[Pokémon] The Year of the Monotypes

The Year of the Monotypes - Part 1
This is a very prestigious moment in my journey. The Pokémon League, where trainers all across the world meet here in Unova to compete to achieve their goal. Whether it is Pokémon Champion or an opportunity to dethrone a member of the elite 4, only the best trainer here can do it. There is only one opportunity… and it's going to be mine. I'm Adam Sly and I train fighting types. Although I don't look like someone who would use fighting types, I am actually a very skilled Pokémon Trainer. I've defeated all 8 gym leaders with no problems and along the way I have also met the gym leaders from Hoenn. I managed to beat every single trainer I've met throughout my journey, except for one. His name is Hans Salloy. Hans is definitely a unique character. I've never met someone like him. I expect him to be here with his Steel type team, but I haven't seen him yet. Along with Hans, there's this really interesting guy that I've become good friends with. Another monotype trainer who goes by the name Sam Brody. He's proficient with ghost types. One thing I've learned from battling him is that he should NEVER be underestimated. I almost paid the price for doing that the first time I met him. I also happened to be the first person to defeat him. The battle was heart stopping. Here at the Pokémon League, there are a total of 132 trainers. All who have the same credentials; 8 Unova Gym Badges. This is not going to be easy. There are so many trainers who I don't even know yet. I'm going to be tested here. If I want to be the first ever monotype champion, I am going to have to win here. In order to do that, I have to win 7 matches. If I lose, it's over and I'll be watching from the sidelines. I can't let that happen; no matter who I face, they are the ones who will lose. But thinking like this will get me nowhere… everyone is probably thinking the same thing.

I'll release part 2 if people think this is a decent start.

Well, some constructive criticism: prologues are generally meant to chronicle an event that happens before the story actually begins (usually something right before the first chapter, though I prefer writing ones that come into play later on). This is more introductory. Your character is just explaining things that led up to the Pokemon League competition. It seems just a little off-putting since most readers expect to have something happen right away. Suffice it to say, it helps to show things happening in a story than to just tell how things are.

So it would be enough to call it an introduction? This is kinda an overnight thing that I thought of. I'll still post part 2 so you can get a better idea. Thanks for replying though.

Yes, it would be more of an introduction. It's still part of the story, but like I said, a traditional prologue would need to encompass an actual event that's happening at the moment when you write it. If you were talking about the first battle at the Pokemon League, that would've made it a prologue. Explaining who is who makes it an introduction. I just wanted to clarify that. People confuse them a lot, though there isn't a huge difference.

A word before I begin, when you put "prologue" in the title, does that mean that you're going to post chapter one in another thread? If that's what you were thinking, then I'm here to say that you can't do that. All chapters belong in one thread to keep everything nice and organized. If you were already going to do this and I'm just spurting out nonsense, then keep doing what you're doing. Either way, if you want me to edit out the "prologue" out of your title, then just let me know and I'll happily do that for you. Now, down to business.

The Pokémon League.

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This doesn't belong as its own sentence. I would replace that ending period with a comma and tie it to the next sentence.

I've defeated all 8 gym leaders with no problems and along the way I have also met the gym leaders from Hoenn. I managed to beat every single trainer I've met along the way. Except for one.

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I don't like how you repeated "along the way". I don't like it because repeating the phrase ruins the flow of the story. I would edit it around a bit to get rid of at least one of those. I'm also having concerns about the last sentence and the fact that it isn't a sentence. Well, at least it shouldn't be. I would get rid of the period before "except" and replace it with a comma.

One thing I should mention is the use of numbers. You should only be using numbers when the number is greater than ninety-nine. Otherwise, type it out. I noticed that you used several numbers throughout this, so just thought I would point it out.

You also need work on commas. Yup, the bane of writers everywhere. You're missing a lot of commas in here, and I'm not going to be pointing all of them out. Instead, I'll show you the two most common areas where you need them and you can try to fill them in. Practice makes perfect, after all.

I expect him to be here with his Steel type team but I haven't seen him yet.

