[Pokémon] Pokemon: The Story You Never Knew

A person lies unconscious on an island's beach. He was wearing gray pants, white shirt and sea-green jacket. He wakes up unable to remember his past,not even his own name. He looks around the island and hears voices from far away. He finds two pokeballs strapped to his belt. He takes out the two pokeballs and brings out the pokémon inside them. The pokémon's were a Growlithe and a Lapras. The person's mind starts to hurt and he starts to remember something. He sees an old man giving him a Growlithe and also he sees himself catching a Lapras. He realizes they both are his pokémon and puts them back in their pokeballs. He gets up and sees volcanoes on the island and water everywhere. Then he heads towards the voices in attempt to find out anything about himself. He tries to ask people but they reply him that they have never seen him before on Cinnabar Island (the island he was on). His attempts to find something about himself had failed but then an old man came to him and said "Hey kid if you had landed on the beach it means you could have had drifted here from the north as yesterday there was a storm on the route to Pallet Town. Maybe you could have come here from Pallet Town. Try asking there, you could either come with me on my boat or go by yourself if you have a water pokémon." The boy then started his journey to Pallet Town on his Lapras and mid-way started to see glimpses of his past. He saw himself playing with a boy who also had a pokémon with him. Upon arriving in Pallet Town he saw a person trying to catch a pokémon, Bulbasaur but it ran away. The person was wearing blue pants, white shirt with red jacket and a red cap rotated backwards. The person who was trying to catch the Bulbasaur when saw the other boy started shouting "Grey. Hey Grey, where were you? We were so worried for you." Grey (yet unaware of his identity) got startled and surprised because of the person's sudden approach unto him attacked the other person with his Growlithe. The other person sent out a Poliwhirl and said "Hey! It's me Red." But Grey did not stop.

Grey started off with Growlithe using Headbutt while Red made Poliwhirl use Water Gun. The battle ended with a victory for Red and Grey collapsed, remembering that the kid with the pokémon with whom he used to play with was Red.

Red said "Hey it's me Red, what's happened to you, Grey". Grey replied "Yeah, I remember you know Red. My memory I all wiped. I didn't even remember my name before you told me". Red said "Whoa, what in the world happened to you! OK, let me take you to your home and be sure to meet Professor Oak." Grey nodded in approval and went to his home with Red and Red left him to find the other pokémon in Viridian City. Grey united with his parents, regaining his memories with his parents a little. After his reunion Grey went to Professor Oak's lab. Professor Oak was happy to see Grey as Grey was one of those trainers to whom he had given their starter pokémon. Prof.Oak gave Grey him a Pokedex and registered him in the Indigo League. Then Professor Oak was told by Grey that Red had went off to Viridian City, so Prof.Oak went off to get Red. Grey went to his home to pack his things and bid farewell to his parents for his journey. He got his things and traveled to reach Viridian City, where he found out that the gym was closed and the gym was the 8th in line of the Kanto gyms.


After his previous disappointment at knowing that Viridian City Gym was 8th in line of gyms, he with renewed confidence and determination set out towards Viridian Forest. After entering Viridian Forest he saw a boy with a Charmander who was battling a Kangaskhan.

He was wearing a black T-Shirt, purple pants and had brown hair. At the moment the boy saw Grey he became forgot about his battle and wasn't able to give any command to Charmander and so the Kangaskhan fled away. The boy was angry and so began to attack Grey.

"???" started with commanding Charmander to use Scratch.

The fire glowing at the back of Charmander's tail grew as Charmander advanced forward.

Grey seeing no hesitation from the other side he moved out of the way and sent out Lapras.

Charmander backed up and went to his trainer waiting for the next command.

'???' commanded use "Ember" and then Charmander threw fire from his mouth while to get rid of "Ember", Grey said to Lapras "Use Water Pulse".

The fire died and '???' gritted his teeth. Grey gave him no chance to act and said Lapras to use 'Water Pulse' ending the battle. Charmander had fainted.


After that Grey ran towards '???' and demanded him to tell who was he. The person then told he was Blue Oak and they both were friends. There was sudden silence then and Grey fainted. He was unconscious and he saw a boy watching Red and Grey playing together when they were younger. When Grey saw Blue, he invited Blue to play with them but he just walked away.

Then after this fragment of his memory he received parts of his memory which contained his life with Red, Prof.Oak, Blue and His parents and Pokémon. Besides these memories he saw some people wearing black clothes and had an R initial on it in Pallet Town.

