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View Full Version : Eli's Poetry Thread- Yes, she's back. XD


Eliana
December 5th, 2005, 07:13 AM
And better than ever! I don't know if I'm allowed to revive my older poetry thread, but I don't want to since I'm actually editing all my older poems so they look better. So I'm going to start by posting some newer stuff because it's better...XD
Keep in mind, I'm going through a writer's block, so if you don't see anything new from me soon, that's why.
Also, guys, please don't just come in here and say "Oh it was good" XD I like SOME creative criticizm! XD Thanks!

Now, this is a song I wrote a while back, but it's still pretty recent.
Enjoy it peeps, and I may edit it sometime:

The End Is Now

Welcome to the present, the Age of a Nightmare.
Where you’re greeted with glares and cigarette lighters.
Our home sweet home, our humble hell.
The government’s s***, everything’s swell.
Enjoy the gunshots while they last,
Though you better watch out for the broken glass.
Stay up late and watch the news,
More killing, harassing, child abuse…

The End Is Now, you better run,
Before they track you with their guns.
The End Is Now, you better hide,
Before they kill you, before you die.
THE END IS NOW.

Once you enter there’s no leaving.
There’s no way out, no redeeming.
Why would you go, why would you run?
Don’t you love being shunned?
Enjoy the riots before they end…
Though you better be careful, you may end up dead…

The End Is Now, you better run,
Before they track you with their guns.
The End Is Now, you better hide,
Before they kill you, before you die.
THE END IS NOW.

THE END IS NOW.

IvySaur
December 5th, 2005, 08:32 AM
Aww. I really like this a lot. It reminds me of the 'bad side' of my town, especially the part about the glares and people smoking. Everyone's so paranoid right now about EVERYTHING.

I think the meaning that stood out to me the most was 'So many bad things are happening around you, everywhere. It could be happening to your best friend. The person next to you could have been a victim of a personal tragedy. And yet, the world is so shallow sometimes that no one wants do do anything.'

Absolutely beautiful.

Oh, and Kudos to Green Day for you.

Eliana
December 5th, 2005, 08:43 AM
Thanks so much! Finally someone who actually understands what they're talking about XD Yeah, I wrote it sort of as a take of from American Idiot. I think I did a decent job. XD I'm writing a few songs to sequel the song, like this one. It kinda needs some fixing up, but I think I can still post it:

I’m Not You

F*** off and leave.
‘Cause you’re not like me.
Bringing me down every time you get chance,
I’ve had enough and I won’t let this last.
You won’t change me, nothing can.
I’m the Rebel Without a Name and I’m taking a stand.

I’m not you, I’m not you.
You can’t tell me what to do.
Your dreams aren’t mine,
And this isn’t your life.
So I’ll just keep telling you, until you get... that I’M NOT YOU.

Why can’t you see?
You’re not like me.
We’re not the same.
I won’t play your f***ing game.
Your abuse will stop, you went too far.
I’m waiting to see you behind some bars.
So sick of you, so sick of this.
You won’t be something I’m gonna miss.

I’m not you, I’m not you.
You can’t tell me what to do.
Your dreams aren’t mine,
And this isn’t your life.
So I’ll just keep telling you, until you get that I’M NOT YOU.

I’m not you, isn’t it great?
Think you can relate…
But you can’t.
So stop your stupid rant…

I’m not you, I’m not you.
You can’t tell me what to do.
Your dreams aren’t mine,
And this isn’t your life.
So I’ll just keep telling you, until you get that I’M NOT YOU.

IvySaur
December 5th, 2005, 01:39 PM
Thanks so much! Finally someone who actually understands what they're talking about XD Yeah, I wrote it sort of as a take of from American Idiot. I think I did a decent job. XD I'm writing a few songs to sequel the song, like this one. It kinda needs some fixing up, but I think I can still post it:

Im Not You

F*** off and leave.
Cause youre not like me.
Bringing me down every time you get chance,
Ive had enough and I wont let this last.
You wont change me, nothing can.
Im the Rebel Without a Name and Im taking a stand.

Im not you, Im not you.
You cant tell me what to do.
Your dreams arent mine,
And this isnt your life.
So Ill just keep telling you, until you get... that IM NOT YOU.

Why cant you see?
Youre not like me.
Were not the same.
I wont play your f***ing game.
Your abuse will stop, you went too far.
Im waiting to see you behind some bars.
So sick of you, so sick of this.
You wont be something Im gonna miss.

Im not you, Im not you.
You cant tell me what to do.
Your dreams arent mine,
And this isnt your life.
So Ill just keep telling you, until you get that IM NOT YOU.