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Right here, you need a comma right before "but". The reason is that "but" is a transitional word here. Meaning that "but" is moving the reader along into the second half of the sentence, and is giving off a vibe of contradiction. Such as Adam here expecting his friend to show up, but he doesn't see him yet.

I'm Adam Sly. I train fighting types.

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I noticed that you break up your sentences with periods a lot, probably a bit too much. It gives the story a choppy feel to it that I don't think you're going for. Instead, try linking sentences that go together, like the one above. Just don't go crazy and start making run-on sentences.

Going off of what Incinermyn said, I would have to disagree. All the prologue is doing is setting up the story. Incinermyn is right when he said that none of the main story action occurs in the prologue, but whether or not the prologue is an event is all up to the writer. Just go with whatever way you feel best sets up your story. As far as showing goes, it's a tricky subject. Since this is written in first person, all the showing is going to be done by the narration of the speaker. I'm going to hold off on my critique for that until I see the next part. Maybe I'm just missing something here. Is there a difference between the prologue and the introduction? I always thought that the prologue was here to introduce the story if it needed it.

Monotype teams are something that I hardly ever see outside of gym leader positions, and as someone who very much enjoys battling competitively in the monotype tier, it's a welcome sight. I can't say much about the story so far since this is only the prologue, but it's a nice set-up for a huge tournament to take place. The idea is there, but the execution needs a little work. But hey, that's why we're all here, to learn together!

Got it, thanks man. So whats the process for posting the second part? do i just do it here like a generic reply? Or start a new thread. I guess it's a silly question but I'm new to this..

Edit: I posted this before reading your feedback, Slayr231. Thanks for reading and yes, if you can take prologue out of the title, I would appreciate that.

GardevoirGuy said:

Got it, thanks man. So whats the process for posting the second part? do i just do it here like a generic reply? Or start a new thread. I guess it's a silly question but I'm new to this..

Edit: I posted this before reading your feedback, Slayr231. Thanks for reading and yes, if you can take prologue out of the title, I would appreciate that.

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Every new part gets posted as a reply. It's not the best process in the world, but it gets the job done. Don't worry about the questions. It's why I'm here!

Alrighty, I'm going to take the "Prologue" out right as soon as I get done posting this.

Thanks once again. I really like your feedback. The battling doesn't begin until part 3 of the story, however, in part 2 dialogue and quotes are introduced. I'm not sure if the way I am doing it will make sense to others but since your feedback makes me feel like I'm learning something, I will go ahead and post it.
So just a heads up. Whenever there is no dialogue, we are supposed to be reading the 'thoughts' of Adam Sly at that moment so if it has that 'choppy' feeling you speak of, I may have wanted it like that at some points.That being said, I would absolutely LOVE more constructive criticism from both of you.

Oh one more thing. How do you feel about swearing?

GardevoirGuy said:

Thanks once again. I really like your feedback. The battling doesn't begin until part 3 of the story, however, in part 2 dialogue and quotes are introduced. I'm not sure if the way I am doing it will make sense to others but since your feedback makes me feel like I'm learning something, I will go ahead and post it.
So just a heads up. Whenever there is no dialogue, we are supposed to be reading the 'thoughts' of Adam Sly at that moment so if it has that 'choppy' feeling you speak of, I may have wanted it like that at some points.That being said, I would absolutely LOVE more constructive criticism from both of you.

Oh one more thing. How do you feel about swearing?

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No problem, we're all here to learn, so why not learn together? You might have noticed that that's the second time I've said it. That's because it's like my little motto for the section. Hooray for mottoes!

In the rules, it's said that swearing is allowed, but don't go overboard. FF&W is unique in the fact that we do allow swearing here, but try to keep it at a minimal, for all of our sakes. If you haven't, I would give reading the rules a try, it might help with your questions. ;)

The Year of the Monotypes – Part 2

I wait in the big arena with the other 131 trainers. I haven't seen Sam or Hans yet but something catches my eye. As the host, Elvitz Pretzels begins to speak, I look up on the big screen. The words "the year of monotypes" is what it says on the screen. This catches my attention. So there are more like me… It's not new but this is the first time in 69 years the big screen has ever said that. Elvitz begins to speak.

