[Pokémon] Pokemon Warp - Kanto Saga

Well... It was translated version of my Pokemon Warp - Kanto Saga into the English. I wrote it on Polish. And I think. That this story you also like, as my friends in Poland.... Plot is consist about sending me from Reality to the Pokemon World by Unknown Pokemon which i try find and obtain them to give them command to send me back to Real World. So... Let's go!

This day was been ordinary day in my hometown Felicjanów... My name is Bartek. I have 20 years old. And still I'm the big pokemon fan ever. That one day when mysterious things going to happened. I'm going back from the work, little tired and by my own legs, since brother which I working with him in that same place have fever, and do not come this day to work. During my way i turned on 3DS and by Music Player I start listen some music. Something was going to be strange... Something black crossed my way.
- What the heck?
I asked... That thing comming out from bushes. I'm shocked when I've noticed. That was an young Zorua which holding something in their mouth.
- WHAT? POKEMON? Damm... I'm dreamin or I've crazy. What are you doing here Zorua?
After that question they run. I start chasing them.
- WAIT! With you I can prove. That Pokemon really exist! Wait here Zorua!
We entered to one of the lost buildings. In there Zorua coming to the empty room without chance to escape.
- Finnaly. Don't be scared. I've don't hurt you. I want be your friend. With you. I can show other people that better world was exist.
Suddenly. The three Zoroarks appeared.
- Damit! Please! Don't hurt me! I've don't do anything to your friend!
- Shut up Human! You've chosen to be the hero of one pokemon. I don't care that you want it or not. You go with us.
- Chosed? But by who?
- This is part of your quest human. Find it yourself which Pokemon send us for you. Now... You go with us.
I try to escape. But without any succes. That Zoroarks take me to the other room where portal was opened.
- Holly crap. I've never realized that Pokemon Dimension can exist.
- Well... This world is bad to live for us. Now go. And don't make us angry.
- Ok... As I don't have any choise.
And I take step closer to this portal entering into them. When I going throught light tunnel. I've seen various lights like in caleidoscope. After all. I've falled from sky to the ground and I fainted. Some time later young girl come to me trying to wake me up.
- Come on. Please. Wake up mister... Please... I'm worry about you!
I open slowly my eyes.
- Where I am?
- Welcome in Pallet Town. My name is Yellow. I've seen that you fall from the sky. A couple of Voltorbs blast you so far?
After I heard Pallet Town I stand up quickly.
- WHAT? PALLET TOWN? Dammit! This is not dream. I'm really wraped to Pokemon World...
- Are you feel allright?
- Yes... Sorry Yellow. My name is Bartek. Please. You must trust me. I come from another Dimension. I know that is hard to understand by you. But if you want I can show you my identify card.
- Another Dimension? Well... It was kinda funny to heard that. Well... Let's go to Proffesor Samuel Oak. He should help you more than me.
- Yes... Better ask him. I hope he can told me which pokemon want me in that world.
When we start walking toward Proffesor Oak lab. Zorua which attached me in the Real World followed to that sam place like me. After long time we reach Proffesor Oak Lab. After we entered here, Oak welcomed us.
- Nice to seen you. Welcome in Pokemon World Bartek. Nice to meet you Yellow. For what both you come?
- Well... From where you know me Proffesor? I'm new here.
Oak smiles after my question.
- You remember that Zorua in your world? It told me anything. So sad. That I can't help you with figured which one Pokemon chose you. But I can help you with giving you Pokedex, Pokeballs and that one Zorua which brought you here.
- What? I've got that Zorua... Ok. I played a lot of times into Pokemon Games. So I'm sure that I can take that challenge. Ok... When I'm must find that Pokemon alone, it's time to take all things in my own hands. I take all gifts from you Proffesor.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~TO BE CONTINUED~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

