[Pokémon] Pokemon Luna (E10+, depending.)

Pokemon Luna

Okay, now for a quick intro:
This FanFiction takes place in Morea, a mixture of the Hoenn and Kanto regions(But not in name). This is the first bit of the story.

Prolouge

So what if my father has a leading place with the rank of Colonel in the Akira Region Marine Corps? Maria thought quietly to herself as she sat next to her first pokemon, and Eevee, which she had only
gotten a few days before. By law she was old enough to be a Pokemon Trainer, but she wasn't sure if she
wanted to. The one thing she loved to do was study Pokemon. But also by law, every child had to have at least
one year of pokemon training experience. She hated the idea of making Pokemon fight.

"Maria!" Her mom called, "MARIA?"

Maria quickly put away a picture album that had only two pictures in it, one of her on her 11th birthday, and one of her and her best friend Akira. Akira had gone missing only a month before he could have gotten his pokemon legally. Everyone suspected Team Luna, the main reason the Akira Region even had a standing military. They were infamous for their crimes and leaders. The last leader, however had been Akira's father. Akira, however did not admit to this, because he felt it was a disgrace.

Maria ran down the stairs to her mom, her Eevee following closely behind, but cautiously. Maria turned corners around the different halls in the house searching for her mother. Maria was about to round a corner as Eevee bit at the cuff of her pants and pulled her back.

"Eevee!" Maria exclaimed.

"You hear that?" A voice said from around the corner.

"Hear what?"

"I thought I heard the girl. I guess I was just hearing things."

"Oh well,"Said the second voice," What are we gonna do with her mom?"

"How should I know you...ugh, nevermind." The first man grumbled,"I'm just following orders. But we need to get her, tonight."

Maria backed up slowly and returned to her room and grabbed Akira's old bag that he had given her a week before he dissapeared. She quietly packed a potion and her notebook to log about where she went. She grabbed Eevee's pokeball, but Eevee was insistant on staying out. Maria remembered how she would most certainly walked into the danger of the men in the dining room if Eevee hadn't been there.

Maria tip-toed around the house to the drawing room where her father kept his Pokemon. She looked over his vast collection and wondered which ones she should save. Three from the third row from places marked Cresslia, Mew, and Deoxys were already gone. She knew those were what her father usually took with him in a crisis. She figured he was safe, at least for the most part. She tore through drawers for a picture of Akira she had hidden. She found it and put it in her pants pocket to keep it safe.

She slowly backed up to the back door and ran out. She ran and ran until she couldn't breathe. She ran all the way into the Blumberg forest. Eevee slowly walked up to her, with a note that was from Akira. Maria slowly took the note from Akira. On the outside it said: To Maria.

Maria, Akira had wrote, I hope this letter finds you well. I am writing from a far off place. I am with my father, but he's not as..

After that the paper was ripped. Maria vowed to herself that she would find the people who had taken her mother. But first she decided to find Akira. Maria knew if she could find Akira, he would certainly help.

hmm... I want to see where this story is leading, especially why his father has three legendary pokemon with him. Nice story, though, I saw some minor mistakes.

"Maria!" Her mom called, "MARIA?"

It should be "Maria!" Her mom called. "MARIA?" yes, dots are important.

Maria turned corners around the different halls in the house searching for her mother.

It should be Maria, searching for her mother, turned corners around the different halls in the house.

"Oh well,"Said the second voice," What are we gonna do with her mom?"

It should have been better with "Oh well," said the second voice. "What are we gonna do with her mom?"

or, if you can, replace said with other verbs like whispered since this two are (correct me) probably doing covert operations. So I think whisper could be more accurate.

The first man grumbled,"I'm just following orders.

Same mistake. The comma. That should have been a dot. And, of course, a space after it.

Maria backed up slowly and returned to her room and grabbed Akira's old bag that he had given her a week before he dissapeared.

I think Maria has a very unusual reaction. If your mom's been kidnapped by two strange men in your house, why would you go up and get ready to go. It would have been nicer if

After hearing the man's words, she froze in fear. She stood there, rooted to the spot, until Eevee nearly tore her jeans. It was only when Maria had the sense to scurry back to her room and escape.

or something along those lines.