"Welcome to the 69th annual Unova Pokemon League. This year is quite interesting as we are calling it the year of the monotypes. Why? Well that's because we have never had more single type trainers than we do in this tournament this year. The lucky number?..."

How many can there be. I know Hans and Sam but are there more? Maybe half of us standing here are monotypes. Oh no…if that's the case, winning this will not be as much of an accomplishment as I initially thought. I listen in on the number

"...Eleven. Eleven trainers are of the monotype category"

…Eleven. That's it? Well I guess I'm not surprised… monotype trainers don't usually come here. There's usually about 2-4 every year so I guess 11 is a big number for us. I think for a second… So there are 10 more other than me. I know Sam and Hans, so there are 8 more that I still have to meet. I'm looking around and I spot one. I roll my eyes as soon as I look at him… standing with his Conkeldurr. That's right. Another fighting type trainer. I'm not worried though. Nobody has ever scared me before. Despite his buff figure, this guy isn't going to scare me either. I think about an impending battle. I think about me crushing him. Stop. I can't get too confident. Gotta keep my cool like always. Its what's gotten me this far. I take a deep breath and I see someone walking towards me.

"Hey Adam!! You made it"

It was Sam. He looked different. Wearing a new getup for the tournament I guess. I couldn't recognize him because his face was shadowed under a hood. I guess he's living up to his reputation. Sam never had any friends. In fact, I think I'm his only one. He's very hard to get used to but being friends with him is one of the smartest decisions I have ever made. He's insanely strong but is always labelled as an underdog. Maybe it's because he always has this creepy smile on his face... no I guess that explains why he doesn't have many friends. He's always bullied when I'm not around I heard.

"Sam! Why am I not surprised. Nice getup"

He smiles… or continues smiling. That's one of the things I like about him. Despite a rough life, he always smiles. But he becomes the devil during battle. It's like all the anger inside of him is released during a battle. It's amazing to watch. He is one of the most talented trainers I've seen. If anyone is going to beat him here, it will be me. We turn back to Elvitz and continue listening.

"I am very pleased with the turnout here. 132 trainers have made it but only 1 will win. Here are all the profiles"
Ugh... this is going to take long. The profiles show all the trainers and their personal info. I guess I should stay and watch so I can see all the monotype trainers here. Also, I want to see who is favoured to win this thing. The first profile is that of Ziriuz Ballamys. He's the one they think is going to win this year. He looks strong. He's actually standing a few feet ahead of me, smiling and waving as people search the crowd of trainers to find him. Well someone seems confident. The first profile is always the one they think is going to win. After that, it just goes in random order. I didn't expect to see myself until later on in the lineup but I was second.

"Adam Sly. Our first monotype trainer. Ohh yes, he may not look like it but this young fellow yields the fighting type fury"

The fighting type fury? Ugh. I can feel eyes staring at me. Keep my cool. That's all I gotta do. Oh no. HE is looking at me. The other fighting trainer. I can see him smirking. Great. He thinks I'm weak. Perfect. As we go down the list, Sam's name comes up.

"Ahhh and here we have another monotype trainer. Sam Brody. His smile as creepy as the Pokémon he raises. This boy is ready to spook the competition with his ghost type vibe. Don't underestimate this underdog"

Underdog. That word makes Sam furious. I look at him and smirk... for some reason he calms down when it looks like I make fun of him. I find it funny. Someone as strong as Sam is labelled as an underdog. The list continues. I see this one girl who seems like she's kinda crazy. Perfect for Sam. Gotta watch out for her. All of a sudden Ziriuz makes his way towards us.

Ziriuz: "Pathetic monotypes"

What? Really? This guy is…

Sam: "Excuse me? Who do you think you are pal?"

Oh no.