Im not you, isnt it great?
Think you can relate
But you cant.
So stop your stupid rant

Im not you, Im not you.
You cant tell me what to do.
Your dreams arent mine,
And this isnt your life.
So Ill just keep telling you, until you get that IM NOT YOU.

It kind of reminded me a lot of Billie Joe's American Idiot style, a lot. I like.

I like this one. It reminds me of my parents. They have really old fashioned rules, because that's how their parents were. I hate it because those kind of people are just trying to turn us into little clones of them. Trying to make themselves look good. I hate it.

Can I add you to my friends list?

Eliana
December 5th, 2005, 02:55 PM
SURE! O_O You pwn!

Yeah that's what I was getting at. Parents don't support your dreams...XD
I wrote this in 5 minutes or so, I was EXTREMELY pissed. I wrote it like an hour ago.

Lies

Here you go, yet again, once more.
Same old story that I now abhor.
Does the word “guilt” mean nothing in your eyes?
All I see in you is nothing but lies.
Have you no shame in any form?
Or is this who you are, just a trivial thorn?

This drives me to the edge of sanity.
Where are your flaws? When is your calamity?
When is the end of your f***ing dynasty?
Will you realize the definition of “honesty”?
Or are you just an empty shell,
Who deserves to rot, to burn in hell?

Don’t expect forgiveness to rise,
If you continue your God D***ed burning lies.
Why can’t you admit that you’re wrong?
I’ll accept your apology, but not for long…

I’ll say the truth- you’re lost inside.
That’s why you conceal the truth in lies.
But you can’t hide from the world, you can’t hide from yourself.
But that’s what your doing, a pathetic cry for help.

Or is it attention that you seek?
You want the spotlight, but you’re too weak.
Too weak to make a real attempt.
Too weak to speak the truth to your friends.

But it’s over and I’ve proven why.
Yet you persist, continue to lie.
You’ve done the damage now pay the price.
This is what you get for your petty lies.

I’ll give you a few, to admit your sin.
If you deny it… then you’ll never win.
You’re empty and weak, through my eyes.
All that’s left is your f***ing lies.

IvySaur
December 5th, 2005, 03:07 PM
SURE! O_O You pwn!

Yeah that's what I was getting at. Parents don't support your dreams...XD
I wrote this in 5 minutes or so, I was EXTREMELY pissed. I wrote it like an hour ago.

You seem to like writing about how shallow people are, haha.
I think this one is about how some people have an opinion and they'll scream about it and rant, but never do anything about it. (I did that today, only I have absolutely no control over the situation, I don't even know the people involved *hides*)

Eliana
December 5th, 2005, 04:21 PM
You seem to like writing about how shallow people are, haha.
I think this one is about how some people have an opinion and they'll scream about it and rant, but never do anything about it. (I did that today, only I have absolutely no control over the situation, I don't even know the people involved *hides*)
Well, there's no way for you to know what it is about. XD It's actually something specific that happened to me, about a certain person lying.

Night-Kun
December 6th, 2005, 02:36 PM
Wow Eli, Great job.. I wub them!! <333 Very nice work *continues convo on messenger* 'Cause I'm lazy like that XD

Eliana
December 8th, 2005, 05:36 PM
Awws, thanks! <3 I'm in the process of writing something...in the mean time I'll show you all a song:

Too Much

Tore us to pieces, ripped us apart.
This time you really went too far.
Yeah, you crossed the line of Life and Death
Thought you'd come out alive when you really met the end.
You thought you won, thought you were at the top,
Well it looks like you were really WRONG.

Chorus
Go home, you're not wanted anymore,
Pack up your bags, there's the f***ing door,
There's nothing left to say, you said enough.
See you in hell, you're just too much.

You lost your chance; it's not my problem now.
Go bother someone else in the crowd;
Someone who cares, who will put up with your S**t.
I sure as hell don't, and never did.
So farewell, goodbye, parting's sweet joy;
Time you left into the black, cold, void.

Chorus

Yeah, run for your life, 'cause it's running out.

Chorus

phantom_zangetsu
December 9th, 2005, 11:20 PM
well heres a new twist in poetry...a good poem for someone who feels down and hated by the world...oh...like me... well i really liked it alot it was so,so awesome!! 95/100 dude, hope to see more poems from the green day fan!!!
rock on!!

Eliana
December 20th, 2005, 04:10 PM
Aww thanks ^_^

I have a song version of a poem I wrote recently, so enjoy XD

Drugs That Numb The Pain (Song Version)

Gray clouds fog my sense of time.
F*** reality- logic died.
My mind begins to slip away.
Sanity's useless anyways.
Just left go- Close your eyes.
Get away from all the lies...