Maria tip-toed around the house to the drawing room where her father kept his Pokemon....She tore through drawers for a picture of Akira she had hidden. She found it and put it in her pants pocket to keep it safe.

I think this is a little unclear. Why would her father have a picture of Akira in his drawer?

Another question: What happened to her mother?


That's all, I think, and several spelling errors, though you can figure it out yourself. And I think, you have done this in a haste. Over all, I can't wait what happened to Akira and the rest. =)

Thanks! Sometimes I can't fix my own mistakes and spell check doesn't help too much.

As for her mother I was trying to imply Team Luna had kidnapped her(But that might not be it.;) ). As for the picture of Akira, Maria had hidden it herself.

Sometimes I just kinda forget to put in the details. The first chapter WILL be better. lol

And with the quotations, that's the way I learned how to do it, but thanks for the correction. If anything else is unclear, just let me know and I'll try to work out the kinks.

And I will remember to take my time on the 1st chapter too. :)
(I've already Started it!)

CHAPTER 1

Chp 1
Maria stood in the forest, surrounded by darkness. Pokemon rustled in the moon light and not too far off, she could see Eevee playing with a Spearow and a Rattata. Maria looked at the clearing in front of her. It was wide open, and she could see everything. She thought about going to see Prof. Willow, one of her fathers friends, but she soon realised it would probably be too dangerous, considering whoever had taken her mom was probably following her. "They had said something about me," Maria whispered to herself,"They wanted me, but, why?"



That, however, was the least of Maria's worries at the moment. She looked in the direction of her house, where she saw an emotionally disturbing sight. A pokemon had used the move "Lunar Beam" which was only used by Team Luna. Team Luna had kidnapped her mother. Anger flushed through her body as she turned around and punched an oak tree until her knuckles bled. She had been right about what happened, which made her even more upset. Anyone who went into Team Luna's clutches very rarely made it out alive. She had to find Akira, or...



"Jonathan!" She exlaimed quietly, "Eevee, we have to go find Jonathan!"



Jonathan was another of Maria's childhood friends, who also happened to know much about Team Luna's whereabouts. He was usually looking for that kind of thing. Maria was surprised that he hadn't called her to see if she was alright. Maria pulled out her PokeNav and put in Jonathan's number.


It rang twice and Maria thought, Please pick up. Come on, pick up!


Ring-Ring....Ring-Ring....


With each ring the tension grew.


Ring-Ring.....Ring-Ring....


Maria held her breath.


Ring-Ri.....



"Hello?" Jonathan's voice broke the silence, and comforted Maria.


"Jonathan!" She whispered anxiously, "Thank God!"


"M...Maria? I saw what happened! The Lunar Beam!" Then he trailed off.


"Yes, I know. I... I saw it too." Maria said, trying not to choke up, "Can you meet me at the big oak tree in the forest in twenty minutes?"


"Ummm.... Y.. yeah, I guess." Jonathan stuttered.


"Okay, good. I need you to come with me to Blumberg City to do something."


"Maria, it might take a little longer than that."


"Why?"


"I've got to go. I'll be there as soon as possible."


Then he hung up. Maria leaned back against the tree and Eevee ran up next to her. She looked at Eevee and saw the reflection of Jonathan's face in her eyes. Maria quickly flipped around and saw Jonathan and his Ralts standing right behind her.


"How did you get here so fast?" Maria quizzed.


"I was at Prof. Willow's lab. It's not that far." Jonathan laughed nerously as he turned around and looked at the four trees in a row, "The tree you are currently leaning on was planted as a homage to Prof. Samuel Oak as a homage to his contributions to the science of Pokemon."


"So do the elm, birch and rowan trees for their respective Professors." Maria sighed, feeling bad, "Technically I punched Professor Oak then."


Maria gave a shallow laugh, and looked at Jonathan. He just looked at her like she was crazy, and so did his Ralts, not understanding what was so funny.


"Technically, " He said, "I'm talking to a dead person."


"Not funny." Maria said, unamused.


