First of all, thank you so much for your replies. It's really given me a well-needed fresh look at things.
I really wish I could cheat that system, but you're right, it just takes time. I really think I have all the closure that I need, I have no desire to speak to her again but it doesn't make it hurt any less. She's out of my life, and I want to keep it that way. If we both come to an agreement and get back together, she'll do this all over again. I'm still having dreams where her and I are together and things are normal, but they're getting better with each day. I just wish I could speed up the healing process so I can get back to doing what I love.
Yes, it does take time, I just wish it didn't. I'm going through phases of frustration and depression, but I'm trying to handle it in a healthy way. I just can't help but wonder if it was something that I've done to make her leave me, but I really don't know what that would be. I've done my absolute best to be THE perfect boyfriend, I never hit her, insulted her, or cheated on her in any way. I know that the issue is with her instead of me, but it doesn't make it hurt any less. Thank you for the recommendation of getting treated by professionals, I'm currently under the care of both a therapist and psychiatric nurse but my therapist is out of town until after Thanksgiving.
I guess I just want to speed things up and move on with my life without hurting like this. I'm trying to decide on whether or not to upload my rare Pokemon to the Pokemon Bank and just start with a fresh save on both my copy of Y and OR. I'm thinking about taking a vacation to be with my grandparents for a day or two, it certainly wouldn't be a bad idea.
Thank you both for your advice and kindness. It means a lot to me.
Spoiler:
It's going to hurt for months, and there is no way to cheat the system and avoid the emotional repercussions of being so close to someone and having them crash out of your life. It's not at all right of her to have done that in such a sudden and cruel manner to you, but there's no point getting mad about it.
Personally I'd probably want a little closure and would actually talk to her in a couple of weeks in your shoes. They say the best way to face your fears is to overcome them directly, and I think it's the same for your emotional pain. Even if she's really unpleasant to you... that might make it easier to handle in the grand scheme of things.
There'll be a time, maybe months, maybe even a year or so where you'll feel everything is fine again, and you'll play games and reflect on it as the happy time it was rather than feeling bitter and upset about it. I can only wish you all the best with moving on from this.
I really wish I could cheat that system, but you're right, it just takes time. I really think I have all the closure that I need, I have no desire to speak to her again but it doesn't make it hurt any less. She's out of my life, and I want to keep it that way. If we both come to an agreement and get back together, she'll do this all over again. I'm still having dreams where her and I are together and things are normal, but they're getting better with each day. I just wish I could speed up the healing process so I can get back to doing what I love.
Spoiler:
Oloolooloo! said:I'm not going to pretend her story is your story. If we all had the same, exact experiences in life, we'd all see things and we all feel about things the same way. I've hope I've explained my experience. If it helps, she's gotten a four-year full ride to a top 100 school, and a new boyfriend. I don't even know how she did it. But I truly think love is a drug. Like any addiction, it takes time. There could be relapses, and you'll need to be strong through them. Get help, someone who can be there with you. If there's no one you can trust, get a psychologist, and make sure it's a good psychologist too. If you can't get a psychologist, try a shot in the dark. Maybe a co-worker, I don't know, I'm not living your life. I'm just rambling at this point.
But there is one thing I think I know. If video games are making you depressed, then maybe you shouldn't try to play video games now. You don't need to accelerate the healing process if it's going to drive you over the edge. You will be able to play video games one of these days, but it doesn't have to be today.
Yes, it does take time, I just wish it didn't. I'm going through phases of frustration and depression, but I'm trying to handle it in a healthy way. I just can't help but wonder if it was something that I've done to make her leave me, but I really don't know what that would be. I've done my absolute best to be THE perfect boyfriend, I never hit her, insulted her, or cheated on her in any way. I know that the issue is with her instead of me, but it doesn't make it hurt any less. Thank you for the recommendation of getting treated by professionals, I'm currently under the care of both a therapist and psychiatric nurse but my therapist is out of town until after Thanksgiving.
I guess I just want to speed things up and move on with my life without hurting like this. I'm trying to decide on whether or not to upload my rare Pokemon to the Pokemon Bank and just start with a fresh save on both my copy of Y and OR. I'm thinking about taking a vacation to be with my grandparents for a day or two, it certainly wouldn't be a bad idea.
Thank you both for your advice and kindness. It means a lot to me.