Have you ever been in an online relationship?

If you have, what was it like? How long did it last? How do you feel about online relationships if you haven't been in one already? I've only been in one in the past, and honestly, it could not have been timed any worse. It was right when I was in the worst of my depression (back in December of 2013) when she and I started talking to each other on a brony forum (yes, I was a brony at one point). While I tried my best to stay positive, I just couldn't seem to do it. I felt so overwhelmed with the crap I had to deal with in my own life that I just became very unpleasant around. We ended up breaking up in March of that year, probably for the better honestly. I probably won't ever "date," so to say, a girl from the internet ever again unless it's a possibility that we'd meet in person (she was from LA and I'm from Buffalo, NY). Quite frankly, modern stigma also frowns upon online relationships, but probably in a different way than I do. I never got to see her, and honestly, to me, being with that person physically is a crucial part of a successful and happy relationship. Her and I never got to do such.

I've only been on one online relationship, which unfortunately lasted for about a month, because my gf's parents took away her internet for her low grades at school. It felt exciting, and I was in a sense of happiness to be together with someone with similar interests. She felt the same way too.

I have, once, a couple years ago. It was fantastic, but we broke up after 4 months after we both agreed that it wasn't working. As it happened, it was my first relationship in general and her only boyfriend before me was also online. I now jokingly push her to go outside and get a "real" boyfriend :P. And yeah, she lives on the other side of the country, and us being teenagers, it wasn't really an option to meet her in person.

Would I do it again? No. It is possible to have a stable long-distance relationship with someone you met online -- my sister and her boyfriend from Texas are getting along just fine -- but... no. Not my kind of thing.

I had a wondrous relationship with someone here on PC. After four months and not a day later, she abruptly left me, stunning me beyond comprehension and sending me spiraling into a six-month long depression. She said I was too much, and I was too shellshocked to understand that I overwhelmed her. I was a God to her and she didn't have the self-esteem to handle that.

Senusret said:

I had a wondrous relationship with someone here on PC. After four months and not a day later, she abruptly left me, stunning me beyond comprehension and sending me spiraling into a six-month long depression. She said I was too much, and I was too shellshocked to understand that I overwhelmed her. I was a God to her and she didn't have the self-esteem to handle that.

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Sounds a lot like one of my ex-girlfriends. Bottling things up, unfortunately, means that they are bound to explode sooner or later.

The closest thing I have ever had to an online relationship is dubbing someone my sibling because I'm an only child xD

But no, I haven't had an online relationship and I don't think I'd ever would. Personally for me there really has to be the physical aspect of them being there. Its hard for me to personally feel any attraction what so ever unless I meetup with them in real life. Not physical in the sense of appearance and looks, but just being there close to you and seeing them every day.
Long distance relationships especially is something I wouldn't really be able to do.
Especially living in a country that's away from most of the people I know online, chances are that I am probably never going to meet them.

I've seen a lot of my online friends get into online relationships and most of them end in trainwrecks. Of course it'll work for other people, but for me, it's a never.

NorthernWheelman said:

Sounds a lot like one of my ex-girlfriends. Bottling things up, unfortunately, means that they are bound to explode sooner or later.

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What do you think she was bottling up, though? From your inference, I mean. I have ben scraping for analysis over our relationship, lol.

Senusret said:

What do you think she was bottling up, though? From your inference, I mean. I have ben scraping for analysis over our relationship, lol.

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In my instance, I think she was bottling up the fact that we just were incompatible. Well, we both sorta did, but she bottled it quicker than I did. Took me about 6 months after we broke up to realize that we truly were incompatible. We met in a theatre troupe over the summer of 2011, and started dating around September. Thing is, my interest in theatre was waning for whatever reason, and theatre to her is like auto racing to me. Not to mention I just don't think, in retrospect, we balanced each other out too well. I mean, we got along until we broke up, but I just don't think we had that "click."

NorthernWheelman said:

In my instance, I think she was bottling up the fact that we just were incompatible. Well, we both sorta did, but she bottled it quicker than I did. Took me about 6 months after we broke up to realize that we truly were incompatible. We met in a theatre troupe over the summer of 2011, and started dating around September. Thing is, my interest in theatre was waning for whatever reason, and theatre to her is like auto racing to me. Not to mention I just don't think, in retrospect, we balanced each other out too well. I mean, we got along until we broke up, but I just don't think we had that "click."

