Sexuality

Ooh. Nick, I'm liking your post because that's very very similar to my journey and thoughts on the matter.

Er. I don't get embarrassed by much but talking about my own feelings toward sex is one of those things but okay. Um. So, like what you said, I'm not attracted to people in terms of looking at them and thinking I'd like to bang them. But I love the way people look. I recognize and appreciate form and beauty. A lot. And the closest I can get to having others understand that is by expressing it using words with more sexual connotations like "hot" or "sexy". I don't want to bang them. I just really appreciate that they're damn good looking inside and out and want to share that.

Also, sex is interesting. And nice. Um. But I don't really get turned on by people? Like. ireadficsometimesandifitswellwrittenifindithot. But I'm not into the physical aspects. I wouldn't get into watching like actual people do the do. I don't think about the visuals, I like the emotion. Well-written stuff brings feeling and stuff into play and that's more interesting to me than what it looks like.

I really like kissing and cuddling and physical affection that's generally reserved for relationships that will have sex involved at some point. That kind of annoys me, because like... I'm not interested in having sex with anyone. I wasn't even with my last boyfriend. But to be in a relationship that would involve what I like, that's generally going to eventually lead to sex. Or at least there will probably be an expectation of sex. I don't think I want it. I just want a semi-platonic life partner who I can kiss and cuddle but not do the sex with. I mean that's not going to happen but that'd be my favourite thing.

sorry this post is kind of all over but I wanted to share?

I love boys. A lot. Skinny boys, chubby boys, boys of all colors, sizes, and everything in between. I think about guys more than I probably should. I could talk about the male body all night if I wanted to. Although I'm attracted to some women and I've had intercourse with two (while inebriated and was told I was terrible). I'm like a 5.9999999999 on the Kinsey scale I guess.

100% Straight, I'm quite happy with my wonderful, beautiful, Girlfriend! Though apparently High School was rough for her, so she's what I'd call emotionally shut-in. She doesn't mind speaking her mind, but isn't one to discuss her feelings, and I'm not one to pressure that. Besides I like the little challenge of getting her to slowly open up to me.

I'm pan, but my preferences are kind of...wonky. I lean on being more sexually attracted to women while have a slight lean for men romantically.

I'm straight all the way. I've always been attracted to pretty girls. Boys never made me feel anything emotionally. I love all of you girls :3

I guess I can say I'm straight...can't hide that I've had thoughts about what it'd be like to be gay/bisexual .-.

Gay.

Super gay.

Turbo gay.

Never has there been a man who likes other men more than I like other men.

I am questioning. I really do not know where I fit.

I'm single and not really looking for someone because I don't feel that I have room for a relationship. I've gone through one serious relationship that *did* involve sexual interaction and I've gone through a bazillion dates. But part of me tells me that i could possibly do more than just dating guys. To be honest, the whole thing is just confusing, really. I wanna say that I'm straight right now, but I'm pretty much questioning.

I'm straight.

Wish I was in some sort of relationship right about now, but I'm confused on how to approach or befriend a girl without seeming like I'm trying too hard.

It's not enough to just tell a girl you like her and be a good person, I guess. You actually have to... *gulp* ...talk to them. D:

I'm gay. Not completely out yet. It's to the extent that my friends and my cousins know about it. Everyone else? Nope. I plan to tell them when I get a place of my own since I know very well what their thoughts on homosexuality are.

If you've seen the LGBT thread in Other Clubs, I've already admitted that I'm a Genderqueer. For those who don't know, I don't associate myself towards either the Male or Female area.

I don't know if this would be steering the thread too off-course, but it seems to just be about sexuality in general so- I just wonder, what do people automatically assume about others' sexuality, and does that tie into their own? Like I personally don't even consider sexuality; I just kind of assume nobody even has sexual feelings or thoughts unless they have explicitly told/proven to me otherwise. That's probably why I don't feel like sexuality is a big deal at all. And that might be related to me being asexual; maybe I generally think others think about sex in the same way I do? Even though consciously I know that's hardly ever the case.

I assume someone is straight until they tell me otherwise.
But I also assume that everyone else also falls into the same boat as me, even though they don't. I never once considered someone looking at me in a sexual way, or someone finding me sexually attractive, because I've never looked at or found anyone else to be.

So in a way, I'm kind of like you. I assume that people don't have any sexual feelings or thoughts, but I also assume that everyone I meet is attracted to the opposite sex, probably because that's what the majority seem to be and it's the norm, so its the most logical and most likely assumption, if any at all.

Forever straight.

I don't have anything against gay/les but it's not my soup ^^;.

Team Fail said:

Pretty much all this. Being in High School still, there's all sorts of drama, and I don't want to have any distractions, although honestly, to me, it doesn't matter who I like, and it's not all the physical things in a relationship that count, either.

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Team Fail's VM to PEDRO12 said:

no homo, but i kinda miss you man. we gotta skype someday.

also text me when you can. i have unlimited i think.

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u gay bro

Patchisou Yutohru said:

I never once considered someone looking at me in a sexual way, or someone finding me sexually attractive,

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;]

ya i'm gay. prepare your anuses. i'll prepare mine.

Fine, I'll just answer that I'm straight and be done with it.

