venusaur: "The plant blooms when it is absorbing solar energy. It stays on the move to seek sunlight."

Nickname I would give?: ????

Look at that Special stat. That is absolutely perfect given what Venusaur can do. Bulbasaur is probably my favorite out of the trio to use, seeing as they have a pretty cute design (well, until Venusaur comes up, which sort of becomes a different sort of fascination) and hit pretty damn hard. Sure, they'll get slaughtered by Psychic types because being part Poison is like wearing a bulls-eye on your body in this generation, but I still love them.




Bulbasaur was actually the first Pokemon I ever chose, so it might be bias too.



Since there's no gender mechanic in this game aside from two Pokemon, let's just call you Cherry.

: ("W-wow! It's - It's nice to meet you, Rey!")



You prick. Of course he'd be smart enough to pick them one Cherry is weak to.

Well, that's settled. Let's blow this taco stand and get onto that "Pokemon Legend" thing.



[Current audio in-game: Rival Appears]

"Let's check out our Pokemon! Come on, I'll take you on!"

Wow, it hasn't even been a minute and we're already fighting. Calm down, dude.



[Current audio in-game: Trainer Battle]

I love the Trainer battle theme in Gen 1. Later games in the series don't come close to matching this one, in my opinion.



Normally this would be a bit intimidating as it's the type you're weak to, but the only moves both of you know at this point are Tackle and Scratch, so...



Bringing the Potion along guarantees your win, which is definitely necessary when you're fighting against someone like... Seth.



: ("Man, I never liked that guy. Can we go already?")

Even with the potion I nearly got totaled. Freaking critical hits...



Oh right, yeah, I should probably explain for the people who have never played this game before, seeing as the 3DS virtual console releases are out now. Attack in Generation 1 affects physical moves, Defense affects physical damage, Speed is who goes first, and Special... well, Special is busted.

Special accounts for both Special Attack and Special Defense, so Special attackers could not only wreck house but could also be super bulky. It was so hilariously broken in this game that they had to split it into two different stats in future games. The best part about it? Certain types determined what was physical and what wasn't - for example, Normal is Physical and Grass is Special.

Speed is also insanely busted as it affects critical rates!That's a disaster waiting to happen.

To sum it up - Gen 1 had a long way to go in terms of balance.



"I chose the wrong Pokemon!"

This dude is one leather jacket and haircut away from being a villain from a bad musical.

Also, .



"I'll make my Pokemon fight to toughen it up! Rey! Gramps! Smell you later!"

[Seth walks offscreen]

: "'Smell you later?'. Yeah, I'd rather not. There's too much salt in the air as it is."



Oh yeah, there's also these guys. They're surprisingly useful later on.



"Prof. Oak is the authority on Pokemon! Many Pokemon trainers hold him in high regard!"

There's like... five other people that fit this description, soon to be six with Sun & Moon. (at the time of writing)

I'll admit, Oak isn't the highest on my favorite Pokemon Professor list. That goes to either Juniper or Sycamore.



aaaaaa what's happening why is the screen going white

[Current audio in-game: Wild Pokemon Theme]

Ah, it's just a bird. The Wild Encounter theme in Gen 1 is honestly kind of spooktacular. There's something about how it's composed that makes it hella unnerving, like you're gonna fight for your life.

Anyway, onto the Pokemon analysis:



Numbers: #016 -> #017 -> #018
Type: /
Base stats of final evolution:

• HP: 83
• Attack: 80
• Defense: 75
• Special: 70
• Speed: 91

Evolutions, if any: Pidgeotto (Level 18) -> Pidgeot (Level 36)
Pokedex Entries:

• Pidgey: "A common sight in forests and woods. It flaps its wings at ground level to kick up blinding sand."
• Pidgeotto: "Very protective of its sprawling territorial area, this Pokémon will fiercely peck at any intruder."
• Pidgeot: "When hunting, it skims the surface of water at high speed to pick off unwary prey such as Magikarp."

