JX Valentine

Hey, just thought I'd drop by and say hi.

Oh God...

It's worse...

I'm still reading that story I told you about, and the Mary-Sue gets kidnapped into slavery to pile on more angst, and her owners treat her better than the other slaves because she's so pretty.

She also kills a nun by randomly making said nun explode in fire, but doesn't get arrested/carted away as a witch. Nope. The nuns at the monastery are suddenly found to be THE EVIL PEOPLE and are burned at the stake.

Nuns burned at the stake. Not the Mary-Sue who's running around setting people on fire and making her babies teleport and can talk to dragons.

Yet I can't turn away from it.

Instead of spamming your page ("wall"), I'll just keep editing this message as I read through the rest of the story. So it's going to be all over the place.

So, the author of this gem got some constructive criticism. Like, good basic constructive criticism. Telling her that the point of view she chose isn't the best, and that she really needs to get a better grasp of her plot because it's all over the place.

I shouldn't have to tell you what the response was to the criticism. But I'll give you a hint: It wasn't the "let-me-fight-back-and-perhaps-flounce" response.

The story is beginning to remind me of Twilight, only if Bella had cloned herself and got in a relationship with her clone, and they whined about everything together. Which wouldn't be too horrible. Maybe if Alice joined in, but I'm just rambling now.

Critic told her to include descriptions of the characters. (Guess she missed the picture of white-'fro'd-Orlando Bloom?) The first description included in the story was of blond Orlando. It was "handsome head". I laughed at my screen, and was further reminded of SMeyer.

There's a "manservant" by the name of Orson. Oh dear Lord.

It's like reading a soap opera. Everyone's related to everyone, and the drama never stops. Also, everyone in the entire world is after the main female character to either kill her, hate her, steal her, kidnap her, or make love to her. Make it stop, please.

Every male is described as handsome. Every single one.

This line, my goodness. This is the kind of story I'm reading here. "All of the women that they purchased at the same time as I was had their 'virginity' restored to them magically."

This entry deserves to be shared. It's supposed to be dramatic and shocking and romantic, but it just caused me to laugh at how absurd it is.

Everyone is in love with the main female character, but she doesn't think she's so pretty. Right...

Also, there's CAPSLOCKS OF RAGE!!1!

o.O

Why is no one happy in this story? Why is everyone's life so full of dramatic angst?!

Oh thank God, I finally finished. It's boring, a self-insert Mary-Sue drama fest that reminds me of a worse Twilight, and it might have ruined the fantasy genre for me for a while. Now I really really need to find a new good story to read.

Thanks. :) I think I may have already found someone. One of my other friends just logged in. :D Your luck is magic. O.O

Oh, dang it... *sigh* Thanks anyway.

Hey can you give me an IV battle really quick?

Sorry for the long delay but I've sent Chapter 3 for betaing to your e-mail. Thanks in advance!

Deleted message is a message from me saying that my regular laptop died. (I think what finally did it in was Andy and Angel synchronized-dancing in the bathroom as their three kids fled from the house screaming.) And so I decided that since I had the time, I would respond to the rest of your message, so I went to edit the message, and my mother's laptop hates PC so things got screwed up. So I deleted the original message, and started a new one.

Ugh, drinking a quart of limonade makes me have to pee something terrible. :(

Since my laptop exploded on the 25th, I haven't been here at all until today/last night. So if anything happened during those days, I have no idea about anything. I do know what you're talking about though, and I can answer that I wasn't in on it.

It's okay. We have an open relationship. Go out and get your hookers to satisfy you, since I'm laptopless. (Please hope my mother doesn't look at PC and see this. Otherwise, life will be extremely awkward for me.) I have Andy/Angel smut to keep me happy.

1. I notice that when the mod is away, the noobs come to play. If the orange sheep's fic is bumped, I'm closing it. And when she asks if I can open the thread again, I'll conveniently lose the PM.