Adam: "Calm down Sam. Don't worry about him…"

Ziriuz: "You heard me. I don't like how there's so many of you ******s here. Go to the ****ing monotype tournament…"

The monotype tournament. It's where people who want to become gym leaders go. That's not my goal. Neither is it Sam's. A gym leader has one job. And that is to lose. Nobody wants to lose and that is why I'm going to be the champion.

Adam: "The monotype tournament? Why are you so upset? Scared that you can't handle us?"

Ziriuz: "Oh please. I can take every single one of you. I'm the one who's gonna win. They even announced it."

I can see why he's so confident. In the past, 9 out of 10 times the favored trainer is the one who actually wins. Even though it's a prediction, it's very accurate. He's the main obstacle here. I'm actually surprised Hans Salloy wasn't the favored trainer but maybe it's because monotype trainers are being underestimated. As I'm deep in thought, Sam and Ziriuz trade a few words and Ziruiz walks away after that.

Sam: "Can you believe that guy? He's gonna pay on the battlefield."

Adam: "Careful Sam. He's right you know... they think he's going to win. That means he's really strong."

We turn back to the profiles on the big screen and… oh my god... I see her. Sarah Valdez.

"Here we have Sarah Valdez. The chilling beauty and her ice types."

She's my ex-girlfriend. We're still friends and all but since we were going to end up competing, we stopped our relationship and focused on our real goal. I never thought that she'd have what it takes to come this far. Well I can't wait to see her. We got some catching up to do if you know what I mean. I can't see her right now so I guess catching up can wait.

The profiling is done and the monotype group seems pretty strong. There's me and my fighting types, Sam and his ghost types, Sarah and her ice types, and the other fighting trainer. His name is Herald Skimms. Oh and there's Hans and his steel Pokémon. The others include Calvin Hob and his dark team, Alexis Nova with her flying team, Desmond Li and his ground types, Kenneth Rizer and his dragons, some guy named Blaze and well… his fire types, and lastly, there's Henry Cuzkin with grass types. Seems interesting. I can't wait till we all meet. They all seem pretty strong. The profiles seemed interesting as well.

I'm sitting in the lobby of the Pokémon center with my Breloom and thinking about tomorrows match. Some guy named Felix. I can beat him. I have to beat him. And I'm going to do it with Breloom. Only Breloom. I put my Pokémon back in his pokeball and moments later I hear some girl say something.

"You better hope that you won't end up battling me"

It was Alexis. She was insanely hot. Like really hot. It made me laugh a bit inside. Normally girls like her aren't very good at battling. But I was intrigued.

Adam: "Why's that"

Yeahhh you guessed it. I'm not very good with girls. I don't even know what Sarah sees in me.

Alexis: "Because, silly, you're fighting Pokémon are weak to my beautiful flying types.

She is so into me.

Adam: "Well Alexis. I hope you know that I intend to win this competition… even if I end up facing you"

Alexis: We all intend to win this competition. And you look so pathetic. Is that why you need fighting type Pokémon? To protect you?

Okay. Maybe I was wrong... she doesn't seem very into me.

Alexis: "That Herald guy though. Now there's someone who knows what he's doing. "

Wow... she was distracted and looking right at him... I took this moment to just walk away. I didn't know what to say. She was right. I don't look very strong. But I love fighting type Pokémon. It's always been my dream to train them to the top. Something just came across my mind. I'm seen as an underdog like Sam. The only way to escape that is to prove myself in battle, and that's exactly what I'm going to do.

I thought I'd go ahead and post part 3 so you can get a feel for the battles and how they go down :P.

