What would the characters never EVER say (not in a million years)?

Example:

Ash: Dammit, Pikachu! You should've beaten that Panpour! I hate you.

P.S. Try not to be so hateful here. You can make fun of them but still...

Ash: i finally completed a pokemon league.

Ash: Aaargh! Why pikachu Why?! Why won't you take the friggin thunderstone!!! Pikachu:pikapi!(why won't you take it!)

Ash: The truth is that I don't age because I'm a Timelord.

Ash: When is that darn Pidgeot ever going to come back?

Cameron:"I only beat Ash because of sheer dumb luck"

Ash: "After all this time I finally did it, I'm a champion."

Ash: "MM..I wanna eat you like an animaaallll."

Ash: I'm gonna use a better Pokémon than Pikachu!

This is more of a game than a discussion, so I'm going to pop it in Pokémon Trivia. :3

Cilan: I'm better than Brock!

Ash: I'm going to let my pokemon evolve into their way stronger forms!

Ash: Holy crap! My female companion wants to date me!

Cilan: "It's indecision time! "

Iris: "You're such an adult."

Ash: "I should probably evolve my Pokémon..."

Brock: EEEWWW girls are gross.

Falkner: My dad is so uncool.
Bugsy: AAAAA! SPIDER! GET IT OFF ME!
Morty: I'm sleeping with the light on tonight. I'm scared of the ghosts that live under my bed.
Chuck: I'll take a 2-week vacation from training.
Winona: Why fly when you can travel by car?
Steven: Digging for rocks? I might break a nail. (What kind of guy worries about breaking a nail?)
Tucker: Barber, I want a manly crew cut.
Gardenia: I'm going to give that Gastly a big hug!
Candice: It's cold out...I should put on a snowsuit.
Lucian: I didn't read the book. I only watched the movie.
Burgh: I gave up painting. Now I do stick figures.
Brycen: I'll wear a shirt when inside my Gym.
Roxie: Can you turn down the music please?
Marlon: HELP! I'M DROWNING!
Ghetsis: I'm going to donate money to help children in need.

Youngster: I like wearing long pants, even in the summer.
Lass: Clefairy are ugly. I prefer Koffing.
Hiker: I love being indoors!
Pokemon Breeder: GROSS! Get that disgusting Baby Pokemon away from me!
Swimmer: I think I'll surf on my Pokemon today.
Ace Trainer: Victory Road? Mommy, I'm scared!
Pokemaniac: Want to see my collection of Pidgey and Rattata?

Red: I'm the worst trainer ever!
Ash: I've hit puberty.

Barry: Slow down! Geez...
Hugh: Who cares about leaving your Pokemon alone? It'll come back.
Colress: DEEEERRRRRRRRRP
N: I love you, dad
Ghetsis: I love you too, son.
Zekrom: Meow.
Silver: Awwwww, who's a good Hoppip? You are!
Crasher Wake: Maybe I won't suplex this Wailord

Pikachu/Piplup: "I want to evolve now!"
Ash: "Wow, all these girls I traveled with fell in love with me..."
Youngster Joey: "My Rattata is in the bottom percentage of Rattata!"
Ash: "I should catch a legendary... probably Terrakion."
Ash: "I'm now 11 years old!"
Cilan: "I should teach my Crustle Stealth Rock and Spikes and give it a Custap Berry!"
Brock: "I should give my Chansey an Eviolite!"
Max: "Ash, I challenge you to a battle!"
Jessie and James: "We'll never get Pikachu, so let's leave the twerps alone!"

Ash: "Don't treat me like I'm ten years old. Because I'm NOT!"
Prof. Oak: "It may be a good idea to give Nurse Joy a Pokedex. So I could get data more quickly than trusting this wanna-be-Pokemon-Master!"
Jassie & James: "Let's be competent and stop following this annoying brat!"
Jassie & James: "It seems this time you are the one blasting off!"
Jassie & James: "Screw the rules, we have Pikachu!"
Misty: "I remembered you crashing my bike. Since that time much stuff happened; so, do you have money to by me a new one Ash, yet?"
Pikachu: "Raichu!"

Ash: It's seriously time I cashed my chips in and called it quits.

or

Ash: Was dropping out of school really worth all this?

Nurse Joy: "Brock, will you be my husband?"
Cilan: "Being a connoisseur detective is boring!"