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Oh no, that was not the case with Khilia and I, at least I don't think. I emotionally, sexually, empathetically, and socially overwhelmed her, quite literally. I recall her losing her bearing for a breadth a month or two after we parted and being hospitalized, and though she says it was school I have little doubt I didn't play into her psychotic anxiety. Also, knowing the personality of the voice she dealt with, I think her leaving me gave it every excuse to devour all she had, emotionally. It makes me a bit sad... yeah. Aren't I wondrous.

Senusret said:

Oh no, that was not the case with Khilia and I, at least I don't think. I emotionally, sexually, empathetically, and socially overwhelmed her, quite literally. I recall her losing her bearing for a breadth a month or two after we parted and being hospitalized, and though she says it was school I have little doubt I didn't play into her psychotic anxiety. Also, knowing the personality of the voice she dealt with, I think her leaving me gave it every excuse to devour all she had, emotionally. It makes me a bit sad... yeah. Aren't I wondrous.

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I'm sure you're not truly an evil person with malicious intent. After all, she never gave you any indication, which is, unfortunately, the downfall of many happy relationships. I don't wanna stray too far off topic here, but PM me if you wanna talk more about it; it seems like it left an imprint on your mind.

NorthernWheelman said:

I'm sure you're not truly an evil person with malicious intent. After all, she never gave you any indication, which is, unfortunately, the downfall of many happy relationships. I don't wanna stray too far off topic here, but PM me if you wanna talk more about it; it seems like it left an imprint on your mind.

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There's no reason we can't talk here, though. It's been a goal of staff that GC and its inherent incarnations move away from posting-and-going, and with that I am open about my trials with her personally. This is the off-topic section!

More than anything I fear a poison replaced me in her life. I fear she filled the void of my absence with something toxic, really. That toxicity could be anything from an opinion on life to a pharmaceutical, or even a bad partner whom she feels more "deserving" of. If it's not something truly good for her I'm afraid it will kill her, one way or another.

Look at me being all guilty about someone who left me on a whim, lol. I'm silly.

With her I had an open intent of total devotion and reverence for her while maintaining power in the relationship. I was in charge of things but everything I did revolved around her. Heh, um... is that bad? :ι

Senusret said:

There's no reason we can't talk here, though. It's been a goal of staff that GC and its inherent incarnations move away from posting-and-going, and with that I am open about my trials with her personally. This is the off-topic section!

More than anything I fear a poison replaced me in her life. I fear she filled the void of my absence with something toxic, really. That toxicity could be anything from an opinion on life to a pharmaceutical, or even a bad partner whom she feels more "deserving" of. If it's not something truly good for her I'm afraid it will kill her, one way or another.

Look at me being all guilty about someone who left me on a whim, lol. I'm silly.

With her I had an open intent of total devotion and reverence for her while maintaining power in the relationship. I was in charge of things but everything I did revolved around her. Heh, um... is that bad? :ι

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Sorry for taking a bit to reply, had to feed Groudon extra to make up for the fact that I spent all day on iRacing lol

And when you say a poison replaced you in her life, I'm not really sure what you are getting at. Do you think she just absolutely resented the relationship?

NorthernWheelman said:

Sorry for taking a bit to reply, had to feed Groudon extra to make up for the fact that I spent all day on iRacing lol

And when you say a poison replaced you in her life, I'm not really sure what you are getting at. Do you think she just absolutely resented the relationship?

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Not at all. After leaving she still repented that she loved me, but for seemingly unknown reasons she can't be with me. The confusion was less than helpful in my shock.

What I mean by poison replacing me is... naturally my absence would leave a massive hole in her psyche, since she did not part ways for a reason that you'd normally conjure. Ergo, she did not part out of detachment! I fear that maybe she may have let something unhealthy or even deathly fill the void she pushed me out of over psychosis... and that it will further damage her. That's what I think.

I did sometime last year but she lived farrrr and I was like nah girl I ain't tryna go that for you specially since she was rumored around to be a catfish lmaooo at that point I'd already made her swerve but I guess you could consider it like an online relationship she'd all be postin' on my wall every day. Glad I got rid of her she mess up my game good for awhile there cause the other girls I'd be meeting an start talkin' to from when I'd go out would find out and it just killllllled it for a good minute.

