Okay, so... I guess I just need advice/venting.
Anyway I have been feeling like crap the past couple of months because my ex, who I have lived with for 2 years, was cheating on me. So now I don't really trust anyone, and will not for a long time. So, there are few gay guys, none of which I am interested, that live in town. So...I just go to the internet for dating, might I mind you my two ex's had both been cheating on me and both I "met" online. Should I just wait until I am done with school to date, after I move to a larger city?
I guess I just really miss him, I don't know how else to put it. I did everything for him, and he just tossed me aside I guess. Like literally a week before he went down state and slept with this guy, and apparently fell in love with him, he grabbed me by the head and looked me dead in the eyes and said a bunch of bs, "I love you. How did I get so lucky? I want to let you know that I would never hurt you or leave you, you have changed my life so much." I just feel like, no one is to be trusted, I am starting to hate being gay, not because of the way strangers treat/perceive me, but rather, how every guy wants to be in an open relationship. I just do not know what else I can do right. I mean, I pay bills, go to school, I am cute (so I have been told time and again not to be vainglorious, lmao), I am honest, I do everything for the other person, and I always do as they ask. Apparently, he was only sexually attracted to me, that is all. then he smiled, and started had some little 15 year old next him (he is 23) and started to just have a blast. And yeah, I don't get it. I felt like my entire life was just completely destroyed at the time, and he was just so ecstatic. Okay, my ranting is over, it probably doesn't make sense. I just think that maybe I am becoming too obsessed with being interdependent on someone else. It all just makes me soo angry that he was using me and now he is having a blast hooking up with everyone, while I am devasted, and I don't know how to just get on with life. Btw...he did give me an engagement ring, but...who knows. (he pawned it)
Okay, for cereal, I am done, lol.