3rd Gen Hoenn/Kanto Journey Journal - Want to share your travelling stories?

It's been three hours since I fell out of the back of a moving van and into the Hoenn region. Many things have happened in those three hours: I moved into a new house; I got a clock; I found someone had hacked my PC and put a Potion in it; I met a ditzy hot professor, his ditzy wife, their hot but mildly sexist son and their small child of indeterminate gender. I also met some homeless people. I received a male Torchic from the hot prof in return for saving him from a baby Zigzagoon. I named my Torchic Turlough and trained him as we walked through Oldale to find the mildly sexist son. Turlough wiped the floor with the sexist son's Mudkip,so the boy and his dad gave me some balls and a Pokédex.

My mother then dug my only pair of shoes out of a box and sent me off on an adventure with no food or supplies. Should have expected that from the woman who locked me in the dark with furniture and no safe seating for the entire ferry journey and drive over. I didn't even have time to use my new room. Or enjoy my clock.

I caught a Zigzagoon named Nyssa on the way to Petalburg. I was going to just stop at the Petalburg PokéCentre but somebody trying to promote tourism or some crap made me go see Dad. He rambled a bit and midway through his boring-ass leader lecture he was interrupted by this weak-looking kid called Wally who apparently was sneaking behind his mollycoddling parents' backs to get a Pokémon before the simpering halfwits shipped him off to Verdanturf. you go, kiddo.

Dad made me help him go catch a 'mon but really I just stood back and watched Wally do the work. Kid's a natural, in my professional opinion. Also I'm lazy. He ended up with a Ralts, thanked Dad and I profusely for doing absolutely nothing, then left for Verdanturf. Good luck to him, I say. Dad finally finished his leader lecture and told me to bugger off. Fine by me.

I wandered around and had a philosophy session with a dude by the big lake. Then I tried to leave Petalburg again but this time got stopped by some dude in stupid-looking shades who basically told me I wasn't worth his time because I didn't have any potential. Gonna kick his ass when I find him next, you wait.

Caught me a Marill named Jamie and a Shroomish named Ace, then met some dude wandering dazed in the forest looking for a Shroomish. I bet I know why he was looking for one, what with the nervousness and paranoia. Although that might have been partially for other reasons, seeing as how he was jumped by a dude in some flash trousers. Being a useless Devon desk worker, he immediately shoved me into the fray and I beat the mugger's ass. Apparently he's part of a team, but if they're all as crap as him there's nothing to worry about. The Devon wimp gave me some ball as a thank-you and then scurried off.

Met a dude at the north end of the forest who proclaimed loudly that he likes to spit seed. Some people really need a filter. Some pretty girls running a flower shop gave me free stuff, which is always nice. And then I dragged my battered body into Rustboro and collapsed in front of the Centre, where some nice women picked me up and put me in a hotel-looking room. Apparently collapsing youth are not an unusual occurrence in these parts.

I think complete collapse from exhaustion after running almost constantly counts as a successful day, yes?