He saw them trying to find a pokémon which they called 'The Phantom Pokémon'. When he heard they wanted that Pokémon to take over Kanto. Grey became enraged and attacked him, however his Pokémon were not that strong and lost. After that he was tossed in the sea and he landed on a small raft where he bumped his head, causing him to lose his memory.

Grey woke up finding himself in the Pokémon Centre. When he asked Nurse Joy for how long he was unconscious, she replied that he was there was unconscious for the whole day. Grey was still exhausted and needed some more rest so he went back to sleep with a clear aim which was to stop that certain organization.

I would really like everyone's opinion on my fanfiction please. ThankYou

A good start however I think that you should space things out a bit more as well as give a few flashbacks when he gets part of his memory back as everything seemed all over the place.

eonoflegend said:

A good start however I think that you should space things out a bit more as well as give a few flashbacks when he gets part of his memory back as everything seemed all over the place.

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Thanks for sharing your opinion Eonoflegend. Regarding your opinion in the next chapter I was going to return almost most of his memory, after that he will travel further. And also could you vote on the poll, i was really looking forward to see if people appreciated my idea. Thanks

I just did it was a good idea.

eonoflegend said:

I just did it was a good idea.

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Thanks

Hi there! It's always great to see new writers here. =) I thought I would drop by to give out some advice! I apologize in advance if all of this is overwhelming, but I'll try my best to be as straightforward as possible.

First off, your story could benefit more with the chapter broken down into several paragraphs. It's hard to keep up what's going on. For instance, the beginning scene could be broken down like this (under spoilers tag)-



My version of the paragraphs could still use more work, but noticed how much more readable it is? I have the first paragraph be of Grey look around his surroundings, second paragraph him asking around, and third paragraph him in Pallet Town.

If you're going to have several battles in this story, you'll need to work on you description. While Red has the type advantage, the battle can still go on for a few more sentences. For instance (spoilers tag again) --




Noticed how much the battle got more exciting with more description and some reactions/body language from both trainers and Pokemon. Sorry if it seems I suddenly rewrote the battle for you, just wanted to give an example how you can give it more detail.

I agree with eonoflegend that so far everything's all over the place. This could actually be easily broken down into two chapters, with the first chapter be Grey talking to the people in Cinnabar Island and him battling Red. I noticed the parts with him in Cinnabar Island there's no dialogue from him, so I recommend at least a speaking part for him when he speaks to the old man ("It's all right, I have a Lapras I can use to take me to Pallet Town."). Second chapter can be Grey talking with his parents and Professor Oak. I understand sometimes dialogue can be long to readers, but in this case with Red reuniting with his parents and Oak dialogue would benefit a lot.

Overall, I suggest to try your best to expand the details in the first chapter more. I also highly recommended taking the paragraph that mentioned Grey's parents and Oak out and have Chapter Two be about that. There are some parts I think the language/writing style could be stronger too, but I'll hold that off for now and have you focus on paragraphing and pacing first. While the amnesiac trope has been done many times, this still has a lot of potential if you have Red regaining his memories gradually and not too fast like within a few chapters. I might come back to see your progress, so I wish you luck on future chapters! If there's something you're unsure of, let me know.

Oh, before I go, onto your poll question. If by other friend you mean, Grey, then that's totally fine.

Thanks Bay Alexison, for sharing your views and I agree with you. I'll make the next chapter according to this to make it better thanks.

Is the fanfic going to continue?

