[PKMN FULL] Hoenn: Make a Wish [T] [OOC]

The present-tense is kind of weird, but I don't mind as long as there is no switching between the three.

Post is a WIP. Expect a post up tonight.

Edit: I made a little bio for the Verdanturf Stadium. I'm going to have my character start there, just to introduce the place and him. I used CSS only because I think it's fun.

SYDAXARO220 said:

Okay, I understand now, I've looked back and noticed a lot of changes that I didn't know were there.
And with more knowledge comes more questions...
First the names after the locations, I assume are the person who suggested/mentioned them if so my name follows a few I don't remember mentioning which confuses me.
(Dewford Marina? Coordinators Auditorium?) I have no issues, its just a question.
Sydan's dad has already left for space on the rocket in Mosdeep's space station(Just something I thought I'd clarify now...

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I guess I wasn't paying too close attention. I'll change those, sorry.

And noted. ;)

Cayo said:

Hey, is capturing and evolving our pokemon at our own discretion? Or is it entirely up to us? (as long as it's reasonable and at a good pace)

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Yes, it is at your own discretion (the second sentence was redundant). Just don't go catching a Psuedo-Legendary with a Pokeball without weakening it first xP

Aquataris said:

I don't really understand what you mean when you say the dialogue is too formal, can you please elaborate?
I had a lapse of concentration when I said about the PokeMart, but we need some kind of super market as this isn't a Trainer Essiential they need. It could still be called Poké something. She's looking for a bag to carry the egg in. She dislikes using artificial heaters/incubators. How do you exactly make a first person joint post it's present tense because Churaka was writing in present tense. It may be formal when she says "Miss" but for god's - Sorry, I mean they just met, how are they meant to be chummy already.

Please elaborate in general.

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I'll try to elaborate via PM. As the reader, I didn't get any personality from either character during the dialogue, which should be main source of character personality during a post.

Okay, well the only real supermarkets are in Slateport and Lilycove as per the Map Notes.

I wasn't talking about narrator view, I was just talking about tense. It's fine if you just wanted to follow Chakura, but I just noticed a few times when tense changed and it just bugs me. One of the many pet peeves I posses. xP

Well, being that your characters are ~16, I don't know any 16 year old that would address a peer as "Miss" unless they were born regal or are pompous or something. How would you interact with a stranger your age? Then think how your character behaves around peers in general.

It's hard for me to elaborate because I've never encountered this before. But, again, I'll just PM you.

Cayo said:

The present-tense is kind of weird, but I don't mind as long as there is no switching between the three.

Post is a WIP. Expect a post up tonight.

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Consistency is key ;P

And very good. Excited to see your post. :)

FenikkusuKasai said:

Yes, it is at your own discretion (the second sentence was redundant). Just don't go catching a Psuedo-Legendary with a Pokeball without weakening it first xP

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Thanks for letting me know! Sorry about that second sentence, the first one was supposed to say your.

FenikkusuKasai said:

Yes, it is at your own discretion (the second sentence was redundant). Just don't go catching a Psuedo-Legendary with a Pokeball without weakening it first xP

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Thanks for letting me know! Sorry about that second sentence, the first one was supposed to say your.


@Aquataris Hey, I know your doing the JPs with Churaka, but I was thinking you could jump into the tournament. It's up to you, but we could have our characters meet in the finals or something.

Cayo said:

Thanks for letting me know! Sorry about that second sentence, the first one was supposed to say your.


@Aquataris Hey, I know your doing the JPs with Churaka, but I was thinking you could jump into the tournament. It's up to you, but we could have our characters meet in the finals or something.

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Oh, yeah. Easy misconception. xP

I was going to ask why you didn't just do the whole tournament in your post, but now I see why. But the current time for them is the day-time. According to the announcer, it's night at the end of your post. So that wouldn't be consistent.

Oh, and not to mention that you didn't mention anything about the PokeStations in your post, so I would assume it's the day before that incident. So you're Holt is either a day behind or ahead and Autumn/Len are either a day behind or ahead (of the current time of the RP).

