Is sex important?

Society places a lot of value in the act of sex, but how important is it really? Does it really mean anything? How do you feel about the concepts of "waiting for marriage" or "saving yourself for someone special"?

In recent years I'm not so sure about that. Sex used to be something special, but in recent years (as long as I can remember) we've been leaning towards sex not actually being that big of a deal and that we shouldn't worry so much about it, unless it's rape.

I had always thought that my first time would be special and that I should wait for marriage. Hormones got the best of me and I went ahead and did it, and it ended up not even being that big of a thing. So I don't know really, if I could go back and change it I would wait for someone truly special and hope that I see things different, but looking at it now sex isn't all that great.

If we are talking about sex as a human ability, then yes, since you need to procreate, like the cavemans did. But sex as a social norm, not really. Who cares if you're a 40 year old virgin, or a 15 year old sexually active teen, unless you are either a closed-minded individual or a part of the older generation.

As long as you got the attitude I love, doesn't matter if the genitals ever got touched by another.

I guess it depends on your age, and your upbringing. As you get older, sex isn't quite the badge of universal achievement it is when you're younger. At least, when I was in school/college people would flaunt their apparent sexual exploits; it was a way of determining social standing more than anything else, even if it was completely fictitious most of the time. The concept of "TMI" shifts a bit when you get older, and sex isn't really that interesting or that big of a deal, unless you're in a small social circle of close friends who like to gossip about these things. But that's completely different to the overboasting of a hormone-driven teenage group of friends...at least, in most cases it is =P

That said, I think the concept of "saving yourself" is one that has some merit, be it for marriage or that special someone or whatever because, like everything else in life, you're only going to get one chance to have a good/memorable first time, and it's only natural to want it to be a positive and memorable experience. Why not wait until you're absolutely sure? I guess it's a balance of wanting to satisfy curiosity and wanting to do it when it feels "right", whatever that means for you.

Personally, I'd be in the category of waiting for the right moment or right person to come along, because it would take someone very special indeed to get past my general aversion to physical contact and emotional attachment. Needless to say, I'd have issues with it, and it's not something I'd enjoy as a casual activity with the first person who comes along who is passing compatible with me. But that's just me. Really, I think it's a case of whatever works for you, as long as you're of legal age.

arachnidsGrip said:

If we are talking about sex as a human ability, then yes, since you need to procreate, like the cavemans did. But sex as a social norm, not really. Who cares if you're a 40 year old virgin, or a 15 year old sexually active teen, unless you are either a closed-minded individual or a part of the older generation.

As long as you got the attitude I love, doesn't matter if the genitals ever got touched by another.

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There's part of me that agrees with you, but then there's the part of me that says that them being inexperienced would be better and preferable. Which is why I hate myself, because I would love to have the opportunity to crawl in bed with my wife some day and have the both of us be just as clueless as the other and have that deep connection that you share at that level and the confusion and hilarity that would ensue at you both fumbling around trying to get it together.

Sonata said:

There's part of me that agrees with you, but then there's the part of me that says that them being inexperienced would be better and preferable. Which is why I hate myself, because I would love to have the opportunity to crawl in bed with my wife some day and have the both of us be just as clueless as the other and have that deep connection that you share at that level and the confusion and hilarity that would ensue at you both fumbling around trying to get it together.

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touche

i guess it would suck when your significant other says "Come on, are you even trying?"

Hmm. Sex is sex, really. Its importance to the individual weighs solely on how much relevance one gives it. If you don't care for sex and sex related topics, then that's your thing. If you want to get Miss Jackson-level nasty, then that's your thing too. Sex and all it encompasses differs with each person and how they choose to gauge its importance differs with each of them as well.

But on a Big Wide World view, sex is just as important as ever. There's just no denying that. It's everywhere, in ways that Victorians would rather die than hear about. Sex permeates our societies, our cultures, on every level. An individual may not care for sex, but the majority most certainly does.

The societal importance of sex is interesting to think about when you think the social backlash of sex scandals and the like. Think back to the Lewinsky affair, the Profumo scandal, even Paris Hilton's sex tape. Two of these scandals brought down governments, the other firmly entered pop culture and created a career. Think about Kim Kardashian - her leaked sex tape has gained the revulsion of millions, but the woman is now rolling in money inconceivable to her before the tape leaked.
The saying is true: sex sells. Whether or not the sex that's being sold is healthy or not, it'll sell. The porn industry alone is proof of this. There will always be at least one customer willing to sign over their bank account for the chance to indulge in the most outlandish, revolting and perverted fetish you can imagine.

The relevance of sex will never falter.

Coming from an asexual point of view, I don't think it is. Sex shouldn't define how much you love a person. Sure, it can be apart of how much you love them. I just don't think it's something that needs to be done for the sake of doing it. To me, it doesn't really mean that much. However, I'm asexual... so my opinion probably doesn't matter as much as what someone else will probably say.

I think whether sex is important or not is a totally individual thing. Sex is just one of those things that means something different to everyone based on a huge combination of factors such as religiousness, upbringing, age, personality, life experiences etc. There is a societal lean towards the "no big deal" and even "you must get laid now" these days, but I think that we should try to distance ourselves from that and just do what is right with us.