[FONT=&quot]After resting Grey continued his journey and went through Viridian Forest to Pewter City after battling many trainers. He was far behind Red and Blue now. Grey now wanted his 1st badge and so he went to the Pokémon Gym of Pewter City. [/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]The gym was empty with one man playing with children. Grey asked for the gym leader and to his surprise he found out that the person playing was the gym leader, Brock. Grey challenged him to a battle. There was silence for a moment but then Brock stood up and refused Grey's challenge.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]Brock said "I had held a competition to seek for a deserving trainer for a battle and two people got the badge. The competitions over and now I won't battle you. I'm sorry." [/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]Grey asked "Who were those trainers". Brock replied "Two trainers from Pallet Town, Blue and Red." [/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]Grey said "I am their friend and I am sure you will find me a worthy opponent. Please battle me."[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]Brock refused and at that moment when Grey was about to burst with anger, when they heard screams.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]Brock left saying his the children to go home. Grey also went to see what the cause of the screams was.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]He saw smoke rising from near the local museum. Grey and Brock went there to find the people with the 'R' initial on their shirts. There were about 4 of them with one Pokémon each. They boasted "Team Rocket will take over all of Kanto and the beginning is from here."[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]Brock tried to take them all at once but failed and then requested Grey to help in promise for a battle.[/FONT]
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[FONT=&quot]The Team Rocket cohorts sent a Magby and Weepinbell out while Red sent Growlithe and Lapras out.[/FONT]
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[FONT=&quot]Team Rocket commanded "Weepinbell use Razor Leaf and Magby use Fire Blast".[/FONT]
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[FONT=&quot]Grey acted quickly and said "Lapras use Water Pulse to finish the Fire. Growlithe use Flamethrower to get rid of the leaves."[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]
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[FONT=&quot]The fire was extinguished by the water and the leaves got burnt. Grey sparing no moment commanded
[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]"Lapras use Water Pulse. Growlithe use Flamethrower" [/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]
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[FONT=&quot]Both Magby and Weepinbell received critical damage and fainted.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]Brock also defeated the other two Team Rocket members and they retreated. Brock said "Thanks Grey. You helped me defend my city. I will be waiting in my gym for our battle." Grey then went to the Pokémon Centre to heal his pokémon. After healing them he went to the gym. [/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]Brock sent out Geodude while Grey started off with his Growlithe.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]
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[FONT=&quot]Growlithe used Headbutt. Growlithe was so quick that Geodude couldn't avoid it and got flinched.[/FONT]

[FONT=&quot][/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]Geodude had low HP left so Brock commanded Geodude to get in close to Growlithe.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]
[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]Grey got to know Brock's next move so when Geodude came in close, he said Growlithe to use Headbutt. Geodude deflected it throwing Growlithe back but that's what Grey wanted. Geodude used
[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]Self-Destruct and fainted.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]
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[FONT=&quot]Brock returned Geodude to its Pokeball and then sent out Onix. While Grey returned Growlithe to its pokeball and sent out Lapras.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]
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[FONT=&quot]Brock said to Onix "Use Bind". Lapras was now struggling and was unable to move.[/FONT]


[FONT=&quot]Grey said to Lapras "Use Sing." In an instant Onix fell asleep and Lapras was free of Bind.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]
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[FONT=&quot]Grey said" Use Water Pulse" to Lapras. Lapras used Water Pulse. The attack was too strong sending Onix colliding with the Gym wall. Onix had fainted and Grey had won.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]Brock praised Grey as a worthy trainer and gave him the Boulder Badge. Grey went to the Pokémon Centre and after healing his Pokémon set out for Cerulean City. [/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] [/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] [/FONT]

Pokemontology said:

Is the fanfic going to continue?

Click to expand...

Yes.

I just finished reading and I must say this is really good! ;)

Omega said:

I just finished reading and I must say this is really good! ;)

Click to expand...

Thanks.

After winning his first badge, Grey set out for Mount Mon. Upon arriving there he saw a man being attacked by some pokémon. Grey quickly dashed to help the person and sent out Lapras to save him from a Diglett. Lapras used Water Pulse on Grey's command. Diglett fainted and then Grey threw his poke ball to capture it. His capture was successful. Grey turned to the man, inquiring about his condition and why the pokémon had attacked him. The person was safe and told Grey that the pokémon was not trying to harm but rather keep him away from harm. He carried on with his story telling about the Team Rocket capture of Mount Moon to find the Moon Stone. He told that during that time someone beat them and the cave collapsed which destroyed these Pokémon's homes. And now they don't let anyone go in that cave as there are chances of collapse and also the route to Cerulean city is also destroyed. Grey was now disheartened about the fact that he may not be able to venture forth and compete with his rivals and defeat Team Rocket. But then Red came to his mind and he became determined to not lose hope and try to reach to Cerulean City.
He then went in the cave and found all the Pokémon grouped at one place. Grey approached them and talked to them. He said "I am sorry about what happened to your homes. I would want to help you because in that way I would be helping myself." The Pokémon looked at each other and nodded in approval. Grey was taken to the place where the cave had collapsed. He sent out Lapras and Diglett and ordered them to use Water Gun and Dig simultaneously at the rocks. The rocks then broke with the action of water and force little by little. Grey was about to call them back, when he saw a Team Rocket cohort. The Team Rocket cohort (talking to himself), "Where is that Moon Stone?" Grey shouted at him "You guys destroyed these Pokémon's homes. I am not going to spare you". The cohort replied "What ya gonna do then?"
The cohort sent out an Odish. Grey reacted quickly and sent out Growlithe after calling Lapras and Diglett back.
Grey said "Use Flamethrower". Growlithe used 'Flamethrower' and Odish with one hit fainted.
Grey approached the cohort and asked why they destroyed these Pokémon's homes. He replied in order to make their Pokémon stronger they were experimenting on them by using on them the Moon Stone. Grey although infuriated let the cohort go and then bid farewell to the Pokémon. They smiled as he helped them. Then Grey went to Cerulean City to get his second badge.