Before you reach-- your demise...

Forget...the truth-- It doesn't matter anymore.
Shut it...All out-- The life that you tried to ignore...
Leave it all behind...you can't stand being unheard..
In this lie you call a world.

Escape from here in your illusions.
Nothing's left- just delusion.
Run far away from this dimension.
Feel the panic-- Feel the tension.
Peace is closer than it seems.
Fall into- your endless dreams...

Before you can't-- Be redeemed...

Forget...the truth-- It doesn't matter anymore.
Shut it...All out-- The life that you tried to ignore...
Leave it all behind...you can't stand being unheard..
In this lie you call a world.

Zerro
December 22nd, 2005, 08:01 PM
Wow you are really good, I liked your last one alot. It reminds me of the story behind one of my poems. Keep it up your awesome.

Cybex Mewtwo
December 23rd, 2005, 06:45 AM
Sweet...so very sweet. what a vengance! Back on top. XD Excellent work.

Sorye HK
December 27th, 2005, 07:06 AM
Honestly, I love the easy follow along rythm to it.. But the words rather.. *still childish*

Intuition
December 27th, 2005, 08:18 AM
I like your poems alot. You write them about problems in the world, maybe even problems of yourself, and that's what makes them good. People can see themselfs or realise things in your poems. Keep up the good work :) I hope to see more of you soon!

Eliana
January 15th, 2006, 09:49 AM
Ack *revives the stupid thread* xD

Thanks all.

Kay so Eli went political.

I have 2 but I'll post one for now. They're kinda violent, so you have been warned.

Faces of the Doomed

Faces…of…the Doomed…

Smell the blood of innocents
Sacrificed as vulnerable militants.
You said “They died for their country”
But they died for absolutely nothing.
Look at their families- WHAT HAVE YOU DONE?
(THEY WILL NEVER BE THE SAME ONCE THEIR LOVED ONES ARE GONE)

Your apathy spawns terrorism.
Death showers made from your so-called “heroism”.
Bodies on the streets without a tomb-
Look at your victims- Faces of the Doomed.

Read the writings on the wall
“Only death” as missiles fall.
This war is useless, worthless blood-shed.
Bullets echo through this death-fest.
Look at the agony- DO YOU EVEN CARE?
(IT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME ONCE YOU SPARKED THE FLARE)

Your apathy spawns terrorism.
Death showers made from your so-called “heroism”.
Bodies on the streets without a tomb-
Look at your victims- Faces of the Doomed.

Look at your creation, you’re so f***ing proud.
Too proud to see your own death clouds
That are about to kill us all.
Kill us all, yeah- but you don’t care,
You don’t f***ing care.

Your apathy spawns terrorism.
Death showers made from your so-called “heroism”.
Bodies on the streets without a tomb-
Look at your victims- Faces of the Doomed.

FACES…OF…THE DOOMED.

Thomas
January 15th, 2006, 09:59 AM
Very nicely written Eli! Lots of emotion, it is a good poem, and good rhyme scheme!

Eliana
January 15th, 2006, 04:54 PM
w00t. Thanks Thomas ^_^

This is another one I wrote shortly after~

Silence Only Fans The Flames

(SILENCE…)
(HATRED…)
(ANGER…)
…ONLY FAN THE F*****G FLAMES!

You say you’re mute, you say you’re dumb.
(WE KNOW BETTER.)
Where the f*** are you gonna run?
(RUN!?)
RUNNING FROM THE BITTER TRUTH YOU HATE.
Time to face your GOD ****ED FATE.


‘Cause silence only fans the flames.
**** the s*** the government claims.
Take a STAND, make a CHANGE.
‘CAUSE YOUR SILENCE ONLY FANS THE FLAMES.

You say you’re scared, you can’t go on.
(WE KNOW YOU’RE WRONG.)
Did you know you won’t last long?
(YOU’LL BE GONE.)
‘Cause your problems are gonna fade away.
(WHY?!)
‘CAUSE YOU’LL BE DEAD SOON ANYWAYS.

‘Cause silence only fans the flames.
**** the s*** the government claims.
Take a STAND, make a CHANGE.
‘CAUSE YOUR SILENCE ONLY FANS THE FLAMES.

Silence fans these f*****g flames,
The governments’ lies and f*****g games.
Silence only fans the flames...
And all you do is sit and wait…
(You sit and f*****g wait…)


Silence…Anger….Violence….Hatred…