Is marriage important?

If two people are in love, should marriage always be the culmination of the relationship, or just the fact that they are together, be sufficient enough?

Pika Pika :chu:

I think that depends entirely on the couple. Marriage shouldn't have to be the culmination of a relationship, but if a couple feel that is something they want to do they absolutely should.

I feel that some people are under this misconception that a relationship isn't deep or meaningful unless the couple are married. This simply isn't true. In the BDSM community there are many couples in modern d/s relationships who share a bond greater than most married couples I know, and yet aren't married themselves.

If the couple wants to raise a family, marriage may be more important than if they do not want to raise a family. But in the end, I do not know if divorce rates/break up rates change with a marriage or not. Or the psychological effects on kids. And even if a couple who never married wanted to raise a family, I wouldnt really care to be honest. Its their life. Its really just up to what they want. Some place a high value on it while others dont. Whatever makes them happiest! :D

Personally, I would like to be married someday.

Marriage is like a promise to your family/community/society that you're going to follow the rules and not cause trouble. Or at least that was how it worked traditionally in a lot of places. Nowadays we want love to be a part so there's a mix of it being a promise to each other as much as to others.

It depends on the person how important marriage is. If you care about fulfilling your traditional role, basically if you're more of an old-fashioned kind of person, then marriage is probably going to mean more to you.

Which is a kind of weird thing to think about when you look at all the work done to make same-sex marriage legal. But that's also about the legal protections and so on.

I find myself thinking about this more and more in my own relationship, actually.

The larger part of me thinks marriage is quite outdated and unnecessary for a relationship that is strong and organic enough to flourish without such a binding tool. But then again, save for the financial implications, marriage can be a valuable grounding tool in a relationship. It dispels uncertainty to some extent. I have had moments of some insecurity and anxiety about the temporal extent of my relationship, and it seems marriage gives one some peace of mind in that regard.

To me, marriage isn't something that is important or that I will strive to achieve. I know it has a kind of symbolic importance to people as though the vows somehow guarantee they won't ever separate, but that clearly isn't the case in reality, especially nowadays with divorce being extremely common.

Considering how many marriages end in divorce I really am not too big on marriage. It's a life long commitment, and people's feelings towards each other often change over time. Do I make any sense or do I just seem pessimistic?

Hm, I say if you want to get married, then I'm all for it and I support you. Still, I'm against the thought that marriage should be the culmination of a relationship. I think marriage is overemphasized and yeah, it's a sacred process (or at least, according to my CCE teachers), but I don't see anything that stops a non-married couple from doing the same things as a married couple (unless it's a requirement for some weird thing or taxes, then kek). Plus I don't want to have to spend a ton of money for marriage just to get divorced in the end.

Frankly speaking, I think marriage is an over-rated concept. Don't get me wrong, its not that I don't believe in it, but too much emphasis is given to it sometimes.

If a couple, straight or gay, is happy together, whether in a live-in relationship or otherwise, people should just let them be & not be judgemental.

Pika Pika :chu:

I think marriage is important. It is an oath of mutual commitment between two partners. The point of the oath is making that commitment - it shouldn't be easy take-backsies. There are many milestones in a relationship and I feel that marriage is simply considered to be the final one. Could you commit to your partner more: if you can't really say yes to that, then you are married.

I feel like my mate and I are in a very solid relationship. Marriage to us though is merely papers and benefits. We know that we don't want to live without each other and we know that we don't need titles or benefits to want to be together. We'll get married eventually, but whether we do or not we'll always be happy together.

I don't think marriage is important, but I can understand why it is to others. Speaking solely for myself, marriage isn't a determinant at all as to whether or not I am able to maintain a healthy and loving relationship with another person. You can still be completely committed to someone without having to adorn their surname or wear a ring on your finger. I've seen some use marriage as a way to solidify the love between themselves and their partners, while I have seen others use marriage as a trap or a way to resuscitate love that is fading. The later of which, I think is an abuse of marriage. In saying this, I may still get married in the future haha.

I personally don't understand why people make a fuss about marriage from the other point of view. That is, what do you have against it? The arguments are flimsy at best. Getting married is easy and doesn't have to be expensive (just get your forms and ceremony done for a few hundred bucks at the marriage registry), and what it comes down to is a binding commitment to your partner. It's easy to make a promise when there are no consequences for breaking it. Divorce is messy. No one wants to deal with that so getting married is basically hedging your bets that you won't split.

Security is certainly the best thing about marriage. If you have a fight your partner can't just opt out on the spot. As you gain assets together then the legal side is equally important should the relationship break down.

Longish story I guess but this is how I feel now.

In the past when I was into other people I thought yeah OK marriage has to happen down the line and then have kids and live happily ever after. That's what I've been told and despite being into people I didn't feel a huge desire to get married. It was just a thing I figured I'd have to do someday (like go to uni which because I didn't really feel motivated for it I just sort of did average).

My bf and I got together a little before valentine's in 2014. For valentine's day he decided to prank me by pretending to propose (10 days after we got together) - I believed him and got emotional and upset because I was like omg it's too soon nooo. After about 20 minutes he revealed the truth and I wanted to hit him.

Fast forward to now, we've been living together for over a year, with his parents. His brother is married, and so is his sister. I've always wanted a feeling of belonging to something and I absolutely love this family. But unless I spit out kids (which is not gonna happen) I still feel as if I don't fit in as much as the husband and wife of his sister and neither - despite me getting along better with his parents than them (and everyone thinking I fit in anyway). It's not the wedding that I want, it's to feel like I REALLY fit in. I wanna share that last name damnit.

So that's how I view marriage, like my bf and I have a perfectly stable and happy relationship but I want to feel more connected to that part of him. I want to legally be an aunty to the kids and not just unofficially :(

Plus a wedding would be fun. On the cheap tho ofc. We've accepted that we'll get married someday but idt I've mentioned those reasons for it to happen sooner rather than later. He doesn't look at PC unless I ask him to so I think I'm good. But whatever I can wait.

For others though, simply getting married for legal reasons or stuff idk. I'm all a big fan of people who marry for love.

I think that the culmination of a relationship in marriage varies in importance depending on one's faith, as well. Since I'm Catholic, I'd ideally marry whoever I'm in love with when the time comes, but I can understand why someone who doesn't identify as Christian doesn't feel compelled to "validate" their relationship with their significant other through marriage. If two people truly love each other, they don't need a priest or papers to tell them that they're in love. That being said, in today's society, it seems that marriage is seen as the culminating event in a romantic relationship and signifies the beginning of a new life as a family. However, I believe that with time, marriage will be seen less and less as the "familial gateway," so to speak, at least as far as the Western world is concerned.

Nope. I honestly don't care. If I ever get to that point, I'll go with whatever whoever I'm with wants, because I literally have zero preference on the matter. I see no value in putting a ring on my finger to make a point.

Until there is a ring on that finger and a contract drawn up, those legs are open to all. Engagement my behind

The right to marry is what's important to me - but whether marriage itself is important?... I'm not sure yet.

I think I want to get married in the future, but at the same time I can't imagine doing anything like your classic wedding. I think if my partner and I ever tie the knot we'll have to do something hella gay wicked.