For me personally, I look forward to the day I can take my girlfriend to bed but it certainly isn't the focal point of my feelings. Honestly, sex is something I want but it isn't particularly important to me either. I don't care about saving oneself, I don't advocate sleeping around either. It will happens when it happens. Sooner, later or never all are fine with me so long as the relationship stays in tact. My SO on the other hand definitely wants to wait until she feels ready to do so, which is totally okay with me.

Like I said, this is an individual thing and I think it is important to do what is right for you personally than to follow some over-arching societal view or ethical code.

In my mind no its not really important i mean its important in that we reproduce (although we could cut down on that in some countries) its not that important unless you care a lot about what people think. "Like omg im 17 and ive had sex" good for u i guess but haha i dont really care so basically it depends how much you care what others think which really sometimes if you dont care they wont care :p. Also sex really shouldnt be important in your love life although its an aspect of it it should never influence how much you love a person.

it totally depends on how much you value it. if you want to wait until you find The Right Person, good on you. if you want to lose your virginity young to whoever happens to appear first, that's fine too. it varies person to person.

The importance is up to you ultimately.

Sex is so bleh to me so I'd say it's unimportant to me. My friend can't go like... a week without it though.

of course sex is important in terms of making sure your specsies survives, but in personal terms I guess how important sex is depends on the person, as for example if you were a nun sec obviously wouldn't be very important to you, but if you wanted to lower your taxes it would be.

I think saving yourself is a bad idea though and sort of an outdated thing, because even though it would be nice if it was the first time for both of you, that is kind of a novelty that only happens once + some people just aren't sexually compatible and that would suck

As an asexual, my first reply to this thread is "no".

Upon further investigation, I have confirmed that my answer to "Is sex important?" is still a no. Sex seems to be really important due to how much money and advertisement goes into it, but it's literally an act that lasts about 30 minutes if foreplay is involved and roughly 15 minutes during the actual intercourse itself on a good day. It takes a lot of physical exertion and you probably won't remember 80% of it when it's over. That's really just the raw truth about it, calculable numbers and all.

Now as far as how important it actually is obviously depends on the person, so I'll go from my perspective. To me sex is a way to get closer to people, as close friends and even as partners if that is the case. You don't have to be romantically engaged to have sex and I feel that it's perfectly acceptable to have casual sex. For me personally sex is never casual, as it's only done when I wish to be closer to the individual and I already care for them deeply. While I encourage people to engage in the act as much as they desire to (granted it's safe), I see it as being a very intimate and personal thing when I take part in it. This doesn't mean I deem sex as important or vital, but I do enjoy the time spent with the person and the closeness involved.

If you want to wait for marriage or save yourself, I am all for it. The concepts are not odd to me because sex means different things to different people and not everybody can be impersonal about it. Just don't be one of those individuals who thinks they're better than others cause they "waited" or whatever; because then I can't approve of your decision. Sex is a lame bragging right in the first place-- like congrats, you did or didn't use your gear the way it was intended to be used? I guess??

Not really, you can still have a really good romantic relationship unless someone is sexually deprived of course.

I think it depends on your world view more than anything else. If you view the human race as just another animal species aiming to further itself then sex is THE most important thing in the world. It's the whole point. But the further you get away from the animalistic into the civilised, the less important it becomes.

If we're getting real deep, it comes down to legacy. The animalistic see their legacy as their offspring. The civilised can also see their legacy as their offspring but are capable of seeing it in other things. Art, impact on humanity, just to name a couple.

To me, sex isn't all that important at all. It's fun and I love it and I have no plans to stop doing it as often as I can, but in terms of "importance" it doesn't rate very high.

As for waiting for someone special, I think that's great if that's the way you value sex - as a romantic notion rather than a chemical act. That depends on the person and it's their choice. Waiting for marriage, however, is an archaic religious conditioning that can easily be stamped out.

Not really. I think loving someone you really care about is what really matters. Sex may or may not be a small part of that love. I, like many other virgins, would like to experience it, even more badly than others, but in the back of our minds we know what is really important.

Sex is important and should be studied.

Since most humans desire to have sex and/or relationships, discussing sex-related topics within the context of individual happiness is vital.

Sex can be the root of dysfunction, trauma, anxiety,good health, pleasure, relationship dynamics, unwanted pregnancy, contracting disease/illness, stress reducing, among other conflicting "good" and "bad" consequences.

Historically, sex has shaped civil rights movements, conflicts, cultural wars, economics, health policy, among other institutions at a local and global level. Moreover, sex is motivates the inherent human desire to furthering one's social superiority whether it is physical appearance or appearance of weath (why we may choose to buy that sportscar).

The Dark Avenger said:

Sex is important and should be studied.

Since most humans desire to have sex and/or relationships, discussing sex-related topics within the context of individual happiness is vital.

Sex can be the root of dysfunction, trauma, anxiety,good health, pleasure, relationship dynamics, unwanted pregnancy, contracting disease/illness, stress reducing, among other conflicting "good" and "bad" consequences.

Historically, sex has shaped civil rights movements, conflicts, cultural wars, economics, health policy, among other institutions at a local and global level. Moreover, sex is motivates the inherent human desire to furthering one's social superiority whether it is physical appearance or appearance of weath (why we may choose to buy that sportscar).

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That's an interesting standpoint to look at it from, it doesn't change my views but from that angle it is hard to argue with you.