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Pokemon Platinum Adventure (Working Title)

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9
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  • Age 33
  • Seen Aug 2, 2015
Hey guys I'm here with a semi first draft of a script I have for a possible manga I was thinking about trying to make. The story is going to follow the plot of Platinum with twists and a bigger emphasis on character development and Lucas, Dawn, and Barry working together as a team. Think of the script as the script to an anime episode and try not to mind the grammar and spelling errors too much :P I would love feedback on my portrayals of the characters so far and the story in general. Please constructive criticism no flame. Also towards the end I was listening to the Skyward Sword theme and it got me in a big adventure mood so Rowans ending speech might be a little cheesy and over blown :P

This is Lucas. He is hoping to one day become a Pokemon master just like his father. Nothing will stop him from defeating all 8 gyms and the Pokemon league. He as vowed to become the greatest trainer in Sinnoh and maybe even the world! But first he has to get out of his room and away from his TV

TV: Special news today coming from Sandgem town today as the famed Pokemon researcher known to many as Professor Rowan has returned from the Kanto region back to his home, the Sinnoh. He has been quoted saying he will set up the first world class research facility in the Sinnoh in Sandgem Town in order to help research the legendary Pokemon said to be living in Lake Verity

(commotion heard downstairs and crashing heard)

Barry: sorry sorry sorry

(running up stairs heard)

Barry: Lucas Lucas did you hear?

TV: In other news a streak of red was seen in the sky today in Hoenn

Barry: a streak of red huh, wonder what that could be, I mean did you hear?

Lucas: slow down barry hear what?

Barry: Oh my god this is so great some professor guy like Rowan or something is in Sandgem Town. I heard you can get Pokemon from him if you get there. We gotta go now Lucas! Before all the Pokemon are gone!

Lucas: Ok lets go race you there

Barry: Ha you'll never beat me in a race and pretty soon you'll never beat me in a Pokemon battle either

(both run out the house)

Lucas's Mom: Huh Lucas where are you going?

Lucas: gonna get some Pokemon mom I'll be back before dark!!

(Lucas pops his head back in the door)

Lucas: Love you!!

Barry: Your making this to easy, come on Lucas!!!!

(Barry's mom open her door)

Barry's mom: Where are you two going in such a hurry!!
(Barry and Lucas are running until Lucas trips over a branch and hits a small tree dropping a nest from it Starly then attack them both)

Dawn: Piplup bubble beam pronto!!

(Piplup scatters the Stary and saves barry and Lucas)

Dawn: Piplup return!

Dawn: You reckless fools you ruined my research I almost had that Starly egg

Barry: Ughh those Pokemon ripped up my jacket

Dawn: Ughh those Pokemon ripped up my jacket (in mocking voice) the nerve of you. Let me tell you something…

Barry: Barry

Dawn: Barry, didn't your mother ever teach you its not nice to talk over other, and it would be nie if you showed a little consideration for my loss instead of mooring over your ugly jacket

Barry: Hey calm down girl we were just trying to get some pokemon and I take pride in how I dress, something it appears like you don't

Dawn: WHAT IS THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN!!!!

(Rowan walks up)

Rowan: Dawn what is the meaning of this is your yelling what scared off that flock of stary i just saw?

Dawn: Proffesor I'm sorry it just that umm

Barry: Wait your professor rowan?

Dawn: What did I say about interrupting me?!

Rowan: Yes I am child and whats your name

Dawn: This is Barry, he's the nimrod who scared off all the staly

Barry: Sorry Professor but me and my friend here were runnig to get Pokemon from you

Rowan: (laughing) Do you think I just give out pokemon?