Now if a cutie wants to meet an go on a date I'm willin' to meet her, talk and try it out if the shoe fits, but other than that I ain't runnin' that internet relationship game. Waste a time an' energy, for real! I'm out. Peace.

I haven't been, and I don't think I'm the type of person for it. For me, and maybe that's just me being a hormonal teen, a big part of being in a relationship is physical. And with that I don't mean that I just care about sex, but kissing your partner is something I see as part of a relationship. I can totally see how it is enjoyable to just talk for hours with someone over skype and via the internet, but I don't think it would work for me at all. I'd have to be able to hug my partner to really commit I think.

MorallyIncorrect said:

I haven't been, and I don't think I'm the type of person for it. For me, and maybe that's just me being a hormonal teen, a big part of being in a relationship is physical. And with that I don't mean that I just care about sex, but kissing your partner is something I see as part of a relationship. I can totally see how it is enjoyable to just talk for hours with someone over skype and via the internet, but I don't think it would work for me at all. I'd have to be able to hug my partner to really commit I think.

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I felt similar in my relationship, but it didn't sway me out of love at all. I let words of affirmation take the place of how physical and aggressively loving I wanted to be with her along with the vow that I would come and rescue her personally soon enough.

I once contested that the first time I hugged her would cause me to faint.

Both of my relationships started out online. The first one didn't work out after less than a year because he got emotional that I couldn't visit him for Christmas (I was 17 and the parents wouldn't allow me to go off to another country like that) so he ended up breaking it off. I was depressed for a while and it took some years to fully get over but now I look back on it and laugh at how manipulative and overall disgusting of a person he was.

My current relationship, which I've been in for 3.5 years, also started online. We've visited several times and I stayed over for a week+ at a time.. it's been going pretty great. :') Honestly though, if this one were to not work out for whatever reason I doubt I'd do another online relationship again. My desire to travel and move to the other side of the world would make it difficult for that sort of thing to last; if I were to find someone else to date at this point, it would be in the country I choose to settle down in (which won't be the US, where I currently live). Luckily my current boyfriend is willing to come with me once he gets his passport but it's not so easy for a lot of people, haha.

Online relationships can be nice because I feel like I bond with people easier if we start off talking online. Can't really pinpoint why but it makes me more comfortable that way (at least here in NYC. Just not interested in getting to know many people, eugh).

Never even got close to an online relationship. I've never ever been in a normal relationship either; chances are even rarer than a Gen 4/5 Shiny. I don't think I'd ever get close in a lifetime.

My significant other and I met online. I was working for a game and he was playing it. We spent a lot of time watching anime and other shows online together, talking a ton, etc. We were fortunate enough to be an hour and a half plane ride from one another so although expensive it wasn't impossible to manage. We had several visits and got to do a lot of fun things during these visits. He even flew down for my birthday weekend on a whim for me, and came for my sister's wedding.

In the present we live together though. We share an apartment and go to the same university. I have to be honest and say that I don't find relationships easy but I do love him and he has loved me at my worst and at my best.

Online relationships aren't for everyone, and simply because it's online doesn't mean you cannot have any physical contact. If you can visit one another you can get that (although it's not constant). To me it was always worth it, no matter how much it hurt to be apart. It takes a special person to follow through with this sort of thing, but after dating a fair few of people who I met IRL who I just didn't have much in common with I was open to the idea of dating someone with whom I had a lot of shared interests. That is one thing about being online - you can meet like minded people as you're mostly sorted through interests.

I will never judge anyone who has met their partner online - to me love is love. Casual dating is fairly difficult online though, I can't picture myself "testing the waters" with various people online. It's a bigger commitment thing in my experience.

Senusret said:

I was a God to her and she didn't have the self-esteem to handle that.

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Pardon me for suddenly intruding, but please tell me that this is some sort of a joke. It seems unhealthily narcissistic of you to say that someone considered you as some sort of omniscient being. I am sure you know your ex-girlfriend better than I but that still does not give you the right to speak in her place, especially on the topic of what she thought of you. Judging by your other posts in this thread, I am not particularly surprised why you do not know the reason why she left you. Perhaps instead of putting words in her mouth, you should analyze yourself and ponder if you ever went out of line.

As for the topic: no, I have not been in an online relationship yet. That sort of thing is almost impossible for me because I only develop romantic feelings to a person I genuinely know--something that I cannot achieve over the internet. Of course, I cannot say for sure what the future holds. :p