Sopheria

I more slapped it open handed than punched it, I would have surely broken my knuckles if I had hit it like I did with a clenched fist. My hand was red and stinging for a few hours.

My foot is all swollen and hard to walk on, because I stomped the ground when I slapped the wall. It hurtsssssssssss :c

Ok! I think we did get off on the wrong foot. I forgive you and I will be glad to be friends with you. Let's just not mention the Big Bang theory and creation for a while now (maybe longer than that). So, I say we should forget that thread never was created and leave it in the dust. Soooo, is it ok of I send you a little friend request?

I should probably go apologize to the wall in my hallway...

I hate feeling panicked and hopeless, and it's common for me to feel that way right now. Talking things out like we did really helps me through it. Because when thoughts get jumbled in my head I overthink stuff and things seem worse than they are.

My foot still hurts, I'm hobbling around my house like a fool.

I have. When I talked to you I took a step back and realized there's only one real obstacle instead of 100, and I have a great therapist to help me out and she already has.

:)

I hope that name doesn't stick xD

Me included? xD

I am on the inside at least. Outside soon...

Sorry, I had to eat dinner.

My mom and sister during dinner: Us girls are just emotional wrecks.

Me: Trust me... I know this.

They have no clue.

It all comes down to them.

Really, I thought there were so many obstacles. There is really only 1 obstacle, and it's if they prevent me from doing what I need to do.

In that case, I'll just leave and find stuff out myself.

So it basically remains as... me getting there. Whether it's my parents or some other way, I'll go there eventually. Mark my words, world!

She is, I'm glad I stayed there for a little longer and met her... we're in contact with that LGBT organization so there's that too. We talked to them and there are a lot of options for me to go even if my insurance doesn't get accepted.

That's if my parents don't help me, and there's still options for me if they don't.

My therapist is from my christian college and she said she'd help explain some things. Because I know my parents are against homosexuality, but me being transgendered would still be technically straight (even though I'm some mix of bisexual/pansexual and not strictly attracted to men) so there's that.

I think her explaining stuff will be very very helpful.

My mom has really been pushing the 'you're 18 you can make your own decisions' so I see that being a possible reaction from her. Another could be her religious bs and being totally against it. My dad will probably want nothing to do with me or make it impossible for me to do it.

They both said this morning that they'd love and support me no matter what. My mom said she didn't support me quitting school but she would let me do it anyways, I'm gonna stay there for my therapist and then take a leave of absence later.

My only fear is that they'll purposefully try to prevent me from getting help.

If they accept me... all my issues are gone. I'll go to the LGBT place that my therapist and I contacted and work on getting the help I need.

If they don't, I'm in the same position. But I'll be away from them, which is a plus.

How did your parents react, if I may ask. Sorry if it's too personal.

Hopefully they'll just accept me and help me.

If not though... I'll probably be without a house. With no job or a car or any money at all.

And my therapist will be there when I say it... she suggested it so she can be a 'cool head' during it all.

It's my only option at this point... I can't stay like this. It's a complete stalemate.

Me and my dad have a bad past as is. I'm not too fond of him and he scares the crap out of me. There's a hole in a door in my house from him that's a constant reminder of his rage.

He was questioning me about why I was so sad. And I told them I'd tell them why in a few weeks. And then he said that.

My dad accused me of being gay. That was fun. /sarcasm

All the anger would go away if I could express myself freely irl