Barry: Well I mean kind of like I heard you were from a guy who heard it from the news or something I dont remember it could have been lemme think umm

Rowan: My my, your brain runs at full speed doesn't it
Barry: (embarrassed) ya well

Rowan: Forgive me but im not sure I know your name

Lucas: Ohh sorry Professor I'm Lucas and im the one who hit the stary nest and made them go haywire, sorry

Barry: Ya, so maybe you should give the evil eye to him not me lady

Dawn: I'll give the evil eye to whoever I want, me and my ugly clothes are free to do as we please. And trust me it not like I want to stare at you, it hard to stare at such a disgusting face to be honest

Barry: Why you I'll…

Lucas: (grabs barry) We should probably be going back to Twinleaf Town

Rowan: You're going to Twinleaf Town? Why dont you two escort me to Lake verity then, its not far off and considering the commotion you stirred up, its the least you can do

Lucas: We'd be happy to professor

Rowan: And if you two want pokemon then why dont you try out these two

Dawn: Professor your not really going to give them those are you

Rowan: We'll see Dawn

(Rowan reaches into his bag and pulls two poke balls)

Rowan: For you Barry, this Pokemon should be right up your alley

(Barry gets a turtwig)

Barry: Really Professor and slow Turtwig?

(Turtwig tackles Barry)

Rowan: He's almost as hot tempered as you'd say

Rowan: Here lucas this one is for you

(Lucas gets a chimchar)

Lucas: What is it Professor?

Rowan: Its a Chimchar, a fire type pokemon

Barry: Hey no fair, fire beats grass
Rowan: Ahh I see you know more about pokemon than would meet the eye, dawn you can head back to the lab I,m sure these two can escort me just fine

Dawn: ...but but

Barry: You heard the man leave us be, we got important stuff to do

dawn: Ohh would you shut up

barry: Bye bye love you!!

Dawn: Im going to kill you i swear!!

(At Lake Verity)

Barry: So gramps what are we doing here

Rowan: Its profesor for the 12th time

Barry: Ok gramps

Rowan: And were here so I can get some reading on that island

Lucas: What island I can't see though all this fog

Rowan: Hmm yes, Dawn was supposed to use the stary to defog this place

Barry: I can barley see at all

Lucas: Hey looks like there other people here (pointing at three silhouetted figures)

Barry: I'll ask them if they can defog this place, HEY YOU GUYS!

(the three figures turn and one walks up)

Rowan: Cyrus!

Barry: Huh you know this guy?

Cyrus: Its good to see you old man

Lucas: Hey dont call him that only I can call him that

Cyrus: (snickers) I see you still have younger trainers do your work for you, never a man to get his hands dirty

Rowan: Hmm I'm inclined to call you a hypocrite, why don't your goons come out of the fog and show their faces

Grunt 1: Gladly

Grunt 2: Well take it one step further and show you our pokemon too Zubat go!

Barry: If you want to fight I'm game I'm sure Turtwig would love to destroy you and your weird hair for his first battle

Lucas: Barry, don't escalate things

Barry: I wont let these two pawns try to intimidate us with their Pokemon Lucas come on get your Chimchar out too

Cyrus: He's right Barry, lets not let things get out of hand

Barry: Then why dont you tell your thugs to back off

Cyrus: Hush now the important people have to talk

Barry: Why I ought to….

Rowan: Barry… So Cyrus why are you here

Cyrus: Same reason you are, I'm observing the legendary Pokemon

Rowan: And what would you want to learn about the legendary pokemon hmm?

Cyrus: Im afraid thats a conversation for another time you see I have to be somewhere (turns back to his grunts) I trust you two will handle this

Grunts: (nod)

Cyrus: leave the old man, the other two you can dispose of, (walking away) Its been fun Ill see you later

Grunt 1: Zubat lets go poison sting!

Grunt 2: You too!!

Lucas: Huh (fumbles with poke ball and get Chimchar out)

(Chimchar gets out right infront of the poison sting and doesn't have time to dodge, turtwig deflects it with his head)

Lucas: Chimchar! Uhhhh (Lucas glaces over to Barry's battle)

Barry: Turtwig tackle!!!