Jonathan looked at her almost as if she had no sense of humor and said. "Look, Professor Willow wants you. That's the other reason I was here so fast. I was looking for you to begin with!"


"Fine, let's go." Maria sighed, "Come on Eevee."


Jonathan looked at Maria. She was holding herself well, he could tell, but she wasn't okay. Whe would break down eventually. But the plan was set. First to Professor Willow's lab, then to Blumberg City.


Then Maria looked at Jonathan and asked, "What do you know about who they are and where they went?"


Jonathan looked at her, and replied, "I don't know... I just don't know."


…..................................................................................................................................................................


"Quickly, quickly, come in and close the door." Professor Willow's weak, far-off voice rang out from her lab.


Jonathan quickly closed the door. Eevee and Ralts looked at each other and then at their trainers waitng for instructions. Jonathan looked at Ralts, and led Maria to the lab room.


"Maria, Jonathan." Professor Willow nodded at them, "We have a big problem."


"Obviously!" Maria yelled, "My mom got kidnapped, and I don't know where the heck my father is!"


"Shhh! Keep it down! Team Luna passed by here only a couple of minutes ago!" Professor Willow pleaded, "They might still have scouts in the area looking for you!"


"So what if they do?" Maria yelled enraged.


"Maria," Jonathan whispered in a calming voice. "Calm down. You aren't just endangering yourself, we're with you. You'll endanger us as well."


Maria sat down suddenly and looked down. She turned to look at Professor Willow.


"Sorry. This is all just going fast. I just had to run for my life from Team Luna or whoever that was."


"It's fine. That's a totally expected reaction." Professor Willow said, trying to console her, "But revenge isn't necessarily the way to go."


Jonathan looked into Maria's eyes and said, "Maria, I'll help if that's what you decide to do. I want to find Akira anyway. But you have to calm down, you have a very quick temper."


Maria re-adjusted her glasses and took off her headband to fix her hair, which always got in her face. She looked at Jonathan and then at Professor Willow again, and then looked down. Eevee jumped on Maria's lap to try and comfort her, but Maria just ignored her.


"Look Maria, you and Jonathan can stay here tonight if you want, but I still discourage any kind of revenge." Professor Willow sighed.


"Revenge is my thing," Maria muttered, "It'll happen at some point."


The radio station Professor Willow had the radio tuned to suddenly bursted with a news announcement.


"Team Luna, also known as Team Lunaris is suspected in the kidnapping of Col. Max Fighter's wife and daughter. The Colonel has also dissapeared under mysterious circumstances. The group, Team Luna, is also infamous for previous kidnappings of important families."


Then static came on the radio, and a voice different for the first announcers rang out.


"Alright, you little brat," It said. "We know you got away this time, but you won't be so lucky. We are following you and have caught onto your trail. We know exactly where you are. We will get you, and when we find you, there will be no mercy."


Professor Willow looked at Maria and gave her an almost mother-like look.


"Well, whatever you decide to do, you are NOT leaving this building tonight. I want you two in broad daylight if you go ANYWHERE."
…..................................................................................................................................................................


Maria looked out of the window of the room she was sharing with Jonathan that night. The moon was wrapped with the clouds, it's reflected light making the whole sky look like a haze. Murkow were flying across the sky in flocks, on the hunt for berries and bugs. She could hear the Hoothoots, and started counting their hoots, hoping it wouldn't get up to ten.

"One, two, three, four," She counted to herself, "Five, six, seven, eight, nine......ten."

Ten hoots was a bad omen, and Maria wondered why she had even decided to count them at all. She would have preferred not to think something bad would happen. A loud snore from Jonathan's side of the room broke the silence, and he jolted awake.

"What? Oh, hi Maria," He yawned. "What are you doing?"

"Nothing." She sighed. "What is supposed to happen if you hear ten Hoothoots?"

"Death, or danger," Jonathan snored before falling asleep once more.

"Well, That's a nice thought to sleep on." Maria whispered sarcastically to herself before she too closed her eyes and quickly fell into sleep.

Oh my god, guys.

I am so, so sorry for this piece of awful.... Oh God.

I am now logging out, and never logging back in.

/dead