- Start game
- Oak, really? Do you reaaallly think that I've not played this – whatever. Yes, Oak, I'm a boy. And yes, my name is Artem.
- *sigh* Look, he doesn't even remember his grandson's name. Senile old coot. It's Blue, for the record.
- Mfw "Red" and "Ash" both are name options for him...
- Finally start the blasted game.
- "The TV says all boys leave home someday..." The TV??! Since when is that a valid source of information??!
- Ok. Oak is looking for me. I think, and I'm pretty sure here, that's codeword for "go to the grass and get stopped by him because obviously a level two Rattata is life-threatening."
- Am I right? Oh, of course I am.
- Finally! I get my starter! Of course, I'm not going to use him much, but hey, free Pokeman, right? I'll pick Squirtle, so's to have Blue get Bulbasaur to make my life easier. HM 1 is his name.
- Of course I win. *Of course*
- See Pidgey in grass; IT'S TIM. Wait, no, no Pokeballs. I guess I'll catch you later (pun intended).
- "Hey! You came from Pallet Town?" Herp. Damn right I did. Let me guess, deliver a parcel? Yoooup. Awesome. I love sidequests.
- Pokedex... Somehow, I don't think I'll fill it. Sorry to disappoint. Came with Pokeballs, though, I guess that's cool. I can get Tim right away.
- "Ha! I'll tell my sister not to give you a map!" What – an – arse. She gives me one anyways, of course, because I'm cool.
- Right. Time to go get Tim.
- Oh, excellent. Lonely nature. As if his defense isn't low enough. Boosts attack though, that's cool.
- Grindan' time! I'm going to have to obscenely over-level him to beat Brock, though. Rock type, how does it work.
- Oh, speed key; what would I ever do without you. (Tim lv. 11)
- Moving on to Viridian Forest. Get ready, bugs, to get graped.
- Oh, God – this old dude thinks I don't know how to into catching teh Pokemans. Really? Reeaally?
- "Found one Pokeball." Lol'd.
- Oh, these Bug Catchers. Thinkin' they're so cool with their bugs. TFW I destroy them.
- Quick Attack? I think so.
- "Do you know that Pokemon evolve?" No. Definitely not.
- Tim evolves at level 18. I'm definitely going to need that extra Attack to beat Brock.
- Ok, I beat Brock's
thug that other dude easily enough, I think that's a good sign. But his Geodude took out half my health and his other was a Sandshrew so that was probably why.
- ...$50 for a child's ticket?? What is this, Broadway?? No! It's a tiny, boring museum!
- Anyways, extortion aside, it's back to grindan' like a boss to 18.
- Alrighty, Pidgeotto get! (Tim lv. 18)
GYM BATTLE #1 – BROCK
BoulderBadge GET!
- Get TM39 (Rock Tomb). Real useful, thanks Brock. :/
- Get running shoes from Prof. Oak's
AIDS Aide.
- Plow right through Route 3 trainers; time for Mt. Moon!
- ...MFW Super Nerd with Magnemite... This should be fun. Ha, Quick Attack spam killed him.
- Dandy. Running out of PP, finished off my Potions, and I'm at half health... Beat the dude with the fossils... And I'm out! Yay! But hold up, weren't Jesse and James supposed to be there...?
- Blue battle #2... Are you serious? I completely forgot about this kid..
- I think... He mad. Anyways, time for Nugget Bridge!
- Plow through them and that Team Rocket fellow. Aww yeah, nugget.
- *whistles nonchalantly as beats all trainers on following Route* Actually, though, some trainers did give me trouble with their Geodude/Onixs. And Tim actually fainted once. :O
- Mfw Bill says "I'm not joshing you, pal," while he's being a Jigglypuff.
- S.S. Anne ticket get!
- Beat Rocket grunt. Tim is level 29.
- Challenging Misty's gym!
- ...Wow, the Gym trainers sucked. Misty time.
GYM CHALLENGE #2 – MISTY
CascadeBadge GET!
- That was certainly easy. I think that Tim is now officially over leveled, if he can do that? Excellent :D
- Forward to Vermillion!! ...I might not be able to quite do this.
- Board the S.S. Anne... No problems throughout. I think I battle Blue here again though – oh, yeah – there it is.
RIVAL BATTLE #3
(forgot screen cap)
- Tim grew to 35 after beating Ivysaur, and I have a Rare Candy – grand :)
- Cleared out the rest of the ship and got Cut, but I don't have an HM Slave... Hmm... Meowth?
- Caught Meowth, called him HM 2, taught Cut. Proceeded to Vermillion Gym.
- Absolutely pillaged Gym trainers. Suddenly I'm less apprehensive of Lt. Surge.
GYM BATTLE #3 – LT. SURGE
ThunderBadge GET!
- Whoops, forgot to screen cap at the right time...
- Route 11... Expecting, having beaten Lt. Surge, no problems.
- Aha... Snorlax. Doubling back to Route 9. It's their turn to get Tim'd.
- ;_; Need flash for Rock Tunnel... Aaargh, back to Route 2 for it. And I get to catch random Pokemon too, I need 10 Pokedex entries...
- I need five more. This is ridiculous. Ugh. Caught Weedle, Rattata. Caterpie and Pikachu. Oh, and a Diglett.
- *Useless catching spree completed.* I got Flash, taught it to Meowth, and now it's Rock Tunnel time. Jesus.