Again, stressing the need to be congruent with the current time/environment of the RP (established by me).

As for the night thing, I disagree. The announcer said "tonight" but I wrote that as a more general statement. In reference to time, I think that word is more general and rolls off the tongue better than "today" from an announcer's standpoint.

However, I can change it if you want me too. It doesn't really matter to me.

I was also using this tournament as an intro for Holt, so that is why I didn't mention the Poke'Stations.

I don't think an announcer would say "tonight" "because it rolls off the tongue better." I'm sure they would say "today" if that was the current time of day. It's not the most important tournament so I'm sure he wouldn't be going for aesthetics in terms of verbage. Otherwise, it's just misleading to the reader.

And being an intro post to Holt doesn't have anything to do with mentioning PokeStations. It should introduce the character as much as introduce the plot.
To me, it doesn't exist if it isn't mentioned (RP-wise). Unless it's intentional, which is fine. It's just that the post describes the time of day being "night" and that "the PokeStation incident has not yet happened."

Hey Aqua, Churaka & Cayo. If you guys are competing in the verdanturf tournament it makes sense that we could do a couple of quad posts. Since abigail(The girl who Sydan is currently with) is so easily distracted, it would make sense that the tournament would appeal to her and that she would want to watch it. Meaning She and Sydan would stay head to Verdanturf thus meeting Autumn & Len along the way.

On another note Fennik, I'll probably have a character sheet for Abigail later today

Hold off on that until they mention IC when they are compared to us. I'm just going to make the decision, based off their posts, that Len and Autumn are a day ahead of Sydan/Forrest and Holt is the night before Sydan/Forrest.

This is what I've decided based on both posts. Please make the necessary edits or just consider yourself behind us. I will not have discontinuity in this RP. That's for novice RPers and I currently don't have the patience for it.

I will be writing my next post. Currently, I cannot introduce Len/Autumn/Holt to the main plot due to the timing of their posts. If that has changed before I finish writing, then they will be introduced.

Name: Abigail Fairgrieve
Age: 15
History: Abigail grew up with her rich father, the CEO of Devon corporation, as an only child. She is highly educated and has been taught to be prim and proper. However she has recently discovered the excitement that trainers face on a daily basis and wants that thrill in her own life. This has lead to her requesting her father let her travel alone from time to time, which he eventually agreed to(Reluctantly).
Items: She is rich. She can buy what she wants/needs quite easily.
Personality: She is very shy and prone to blushing often. Her posh background leads her to have very clear morals which haven't been diluted by life experiences. The fact she is an only child means she has been sheltered and is often very ignorant of the world around her, despite this she is very intelligent.
(That's pretty much it since she isn't a trainer. I feel like most of this can be deduced by her character in the intro post, but if not then there she is)
I wanted to start making my steak and get a little exercise in before I did this, but both of those things had to be blown off for different reasons. As a result I was able to get this up earlier

SYDAXARO220 said:

Name: Abigail Fairgrieve
Age: 15
History: Abigail grew up with her rich father, the CEO of Devon corporation, as an only child. She is highly educated and has been taught to be prim and proper. However she has recently discovered the excitement that trainers face on a daily basis and wants that thrill in her own life. This has lead to her requesting her father let her travel alone from time to time, which he eventually agreed to(Reluctantly).
Items: She is rich. She can buy what she wants/needs quite easily.
Personality: She is very shy and prone to blushing often. Her posh background leads her to have very clear morals which haven't been diluted by life experiences. The fact she is an only child means she has been sheltered and is often very ignorant of the world around her, despite this she is very intelligent.
(That's pretty much it since she isn't a trainer. I feel like most of this can be deduced by her character in the intro post, but if not then there she is)
I was start making my steak and get a little exercise in before I did this, but both of those things had to be blown off for different reasons. As a result I was able to get this up earlier

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Looks good. ^^


And to all those I've offended:
Please PM me or just post your concerns here. Going to the moderator doesn't help anyone because he's not going to do anything about it. He just brought it to my attention and said "but it's your RP. You do what you want."
Like what the rules say, if you have any disagreements, voice them. If you have an argument for or against something, voice it. Arguments are not inherently hate-filled and nasty, that's what society has taught you. I can only learn what you need if we argue about it and you question me and I question you.
Again, going to the Moderator isn't going to solve anything. It's going to bring in a third party that neither cares nor has the time.