The Year of the Monotypes – Part 3
I walk into the stadium. Looks like we're going to be battling in a typical flat stadium for this match. Nice. I see Felix walk out opposite from me.
Felix: Hey, Adam. Let's make this battle an interesting one eh? Don't lose to me right away.
I didn't say anything. Gotta keep my cool. That mother****er doesn't stand a chance. I'm the future champion. He seems confident. I know what he's going to send in. or at least I have an idea. It's a psychic type. It could be flying but most people know that fighting trainers prepare more for flying than they do for psychic. Sorry Breloom. Change of plans. I'll still make this quick.
He sends out a Xatu. Damn. Psychic and flying. I thought it would be something else but I can still take care of this one. I was thinking about putting ahead Heracross… wait. I have no choice. It's too late. It has to be Heracross. I've already chosen.
Felix: "Having trouble deciding who you're going to let lose first?"
Adam: "Heracross, you're up!"
Felix: "Really? You know I was kidding earlier. I thought you were strong, but this??"
I gotta ignore him. Keeping my cool is key. Heracross's megahorn will be sufficient. Knowing Xatu, its psychic attacks are nothing to be worried about. Heracross is going to win this.
Felix: "Aerial Ace."
That move however can do enough to knock Heracross out. Good thing he knows when to move out of the way.
Adam: "Heracross get under Xatu and ready up megahorn"
My though process here is to intercept that aerial ace with megahorn. Heracross has a lot more power and hopefully it will cancel the effects of that aerial ace.
Elvitz: "And it seems as if both Pokémon are colliding with strong physical attacks."
No ****…
Felix: "Xatu back off and use confuse ray!"
Oh no.
Adam: "Heracross return!"
Hmmmm. This was a smart decision. I could have been reckless and continued with Heracross but that would have never worked. The initial matches are 3v3 so I have to be very careful.
Felix: "What?? Hey, are you scared or something?"
Adam: "Heracross is my main counter for psychic types. I have to play smart. Lucario, I choose you!"
Now we begin.
Adam: "Lucario, DARK PULSE!"
Felix: "WHAT? NO WAY! Xatu, get out of the way!!"
Elvitz: "It's TOO LATE! Xatu gets hit by the dark pulse and it doesn't look like it's getting up."
He's right. Xatu is not getting up from that. Lucario's dark pulse is too strong.
Ref: "Xatu is unable to battle. Lucario wins."
Felix: "How? No way, now I'm in trouble."
Adam: "Whats that? Don't tell me that you were counting only on Xatu for this match."
Yes. I am a hypocrite.
Felix: "Ampharos, let's go!"
Okay. Ampharos. Let's think. As far as I'm concerned, I can't be physical with it. Static will surely be the death of me here. Smart choice though on Felix's part. Most fighting types count on their physical moves. But not Lucario.
Felix: "Ampharos, use thunderpunch!"
Adam: "Aura Sphere!"
Aura sphere lands before ampharos can even begin to make a move. I don't expect him to be done though. Ampharos is a bit more bulkier than that. I have to move quickly.
Felix: "Ampharos I know you can do this! Use confuse ray."
Adam: "Oh no. confuse ray again? Not good."
Should I switch?? I definitely can but he's going to keep on hitting me with that. No I have to switch. Gotta keep my cool.
Felix: "Haha, what are you gonna do? Switch again?"
Adam: "Actually, yes."
I can see the frustration in his face. Why is he frustrated? Didn't he want me to switch? I guess not. I call Lucario back into his pokeball.
Elvitz: "And lucario goes back in. who is Adam going to send in next?"
Adam: "Heracross, let's go!"
Felix: "Again with that bug huh? Ampharos, use thunderpunch."
Adam: "Really? Haven't you learned a thing?"
Hmmm… it seems that I am stressed over nothing. Felix seems to be a weaker trainer than I had thought. I should get this over with quickly.
Adam: "Heracross use mega horn; full power!"
Elvitz: "AND IT LOOKS LIKE AMPHAROS IS UNABLE TO FIGHT!"
That's right. The damage from Lucario's aura sphere and Heracross's megahorn are too much for any Pokémon to handle.
Felix: "NOOO! This can't be!"