- Oh, boy. Running out of PP. My only attacking moves are Wing Attack and Quick Attack... Most of it went to Geodudes and Onixes. Damn. Almost out, though.
- Whew. Lavender Town. I've never been glad to see this place, but that Pokemon Center... I really needed it.
- Going west before the Tower... Might as well level when given the opportunity. 45 at this point.
- Celadon City!! Right!! I'm supposed to clear the hideout before the Tower. Ok. That explains things.
- "Don't touch the poster in the Game Corner! There's no secret switch behind it!" Priceless. Love this dude.
- Celadon Gym!! It's Grass!! Excellent!
GYM BATTLE #4 – ERIKA
(forgot screen cap)
- Man, I'm starting to really like Pidgeot :)
- Team Rocket Hideout time! Oh, they're gonna like Tim..
- Got the Silph Scope, made Giovanni mad. Ha. Time for Lavender Tower.
- Oh, look. It's Blue. Charming.
- Fighting to the top of the tower... No problem!
- When Marowak appeared... Damn, I actually got chills.
- Saved Mr. Fuji. Dandy. Moving on to Fuchisa. Level 51 now, btw.
- And then, suddenly, Fishermen, Fishermen everwhere!
- Wakin' up Snorlax. Aww yeah. Nobody's going to sleep in my way.
- Catch him for HM Slavery.
- Aarrrgh, the confusing maze of trainers right before Fuchisa. Damn.
- Beat all of them. And that's a LOT. Anyways, it's Koga Time.
- AAAARRRGH. Koga. I HATE your BLASTED INVISIBLE WALLS. Prepare to pay for all the confusion you have wrought upon me!
GYM BATTLE #5 – KOGA
SoulBadge GET!
- AKLNSASFUNOFINSA. KOGA. YOU SUCK... Stupid Muk with its stupid Minimize.
- I hate the Safari Zone. I was literally ONE STEP AWAY from the Gold Teeth, and suddenly – "Ding Dong! I hate you, return to the entrance at once and DO IT ALL OVER AGAIN!" Same thing with the shack that gives you Surf – was walking up to the person and I was summoned.
- Cycling Road. 'Nuff said. Straight to Celadon.
- ANOTHER SNORLAX WAT. But I'm killing him, I already have one.
- Now to Saffron. Sabrina + another Rocket HQ. Fuuuuuuunnn.
- Begin frontal assault on Silph Co. Building. Oh, God, this will take a while.
- ...Beat Giovanni, that loser, 20 minutes later. Boy howdy, was he mad.
- Oh, Christ. Blew through
Blue (#5) so fast forgot to screen cap or even mention it. It was a 1HKO on everything except Gyarados, which somehow survived and then took a 2HKO. Also, Lapras get; he got boxed.
- Begin Sabrina's Gym. Oh, man, how I have always hated this place, even worse than Silph, because in Silph, you can just take the elevator out, but in this God-forsaken place you have to take the puzzle all over again to make like a tree and leaf.
- Finally... Made... It... To Sabrina. Ok. Let's do this.
GYM BATTLE #6 – SABRINA
MarshBage GET!
- Damn, forgot to screen cap at the right time. Again.
- Now to... Cinnibar?? Through a bunch of Swimmers. Yup, this should be fun.
- Tim is level 69... Hehe.
- HOLY CRAP. I hate Confuse Ray. I missed once with Steel Wing, he uses Confuse Ray, and then suddenly, I hit myself EVERY TIME for four moves. WHAT THE HELL.
- I reeeeallly do NOT want to go through the Seafoam Islands. And fight Articuno, etc. I'm going back to Pallet Town.
- Yeah, that was sooo much quicker. Now for the... Pokemon Mansion?? And Sevii Islands? Alright, I'm down.
- Remember how I said I'm down with the Pokemon Mansion? I'm not; it sucks.
- Finally got the Secret Key... Time to challenge Blaine.
GYM BATTLE #7 – BLAINE
VolcanoBadge GET!
- Easy 'nuff. All 1HKOs, except for Arcanine, which since his and Growlithe's Intimidate put my Attack at -2, he took a 2HKO.
- Oh, hi Bill! You want me to go... With you... To a private island... That I've never heard of... Sure!
- Ok, PWN'd those bikers, rescued Lostelle, etc. Now I'm back in Cinnibar. Time for ??? in Viridian Gym. The mystery Leader is definitely not, can't possibly be Giovanni.
- Level 74. Not bad, I'd say.
- So it's supposed to be a Ground-type gym. Battled two trainers, no sign of Ground-type yet.
- HOLY JESUS IT'S GIOVANNI (*faking surprise*)
GYM BATTLE #8 – GIOVANNI
EarthBadge GET!
- All that HP I'm missing? Did he score a few hits, you might ask? No. It was all Poison Point.
- Oh, boy, Blue again.
- Victory Road. Not victorious. Not a road.
- Aaaargh. Nearly ran out of PP. But I got through in one shot though.
- Alrighty, beginning E4 Challenge. In preparation, teaching Tim Return instead of Quick Attack. He's quick enough anyways.
ELITE #1 – LORELEI
ELITE #2 – BRUNO
ELITE #3 – AGATHA
- Alright, Lance is really where I'm expecting trouble.
- Holy DAMN, Return is powerful.
- It's time for Blue.
RIVAL BATTLE #7/CHAMPION BATTLE