Okay, now that I've settled down, Aqua, you may re-post what you deleted earlier. I want to hear what you say, however harsh or emotional or justified. I don't know what got over me, but I lost any kind of patience and just went on a rampage. But I still stand by what I said, just how I said it was a bit harsh.

I'm not saying anyone's a bad RPer, I'm saying what my experience has shown me what a good RPer is (and I'm not talking about myself).
In the rules, I said criticism is open to anyone from anyone. If you cannot take it, you shouldn't deal it out. But being able to take it, either on or offline, is a good life skill to have. It's important to take criticism objectively. I may have said "a good RPer does x," but I did not say you were a bad RPer. If I meant that, I would have said it. You can make assumptions of what I've written, but that's never accurate or constructive.
And I could go all day criticizing grammar, if that's what we're upset about. But that doesn't mean I've missed grammatical errors in my own posts. I only care to point out structural things that help with comprehension.

But like I've said to Chakura: "I believed your [Aquataris and Chakura's] dialogue was 'formal' because 'dry and forced' was too harsh a criticism." But I should have just said what I meant instead of going about it in a way that was admittedly unnecessarily harsh. But I was more aggravated about elaborating what I believed were self-explanatory points (even though there were only two and they weren't self-explanatory).

As for my current decisions about the timing of posts, they still stand. I have to keep firm on those who follow the time and plot of the RP. If you don't want to mention it, then you will not be a part of it until you decide to react to it. I will not assume your character knows about it if they have had no reaction to it.

And I don't believe "keeping up on the OP, following time and plot" are expectations which everyone cannot follow. This is the major reason for my lack of patience. I've already mentioned my feelings on this subject, so I will not continue.

Any and all complaints/insults/arguments may be submitted in any manner you wish. I will take the time to read and respond to them all.

Thank you.

My original post

Dude? Can you please at least not judge every single thing we write? Much less insult us and cover it with "No offense" that's plain lying.
Who the hell said we were in front, just because we didn't talk about the Pokestations, you aren't the most important thing in this rp right now! You don't have the time for Discontinuity? You tell us to fill in ourselves when control everything,
Yes that's my first JP, but I've been RPing since I could type. Don't you dare insult me like that. I chose Present tense because I didn't want to go back and forth. Yes, it may have been formal or clunky but I was told to act how I thought I should act. I don't know about Len but I won't have you critizing me so disrespectfully. I will not just "adjust" I can write how I want. Yes, my first JP might be clanky, but I've just had "You Choose" Whenever I asked for help trying to build my character. You know what, I chose what to do, if no one wanted to help me, then you get what you given.

I expect an apology and then we can procede on trying to improve the JP, for this I need to talk with Churaka Simentaneously. We'll work on this for mutual benfit.

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I actually didn't think of it as going to a Moderator, I asked her on Skype, I thought of it as a casual "Am I being too defensive?"

As I've said It's my first JP. My character is rather a blank slate because I've fussed over her for far to long and left it to the roleplay to mould her personality. I can't influence Len's manner of speaking thing or her actions.

Thank you.

I will respond via PM. I will be transparent if it is asked of me.

sorry everyone. I'll have my next post up tomorrow. I was kidnapped by friends. ;P

Hey, I'm really sorry but I have to drop out. I had something come up today and I don't think I can keep up or focus enough for this.

Sorry, I was really looking forward to how this would turn out.

Would you give permission to having your character NPCed by someone? I still like the character.

But I wish you luck. ^^

And I apologize as well, since I liked about posting. It will be up today. :)

I wouldn't mind if someone took over my character. I don't really care who it is either.

Is there still any spots left?