Adam: "Come on Felix, I thought you'd be stronger."
Ohhh Adam, thou art a heartless *****.
Felix: "It's NOT OVER! Magmar, I choose you."
He's right. It's not over. Just like that Heracross and Lucario are rendered useless. His Magmar can easily take them both. On paper… from what I've experienced, I can easily win against Felix. Fortunately for me, I have a Pokémon that can wipe the floor with Magmar. Literally. This was a very poor choice on Felix's part. Yes he sent out a fire type and yes that fire type can beat both the Pokémon I have exposed to the field so far. However, a smarter choice would have been a poison type. Not fire.
Adam: "You can't be so direct, man."
Felix: "Huh?"
Adam: "Heracross return. You sent out a fire type. You'd think it's a smart choice because the two Pokémon I have shown are both weak to that type. But you didn't think this through did you? I still have one Pokémon that you haven't seen yet. And since you are not a monotype trainer, I doubt that Magmar has any counters to my Poliwrath."
Elvitz: "And out comes Adam's Poliwrath."
Felix: "No, no, no! It's not over. Magmar use confuse ray!"
Really? Okay he got me there. I'm trapped at the moment. Do I switch? Absolutely not. I have got to trust Poliwrath on this one.
Felix: "Hahaha, no counters you say? How's this confuse ray, Adam?"
Adam: "I have to say that I didn't expect this at all but I don't possibly see how your Magmar is going to win against my Poliwrath."
Felix: "Well then, it's time to show everyone what a REAL comeback looks like!"
As far as I'm concerned Magmar should be an easy target for Poliwrath. But that confuse ray is really gonna hurt. If he manages to defeat Poliwrath, it's over. A thought crossed my mind. A thought that I discarded earlier. Even though I have all 3 of my Pokémon in almost perfect health, I haven't won yet. I have to do this. I have to switch.
Adam: "Poliwrath return."
What can I do? There's no changing my mind. The next Pokémon I send out is going out on a death wish. I look over in the audience. So many faces. All looking at me like I've made a mistake. I haven't made a mistake. I see Sam and he nods. He knows what I'm thinking. He knows that I've already won this battle. I know that I've already won this battle.
Adam: "Heracross, bear with me here!"
Felix: "HAHAHA, I've got you! It's over pal! You're done! Magmar, use flamethrower."
A quick look at Magmar's movements and I know it's faster than Heracross. I have to think quickly here. I know a way. But it's dangerous.
Adam: "Heracross! I need you to take that flamethrower. Take that flamethrower and use EARTHQUAKE!!!"
Felix: "Earthquake? No way. Your heracross is NOT surviving that flamethrower! MAGMAR, FULL POWER!"
Adam: "HERACROSS YOU CAN DO THIS!"
Elvitz: "And Heracross seems like he's withstanding the flamethrower. I DON'T BELIEVE THIS!"
Felix: "NOO COME ON MAGMAR!"
Adam: "Heracross! DO IT! EARTHQUAKE!"
There's that feeling. I know I've won. Heracross withstood the flamethrower. I knew it would. I used the same strategy against Sam and his Chandelure once. Chandelure's flamethrower is much stronger than Magmar's. If Heracross could survive that, it can easily survive this. I won.
Elvitz: "AND IT'S OVER! I DON'T THINK MAGMAR SURVIVED THAT EARTHQUAKE!"
He's right. Even I lost my ground. Heracross did it.
Felix: "…no"
Ref: "Magmar is unable to battle. Heracross wins. The victor is Adam Sly; 3-0"
I run up to Heracross and we celebrate for a while. After I take a look at Felix, who seems to be in disbelief, standing next to his Magmar, I thought I'd tell him it was a good battle.
Adam: "Hey Felix. You did alright but the truth is I was never going to lose."
Felix: "You know what? I didn't really believe that until Heracross used earthquake. The moment I confused Poliwrath, I thought I'd won. It seems I still have a lot to learn. Adam. You can win this. Good luck."
Adam: "Thanks."
Well that went better than expected. I met up with Sam and we kinda partied. He won his battle flawlessly as well.
I wake up the next morning for the matchups. Turns out I'm facing Herald Skimms for a place in the top 32.