Grunt 1: Dodge it

(zubat dodges but turtwig catches him with his tail)

Barry: Nice job your faster than you look turtwig

Lucas: No kidding

Rowan: Pay attention to your battle

Grunt 2: Zubat Bite!

Lucas: Huh?....Chimchar dodge it

Rowan: And leer!

(Chimchar dodges then eyes the zubat straight on intimidating it)

Lucas: Great now scratch!

(chimchar runs up to the zubat paralyzed in fear and takes the scratch head on

Lucas: A critical hit yes!

(The zubat is down and chimchar scratches again fainting it)

Lucas: I didn't say to do that but I guess…

Barry: A little help you know, if you got the time, its really whatever

Lucas: Huh? sorry chimchar scratch that Zubat!

Grunt 1: You're out already? Fine I'll do this myself, Zubat leech life from the Turtwig

Barry: Tackle!

(The zubat quickly flies next to the turtwig dodges the tackle and leeches the life, turtwig goes down)

Barry: Come on turtwig don't fall now

Rowan: Leech life is a bug move its super effective against grass types, your Turtwig cant take other hit like that

Barry: Come on Turtwig second time is the charm tackle again!

Grunt 1: Same thing!

Lucas: Chimchar try to intercept it!

(The Zubat dodges the turtwig again but is hit by the chimchar and sent flying away, but bites the chimchar before it scratches the zubat which then get tackled by the turwig and faints)

Barry: Awesome! nice job Turtwig return and get some rest!

Lucas: Ya amazing you too Chimchar return

Rowan: Good job both of you

Grunt 1: Why can't hq give us pokemon like that?

Grunt 2: All we get are these garbage Zubats

(a figure appears behind the three)

Mars: Never send a grunt to do a commander's job

Barry: Huh?

Mars: Purugly finish these amateurs

Barry: Bring it on! Turtwig I've got more Pokemon for you to destroy

Lucas: (quietly) Barry, our pokemon are tired from battling and that Pokemon looks really strong, We can't win!

Barry: You never know unless you try, Turtwig tackle

Mars: Purugly fury swipes

(before the two collide me spirit comes in-between them and puts both pokemon to sleep

Mars: Ohh my

Barry: Come on Turtwig you can nap later!

Mars: You fool don't you know what just happened! I must report this to Cyrus.

grunt 1: We'll huh escort you

Grunt 2: Ya

(the three run off)

Barry: Turtwig return

Rowan: Hmm

Barry: What?
Rowan: the way you thrust your pokemon in battle like that was foolish

Barry: Hey it worked didn't it

Rowan: I just hope you learn to not be such a hothead, there wont always be a legendary pokemon to save you

Lucas: So that was the legendary pokemon

Rowan: Yes Mespirit, the being of emotion, come you two lets head back to the lab. We have much to discuss

(Back at the lab)

Rowan: Dawn get these two's pokemon healed up

Dawn: Yes professor

Barry: Come on Dawn how about a heroes welcome, look happy to see us, we are heros after all right Lucas?

Dawn: The only place I'd be happy to see you is in a cage with the other circus freaks

Barry: Hey thats no way to talk to the guy that single handedly saved your precious Professor

Dawn: Ohh ya I'm sure your friend did nothing

Barry: Ohh sorry luc…

Dawn: And if you were as good as me your Pokemon wouldn't need healing because they wouldn't have taken a hit (takes the poke ball from Barry)

Dawn: I don't think we've been properly introduced, I'm Dawn and you are?

Lucas: Lucas, uhh good to meet you

Dawn: Just dont be as annoying as your friend and well be good friends ( takes the pokeball from lucas)

Lucas: You get used to him don't worry.