3. I'm unsure whether to answer with a sarcastic mean "Keep telling yourself that. It might come true some day." But we all know that that's just me refusing to openly admit that the sexy thought of you reading my message was enough to kill my mind.

2. The customers at my store are mean. They chase me around the parking lot in their cars, and the only thing I have for a defense mechanism are my fast little (not so little, actually, my height is all leg) legs.

4. I found them, and wanted to share them for the lulz, but right now...wrong computer.

Speaking of sharing things for the "lulz", I've been reading a story the past few days that has a Mary-Sue with an angsty past, a Gary-Sue who's madly in love with her, and a [css-span="text-decoration:blink; text-shadow: 1px 1px silver;"]TIME TRAVELING BABBY[/css-span]! It's weird, and I'll work on the summary while I'm staring at the ceiling.

The Sims of TS3 frighten me, and make faces as if they had seizures while doing drugs and were hit by a bus. Their faces are made of pudding. I still swear that I won't be able to make an Angel sim in TS3, since pudding can not be molded to a real thin face. Also, Scott has cheekbones like woah that are not made out of pudding.

Don't call me m'dear. >(

Ma'am. (Totally not implying a Dom/Sub relationship here. Totally.)

And the answer is: when the previous version gets corrupted on my laptop. That's how I got the Sims 2. I was playing the first Sims, and when I went to save my families, it wouldn't work. So I got TS2 instead. If my TS2 gets corrupted, then I'm going to search high and low for a new copy, because the Wiggin family does not look good with pudding faces. (Darn Angel's thin face.)

Edit: I was reading a comment about oppositional-defiant disorder, and the description of it made me think of Peter. That lead me to remember Card's statement that the Wiggin parents (the canon ones, not the pixelated dancing ones) actually knew about the abuse Val and Andrew were getting from Peter, instead of not knowing. My only response at the time was to stare in horror at my screen/book (it's mentioned in Ender in Exile because that just totally blew my mind. I'm trying to figure out what purpose John Paul and Theresa had for allowing their oldest son to mentally/physically/(and perhaps sexually in the case of Val) their younger kids.

Oh, Card. When you want to be crazy, you really know how to do so.

Lol, thanks ;)

Heheh, same way here. I am surprised that I don't have a name, as I take super long showers.

Hey, Jax, what do you do for inspiration?

Lol, don't be silly. Of course I'm not being... well, of course I'm, not taking it that way... you know what I mean. I'm just a little annoyed with the world right now. ^^

Don't call me 'm'dear' ¬¬

After all the strife, I finally stood up and did it myself. I have asked Sonic Angel for permission for Dawn the Rabbit so we can finally put the matter to rest.

You know, I really did know all this all ready. Besides, the proper place for a review of a review shouldn't be in the story thread, PM or VM it to me, because it doesn't need to be cluttering up someone's story

okay, but geez, you don't need to VM me that you replied.

EDIT: I have a problem with my eyesight, plus, the fact that I'm really tired right now, as I was when I wrote the review, so that's probably why there's so many misspellings. And I didn't rush the review, jsut to let it be heard, it actually took me quite a long time.

I'm considering taking the anxiety pills (half of them) today since nothing's going on and I'd be able to test out how I react to them.

XD It's a good thing you're not brain-dead. How else would you continue to write your fanfic with a dead brain? =OO

And in another news, my hand is asleep and I think the sensation just wriggled its way up my arm.

I apologize for the late reply...

Thanks again for beta'ing my fic.

I really appreciate it.

:D

I see... that does not sound like it's for me. xD
Not to mention, I'm really not that big on reading unprofessional writing. Usually the grammar errors are just too much for me. D: On the other hand, I am reading Autistic Lucario's fanfic right now (can't wait for the next release =D) and I must say that he is fantastic with grammar. But I'm such a jackass that I've still managed to notice a typo here and there. D:

O.o Never heard of it.

Hey, you know you qualify for the "Veterans" emblem, right?