Oh no…if that's the case, winning this will not be as much of an accomplishment as I initially thought.

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You need to remember to put a space after an ellipses (...). There are several instances where you forgot them.

My though process here is to intercept that aerial ace with megahorn.

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I think you meant "thought" instead of "though" here.

Take that flamethrower and use EARTHQUAKE!!!"

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Okay, more exclamation points doesn't mean louder, it means annoying. in other words, only use one exclamation point at a time. It looks better and cleans up the writing.

Adam. You can win this. Good luck."
Adam: "Thanks."

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I doubt Adam is cheering himself on here.

Okay, I have a lot to say, so I'll start off with the dialogue.

To be completely blunt, I don't like it. The dialogue content is fine, but I'm having qualms with the punctuation and how you're using it. Since the punctuation is easier, I'll start with that.

Felix: "Having trouble deciding who you're going to let lose first?"
Adam: "Heracross, you're up!"

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First things first, remember to hit that enter button twice when you're separating dialogue and paragraphs. You did it in part two, but not part three. I don't like the script format. This is not a play, and therefore the script format doesn't apply here. Instead, you should be using this format:

"Having trouble deciding who you're going to let lose first?" Felix mocked.

I grab my pokeball and throw it out on the field, "Heracross, you're up!"

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This not only allows room for more detail, but it flows better. Right now, your dialogue is holding back the story and ruining the tension that's supposed to be there. If you use this format, I guarantee your writing will improve dramatically.

The other thing that's really holding back the emotion is showing v telling. This is the hardest part of writing, but it's essential if you want to improve. It's hard, confusing, but totally worth it. Right now, you're telling me the story. I don't want you to tell me the story. Instead, show it to me. It's difficult to explain (for me at least), so let me work with an example. I'm not that great with showing, but this should be enough for the basics.

I walk into the stadium. Looks like we're going to be battling in a typical flat stadium for this match. Nice. I see Felix walk out opposite from me.

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Right here, you're telling us what's happening. Adam walks into the stadium, Felix walks into the stadium, the arena is flat, etc. What you're doing right here is listing the details one after another. Although informative, it's incredibly dull. What I want you to do is describe the situation. This is where first person gets tricky, but it's doable. Here's what I mean:

I take a deep breath and step into the stadium. The crowd starts cheering as I make my way to the edge of the battle field. The electricity throughout the stadium is intoxicating as I look over the flat battlefield to see my opponent, Felix, making his way in. Felix walks in waving his arms, greeting everyone with one of the biggest smiles I'd ever seen.

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Like I said before, I'm not the best at this, but this is closer to what I what getting at. Here, I don't list the facts about the surroundings. Instead, I appeal to the senses. Above, I appealed to sight, emotions, as well as hearing to describe the excitement of the audience and the feelings of being on the floor. During the battle, I wanted to feel excited and I wanted to feel suspense, but it wasn't there. This is where your dialogue hurts you. You're relying on too much dialogue and not enough description. How are the pokemon moving? What are they doing? What are they feeling? Asking questions like who, what, when, where, why, and how will help you develop the information you need to describe the scene properly. Showing is extremely hard, but it will help your writing so much.

Remember what I said about numbers? That still applies here.

As far as the story goes, I have mixed feelings. I'm not quite sure I get the hype over the monotypes. I get that there are more monotype trainers this year than on average, but it's a bit much. I mean, naming the biggest tournament the Unova region has to offer after less than 10% of the participation bracket is a bit much. It makes it seem that the entire tournament is going to focus on them and only them. It just seems unnecessary to me.

Other than that, the plot looks good so far. The run in with the predicted winner was awkward, and not in a good way, but that could just be me. I do have a few other nitpicks, but I feel like we should just start working on the big stuff first, then work on ironing out the details. This isn't that bad. There are things the need some improving, but there are some definite strengths. What I pointed out was mainly cosmetic changes. In other words, the story itself is pretty good. It flows, there aren't any confusing jumps, and I like the idea of monotypes as I have stated before. Just keep working at it and your writing will improve in no time.

Once again, I am loving this feedback. I'll have to rework on the dialogue on parts 2 and 3 before i repost them. I'll definitely take into consideration the emotions you wrote about.