Chapter 5: How can I get stronger?

It was raining when Grey arrived in Cerulean City. He ran to the Pokémon Center to make his Pokémon rest. After the Mount Moon incident he was very tired. So instead of going to the Pokemon Gym for a badge he went to a hotel. He went to bed and instantly went to sleep.

Dream Starts

Grey sees the Team Rocket member who had blasted him to the ocean. When the cohort saw Grey he said "You are still alive. Well that gives me the pleasure to blast you again". Grey got scared, the cohort sent out his Pokemon but Grey was too scared to move. He was blasted again and at that moment he woke up.

Dream Ended

Grey was a little frightened and was trying to forget the dream. He said "I have to become stronger to defeat Team Rocket". He concentrated hard to get the dream out of his mind when he had a flashback.

Flashback

He saw Red's Mom and Red coming to his house for the first time. Red's mom went ahead while Red and Grey stood there. They were looking at each other when the silence was broken by Red who introduced himself. Grey introduced himself also. Grey was a quiet fellow and Red wasn't and so Red started asking questions like "What' your age" etc. Grey wasn't interested in the questions he was asking. His face was also showing this and Red had also noticed this. So rather than giving up he asked him a thing which everybody was interested in Pokemon. He asked which Pokemon was his favorite. Grey was taking interest now in the question Red was asking. He enthusiastically answered "I like all Pokemon of all types and if I were to get any Pokemon for my first Pokemon, I would be happy". Red with a smirk then asked "Even if it's a Magikarp?" Grey said "Ok! You can leave that one out". Then they both started laughing.

Flashback Ended

Grey started smiling after the flashback and thought "So that's how our friendship started". Grey slept the remaining night without the fear of Team Rocket. The next day he went to the Gym and saw a lady. Grey thought she was the Gym Leader and asked her to a battle for the Pokemon badge. He found out that the person wasn't the leader. She told that the Gym Leader's name was Misty and she herself was Misty's servant, Amy. She further added that the Leader wasn't going to battle him because she was tired from her journey (with Red) and that her Pokemon were in the Pokemon Center. Grey thought 'Now how will I further advance my goal to defeat Team Rocket, if I can't get any stronger".

At that moment a person came in the Gym and gave a Pokeball to Amy and said "Here is Lady Misty's Starmie." Amy then brought Starmie out of the Pokeball and asked how it was. The Pokemon was happy with her. Grey saw this and asked her "This Starmie is the Gym Leader Pokemon?" She replied "Yes." Grey said "So if you ask it to battle me, will it?" She said "Yes, but…" Grey said "Then battle me. Please. I need to get stronger in order to achieve a goal." She after seeing Grey's desperation agreed.

Battle = Grey vs Amy

Grey sent out Lapras knowing that two of its Pokemon (Growlithe and Diglett) couldn't win. Starmie also advanced forward.

Amy commanded it to use 'Hydro Pump' but Grey commanded Lapras to dodge it and Lapras quick response made Starmie miss.

Grey then said Lapras to use 'Ice Beam'. The attack was so powerful that Starmie froze.

Then Grey said Lapras to use 'Body Slam' again and again. Lapras continuously used it but in between the ice defrosted and then

Amy commanded Starmie to use 'Confuse Ray'.

Lapras couldn't avoid that and ended up confused. Amy then said Starmie to use 'Swift' and Starmie used it again and again.

Lapras was now on the verge of fainting when it snapped out of confusion. Grey didn't waste a moment and said Lapras to use 'Sing'.
Starmie was now asleep and then Lapras was now using 'Body Slam'. Lapras hit it a few times when Starmie broke free. Although now awake Lapras hit it another time which made it faint.

Battle Ended

Grey had won and so he called Lapras back. Amy told him that he was strong and that there are many trainers on the route to the Pokemon Researcher Bill's house, so if he wanted to train he could train there. She gave him the Tm Water Pulse and then Grey said "Thanks Amy. Goodbye." She also said him Goodbye. Thus Grey went to the route 25 and battled many trainers and caught an Abra. He evolved it into a Kadabra and then set out for Celadon City.