Serious Grief and bereavement

[Sweet Serenity]

Maybe some users here have dealt with a loss of a loved one. With that being said, I ask for advice. How exactly do you manage to deal with grief and bereavement? My mom passed away eight years ago, which seriously devastated me. Back when I was younger, my mom and I used to visit many places, be it for food or entertainment. After she passed, I would often visit these places to relive those memories, but over time, many of these places have permanently shut down, especially since COVID happened. I would also keep gifts that she gave me over the years to cherish her memory. Yet, there is something about the places we used to visit permanently shutting down, and the gifts that she gave me not working anymore that is really devastating to me. It feels a lot like these things are passing away along with her. As a result, it has been kind of difficult to handle the grief.

Recently, I had an interesting dream about her. I dreamt that she was still alive, apparently, and we were traveling around the country. Just like she preferred in real life, it was late at night, like around 2:00 AM, because the freeways had much less traffic around that time. Sometime during the trip, she got terminally ill. I was supposed to have been 12 in the dream, but I was still able to drive just like now, so I took her to the hospital in some city we traveled through, where she spent a good amount of time. I kept in touch with the doctors, and there, I was told that she wasn't expected to make it. The hospital still had COVID restrictions in the dream, so I couldn't stay with her overnight, so I went back and just started driving around with nowhere to go, thinking about what the doctors told me and what I would do if I lost her. However, much to my surprise, I received the news that she made a full recovery, and she was able to be released from the hospital. I went to pick her up in the car that she used to drive in real life when she was alive, and we resumed our travels around the country. I told her that I wouldn't know what I would have done if I lost her, and she said that she wasn't going anywhere. Of course, I eventually had to wake up and return to reality where she isn't with me anymore. She has been on my mind a lot lately. My grandmother used to keep her memory alive by sharing positive stories about her throughout the years, but my grandma passed two years ago. When people die, they take all their memories with them.

I still have other relatives to keep me company, such as my dad, my big sister, cousins, and so on, and I currently stay with my favorite roommate. Yet, my big sister has been really busy lately, as are my aunts and uncles. It's great to have them around, but it just doesn't seem like anything can fill the void of losing a parent. I don't know what to do.

 

[Alex_Among_Foxes]

The dreams you have, where you see your loved one again... Those are the best dreams, aren't they? Makes it so waking up is worse than death sometimes...
I've said it once before, but I'm going to say it again... I'm sorry for your loss Serenity.

 

[Lavender]

Man, I can't imagine how that would feel. I hope you feel better, Serenity!

 

[Fact Checking Gardevoir]

I can't imagine how you must feel, Sweet Serenity, but I am very sorry for your loss. I would say that while there are no perfect things to do, but what you can do in such situation is to cherish the good memories you have, and have loved ones to be there for you and support you.
*Big hug*

 

[Zeostar]

My dad has already passed away, so I would describe my greatest fear being something bad happening to my mom. I don't want to be without any parents. I'm not ready to know what that's going to feel like.

I lost all my grandparents too. This was the first instance I actually sat there and had to watch as somebody passed away, and I don't particularly know the words to describe it. Got picked up from school for an emergency, later to learn "Grandma's dying". We played songs at her death bed and held her hands. She lost the ability to speak and her skin turned a yellowish color. I was very close with her. This one hurt.

We lost our childhood cat and dog within the same 24 hour span. (Believe they were murdered. Had an odd neighbor who displayed extremely aggressive behavior towards animals).

I could go on. Point being - grief isn't easy and it's okay not to feel okay. It's fine to mourn a parent. I don't think there's a solid answer on 'how we should grieve' but it is totally okay to grieve. I am sorry for the loss you've experienced with a parent, and I hope that you can solace through the difficult time.

 

[Cosmega]

Man, that dream is brutal. I'm terribly sorry for your loss. I have relatives of mine that died, but most of them either died when I was too young to remember them or I didn't have that big of an emotional bond with them to really get to me. That being said, it's always sad when a relative dies, and when somebody close to me eventually passes away, you bet me and my anxiety are gonna mourn for the rest of the year!
Again, very sorry for your loss. I can't even imagine how you're feeling right now.

 

[Corrin]

My step father passed away in 2021 and we were really close. I still miss him. Time takes away some of the pain, but our love for them remains. It's OK to shed tears and grief, it's a way of healing.