Nickname I would give?: I dunno.

Oh my god, Pidgeot's old Sugimori art makes it look like it's mega-evolving way before that was a thing. Anyway... the Pidgeot family. The first of the "fodder bird" Pokemon. Before Pidgeot had Mega Evolution to make them really powerful, their only real purpose was to fly you around the region with ease. That is, when you finally got the Fly HM.

That aside, if you want to fill the team slots with... something for the early game, then Pidgey's your boy.



Gust in Gen 1 is a Normal move, despite the fact it should be Flying... Oh well. At least Cherry isn't dying horribly.



"It's a bit scary, but you can jump from them. You can get back to Pallet Town quicker that way."

[Current audio in-game: Route 1]

That you can. I like Route 1's theme because of the whole "you've just started" feeling.

There's another dude around here who's a Pokemart employee. He gives you a free potion if you talk to him, which is very valuable this early into the game.





Numbers: #019 -> #020
Type:
Base stats of final evolution:

• HP: 55
• Attack: 81
• Defense: 60
• Special: 50
• Speed: 97

Evolutions, if any: Raticate (Level 20)
Pokedex Entries:

• Rattata: "Bites anything when it attacks. Small and very quick, it is a common sight in many places."
• Raticate: "It uses its whiskers to maintain its balance. It apparently slows down if they are cut off."

Nickname I would give?: Zipper

Rattata is... legendary among the early game fodder Pokemon. Not because it's strong (even if Super/Hyper Fang are nasty), but because of how... perfectly generic it is. It's like the rat monster from a million other RPGs but now you can catch one yourself.

Raticate is cool, though... mostly because of the giant chompers and the name.



[Current audio in-game: Viridian City]

Viridian City is probably my third favorite city theme in the game aside from Vermillion and you-know-where.



"The battle moves of Pokemon are limited by their Power Points, PP. To replenish PP, rest your Pokemon at a Pokemon Center!"

You'd expect the sign that tells you about the town to be here, but instead we get a sign that's an incredibly obvious hint of the game's mechanics.



There's a Pokemon Center right there, but we don't need to use it right now.



Let's actually use our fat wallet to get some stuff.



: "Yeah. What's the deal?"



"His order came in. Will you take it to him?"

: "... Alright, sure."

I don't know why we're the delivery boy, but maybe Oak will give us something cool in response.



"How is my old Pokemon? Well, it seems to like you a lot. You must be talented as a Pokemon trainer!"

: "Yeah, she loves me, Prof. The mart owner in the next town over wanted me to give this to you, though."

: "What? You have something for me?"



: "Ah! This is the custom Poke Ball I ordered! Thank you!"

Custom Poke Ball? Well, alright! Let's see that shit!



Oh god damn it, Seth. Always the party pooper.



: "Oh right! I have a request for you two. On the desk there is my invention, Pokedex! It automatically records data on the Pokemon you've seen or caught! It's a high-tech encyclopedia!"

I love how he says that... yet the overworld representation of the Pokedex in this game is literally a book.

Sounds pretty neat, though. Let's have it.



"To make a complete guide on all the Pokemon in the world... That was my dream! But, I'm too old! I can't do it! So, I want you two to fulfill my dream for me! Get moving, you two! This is a great undertaking in Pokemon history!"

Ah yes, we're expected to record all the Pokemon in the game... Not. I don't think I've ever completed the Pokedex, and I'm definitely not starting now.

: "Alright, Gramps! Leave it all to me! Rey, I hate to say it, but I don't need you! I know! I'll borrow a Town Map from my sis! I'll tell her not to lend you one, Rey! Hahaha!"

[He walks off]



: ("Wow, what did we do to him?! Is he always like this?")

: "Oh, you have no idea, babe..."

Aaand that's the end of chapter 1! See you next time for more Pokemon.

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Team setup:

(Cherry, , Level 6, /) - Still steaming