I have received propositions from gay men before and while it is flattering (hey, at least someone finds me attractive), I'm afraid I just don't swing that way. Not that I'm against gays, though, hell I was ecstatic at the SCOTUS decisions this morning.

I just wonder, what do people automatically assume about others' sexuality, and does that tie into their own?

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I try not to assume anything, but I do have a powerful gaydar, lol. I think it rude to assume someone is of a certain sexuality due to whatever mannerisms they may have, but I am highly aware that I am a huge hypocrite when I say this, lol. I consider sexuality, or lack thereof, an important part in a person and I usually want to know what sexuality a person identifies as. Not in the first conversation, of course, but over time! I like knowing whether a guy has the possibility of ever being attracted to me, although I find it incredibly hard to believe that anyone can be attracted to me, oops.

However, I tend to assume that 90% of the people I see or engage with are heterosexual, I don't have any reasoning for this aside from the 'that's the way it is' idea.

Bisexual.

:3 I think most of my friends on PC already know that.
I can not for the life of me tell what someone's sexuality is. I also don't ask. I wait until the other person is comfortable enough to share it with me.

Purple Materia said:

Kura said:

I don't understand the difference between being pansexual.. and just finding people you are emotionally into more attractive. I don't think they're the same thing. I don't randomly fawn over dudes walking on the street going "OH GOD HE'S SO HOT!! I WANNA DO HIM RIGHT NOW" like some other people. I don't think that would make me pansexual. Maybe it's just that pansexuals never get that initial spark of attraction that some others might get when seeing or meeting someone else- like the "there's something about you that intrigues me and I like it."? I am straight but then if I were bi, how would the difference apply?

Are people who are pansexual just not sexually/physically attracted to someone AT ALL until they get to know them? What turns that point from just "Nah I'm not sexually interested at all to you" to.. "wow this guy is actually really nice, I have a crush on him."???
Does it mean that someone who's pansexual absolutely will NOT find someone sexually attractive unless they know them first?

Would it apply then to someone who is only attracted to one gender?
Like can you be a straight-pansexual? or a gay-pansexual?


Don't mean to trivialize or anything, I am genuinely confused between someone who's pansexual, and someone who just prefers to know someone before getting sexually invested in them?

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For me personally, I'm pansexual. Pansexual is defined as "all genders". Basically, you're attracted to specific people, not so much their gender.

For me at least, I'm sexually attracted to females far more than males. But if I get to know a boy, I'm capable of falling in love with him despite him not being female. Once I fall in love with him, I'm sexually attracted to him. Although if I just met him, I don't really get the "omg so hawt" feeling since I don't know him, thus not emotionally attached. Make sense?

At least, that's my two cents.

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Kura:
As a pansexual let me say that being pansexual is quite frankly like being in an extremely bright room. So we like to wear "Shades" to help us filter out the extraneous input. We're attracted to everybody! We can find the elegance in just about any body you can throw at us and arouse ourselves by it. Because of this, we learn probably sooner than most, that our physical spark doesn't necessarily mean love and we must cultivate a means to prevent ourselves from indulging too much.

For most of us, our emotions towards a person serve as a guiding principal to temper our physical attractions to people. So it's common that most of us, like me, are also demisexual to some degree, and require that emotional spark to kindle our physical fires. Society doesn't exactly praise lots of activity in that way with more than one partner, so it becomes an issue of choosing one from a pool of potentials that is much larger than the average straight person would have to worry about choosing from.

Purple Materia:
I think you did a pretty good job of explaining it, but there are some who don't temper themselves by the same methods that we do, and we should recognize that. I will admit that they are uncommon enough though that it's easy to not realize they're there. Some people have a better way than others do, and may not necessarily be demisexual.

Harlequin said:

I try not to assume anything, but I do have a powerful gaydar, lol. I think it rude to assume someone is of a certain sexuality due to whatever mannerisms they may have, but I am highly aware that I am a huge hypocrite when I say this, lol. I consider sexuality, or lack thereof, an important part in a person and I usually want to know what sexuality a person identifies as. Not in the first conversation, of course, but over time! I like knowing whether a guy has the possibility of ever being attracted to me, although I find it incredibly hard to believe that anyone can be attracted to me, oops.

However, I tend to assume that 90% of the people I see or engage with are heterosexual, I don't have any reasoning for this aside from the 'that's the way it is' idea.

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My "Gaydar" is pretty well adjusted, even if it isn't always 100% accurate. Although in my personal standard practices, I tend not to pay much attention to it unless it's going "DINGDINGDINGDINGWEEEEWOOOWEEEEWOOOO THIS PERSON IS GAY/LESBIAN" and is too loud to ignore effectively. Then and only then do I launch a mental investigation and examine the "evidence" with a reasonable enough amount of attention to determine if the reading is false or misleading due to other sociocultural cues the target may be presenting.

I never understood gaydar. I mean, I have my suspicions because I think it's kind of interesting in a way to point out people you think might not meet the typical lifestyle as far as sexuality is concerned, but I don't see how there's anything you can pick up on a person short of them displaying obvious signs of sexual attraction to the same sex (like a guy getting a hard on when he's obviously checking out another guy in a locker room or something) that rings bells. What factors into gaydar?