- What's about me? - Asked Yellow.
- Oh yeah... I forgot... Please... I have only one pokemon left for you. This young charmander... Please. Take it.
After Yellow obtained pokemon, pokedex and Pokeballs. She yells to me.
- Can I go with you Bartek? I think that when two young trainers like going on advanture. We can do great things. Also I can help you with finding Pokemon which send you here.
- Nice to heard it Yellow. Sure. I agree... We can come both... Kanto is one of regions where my knowledge is not complete. So help from Kanto Trainer can be helpfully.
When we get out from Lab... At that same time one strange guy looking for us from the bushes using Binoculars.
- Great... Human from other world... Our boss should know about him.
That man Yells... He wearing red garniture... which means. That he was an member of Team Flare... But what they really want from the human from other dimension? It was currently unknown. Comming back to our heroes. When they entered to Route 1. I take my Zorua and look in their eyes.
- Why you can't told me anything. Seraching for that one legendary Pokemon who send me here can be horrible long and even impossible.
- Don't be sad Bartek. - Repield Zorua - I know you can find them... In other words. You have kind of destiny here.
- Destiny? Me? This world have a lot of trainers. WHY ME?
- Please... Bartek. Don't be angry - Said Yellow - It must be spoked in myth of one region about human from other Dimension... But by the way. What's your world looked at all?
- My world is litelary that same like this one. But in my world. Pokemons do not exist. Humans and Animals was living in the one world which our kid devastating.
- That was horrible.
- I know Yellow... Meybe that Pokemon want take me from corrupting world to the better one? But still i need to know which one... Kanto... Kanto... Wait! I know... There is five legends. As I remember it was Articuno, Zapods, Moltres, Mewtwo and Mew.
- Yes... They are... But what is your plan?
- I need to meet them. But i know that with same Zorua my chance to survive battle with them is nothing. So. I going to catch some pokemons.
At this time. Young Pidgey come out from the grass...
- Wait Yellow... I going to get him... Flying pokemon is important in the team. Zorua. Are you Ready?
- Yes. Whatever you command Bartek.
- OK! ZORUA! TACKLE! TRY TO HIT THAT PIDGEY!
Zorua start running toward Pidgey and hit them by tackle... Pokemon in reverse using growl to lower enemy attack.
- Ok... So you want weak my Pokemon Pidgey? I don't allow you to do that. ZORUA! TACKLE! AGAIN!
Pokemon do my command... When he did it. I take one of my Pokeballs...
- LET'S DO IT!
I throw it towards weakened pokemon. First, Secound. And with great boom. Pokeball blasts off.
- Damm... It was so close... But I don't forfiet Pidgey! Zorua! Tackle!
Pokemon attack again the Pidgey.
- So. This time you've be my Pokemon!
I threw another Pokeball... First, Secound, Third. And the red dot dissapeared.
- GREAT! Pidgey! Welcome to my team.
- Nice... And thank you for showing me how to catch Pokemon. - Said with smile Yellow.
- Oh... Sorry. I forget... But now you know how to do it to get pokemon... Well... Better I go with Pidgey to Pokemon Center... He was weak now... But later. When I have strong will to train them into the Pidegot. He become very strong bird Pokemon.
- Don't forget about healing me - Said Zorua.
- Sure. I don't forget. We are friends. I hope that you and Pidgey become great partners in the battle.
- I know they are be great. Well... I want catch my first Pokemon in the Viridian forest. Since I knew that there live Pikachu's.
- Pikachus? Well... I don't like pikachu at All... But i know. That Weedle can be good team member. Since Beedrill is very great pokemon.

Hi.

I'm not going to do grammatical touch-ups here because there would be a lot to do. Granted, it's better than I could probably do in Spanish but it's pretty clear your not a native English writer. For now I can offer stylistic advice.

"If you must keep things dialogue centric, it would help to default to the English convention of having separate speaker's dialogue in quotation marks, often with a helpful note at the start or end to note who's talking," Rediamond demonstrated.

"Then you should hit enter twice between paragraphs. Here a citation isn't needed because it's objectively obvious who's speaking."

With that said, I would add non-dialogue sentences here and there to keep track of what's going on. Even without grammatical errors I have a feeling that this story would be confusing to get through because things move quickly and without much warning or explanation. For instance, I didn't even get that the main character had caught the Zoroak until it was casually mentioned as being his. It also lets character be established, a world set up, and just slows things down to show off your style and give readers some time to take things in. For instance, I know absolutely nothing about how Pallet Town looked. It could've been a mega-city or a town with one home for all I know. Slow down. Add non-dialogue. Describe things. You can do a primarily dialogue-centric story (referred to as 'script fics' in some communities), but those are actually really hard to pull off well and I wouldn't recommend doing one in a second language at all.

Overall, a human being transported into the Pokemon world isn't quite original, but I'll give you the benefit of the doubt for now and see where you're going.