Make a wish and have it horribly corrupted

Granted, but they are immortal and extremely powerful and destroys the whole multiverse in 0.000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000001

yoctoseconds.

I wish I am immortal and powerful.

Granted, but you lose all your senses, making you blind, deaf, mute, tasteless, and your skin numb.

I wish I could dye my hair to have blue streaks.

Granted, but it makes your hair look horribly deformed.

I wish for Robin Williams to stop staring at me through my bedroom window.

Granted, but Robin Williams crashes through the window to reach you.

I wish my cat would stop clawing at the carpet.

Granted, but now it's clawing your clothes.

I wish for a copy of Sonic CD that works properly.

Granted, but any cd player you put it in shorts out.

I wish I could draw what I want without being judged.

Granted. Now you are severely beaten for your work.

I wish for an Altoid mint.

Granted, but it tastes like fish.

I wish I could go fishing.

Granted, but all you catch are Altoid mints.

I wish I knew how to say "lemon-lime" in Swahili.

Granted, but now you can't speak any english.

I wish I had a working laptop.

Granted, but it has a two-second battery life and no charger.

I wish I didn't get grease burns from cooking dinner.

Granted, but you get grease burns from literally anything else.

I wish it took less time to cook a pizza.

Granted, but you get E. Coli from every pizza you eat from now on.

I wish for a blade of grass.

Granted, but it bursts into flames.

I wish I had your blade of grass back.

Granted, but it gives you a pedo smile and flies away.

I wish I could dig to China.

Granted, but every one in china hates you.

I wish for a magic pony. .u.

Granted, but he smells weird.

I wish I could do a Kamehameha.

Granted, but you explode.

I wish magic was real.

Granted. Enjoy your sleight of hand.

I wish I knew how to work in construction.