Dawn: Doubt it (puts the pokeballs in the healer)

Dawn: Here's you coffee professor

Rowan: Thank you Dawn

Dawn: You two want anything? i can get Lucas water, Barry will have to get it himself

Lucas: I'm fine thanks

Barry: I'll take a virgin pinocolada, extra coconut flavor, three pineapple slices on the side and can you put the little umbrella on top

Dawn: How about I give you a knuckle sandwich

Rowan: Actually Dawn if you could sit down I would like you all to hear this

(Dawn reaches for the closest seat which is next to barry but barry puts his feet on the seat)

Barry: Sorry my hero feet need this seat you wouldn't get it though its a skilled trainer thing

Dawn: It's ok maybe if I sit next to Lucas I won't be able to smell everything you've been in in the last two weeks

Barry: I smell of adventure

Dawn: Adventure in the trash

Rowan: Everyone listen up today Barry, Lucas, and I encountered Cyrus

Dawn: Cyrus? He's back?

Lucas: Ya and we totally kicked his butt

Dawn: Now I know thats a lie

Rowan: He sent some grunts after us that Lucas and Barry were able to defeat handily if I do say so

Dawn: Wait so these two can actually battle?

Rowan: Yes they showed great expertise in combat I'm actually considering letting them keep the two pokemon i gave them

Barry: Huh for real gramps?

Rowan: I said considering so cut it out with the gramps stuff

Barry: Yes professor rowan, the one and only, young, handsome, smart, Professor Rowan

Dawn: Incredible the creature is capable of saying things other than insults

Barry: Not the mention I can count to like 17

Lucas: So who is this Cyrus guy anyways?

Dawn: You want me to professor?

Rowan: I'm not stoping you

Dawn: Cyrus was once on a research team with the professor looking into the mythology of the Sinnoh creation myths

Barry: Ohh you mean that old bedtime story?

Rowan: Our team found its not just an old bedtime story but real events that happened long ago.

Lucas: So why does Cyrus hate you now?

Rowan: Our funding stopped and the research team had to be disbanded, Cyrus was furious. He thinks I should have fought for our team harder and blames me for the disbanding to this day.

Dawn: He's also a very strong trainer someone not even Barry the magnificent could beat

Barry: Mmhmm sure

Rowan: This is not a joke Barry, Cyrus was obsessed with the myth and using the creators of Sinnoh for selfish reasons

Lucas: We got it Professor well be careful

Rowan: You two

Barry: Ya

Rowan: What do you plan on doing with those pokemon

Barry: Taking on the League of course, its been mine and Lucas's dream since we were kids

Lucas: Were planning on become the first champion pair

Dawn: ahahahahahahhahhah, oh your serious

Barry: It may be a childish dream but its better than being a lab assistant

Dawn: hmmmmmm

Rowan: Well I'm going to ask while you take on the League Challenge you keep an eye out for Cyrus and his men

Lucas: Sounds fair since you did give us Pokemon

Barry: Ya thanks Professor but I'll proboly just use the Pokemon you gave me to catch an even more powerful one

Rowan: Hahah I'm sure you will well since you two are going to be looking at all the Pokemon you see anyways I want you take these

Lucas: What are those

Rowan: They're Pokedexs, they record data about the Pokemon you encounter

Barry: Cool

Rowan: And my final request is this

Barry: Ya sure anything

Rowan: I want you to take Dawn with you

Barry: Except that….

Dawn: I don't know if I'm on board with this either

Rowan: Dawn as my lab assistant I need you to go around sinnoh as I cannot anymore at my age

Dawn: Can't I go with someone else?

Rowan: No these trainers will be heading to all the major spots in sinnoh to get the gym badges they need and you will need to study all the major spots in sinnoh, you could say its meant to be

Barry: Didn't you hear the old man, were meant to be

Dawn: I wouldn't date you if you were the last man on earth

Barry: You wouldn't be able to get a date even if you were the last woman on Earth if you keep dressing like that

Dawn: IF YOU HAVE A PROBLEM WITH MY CLOTHES WHY DONT YOU JUST LOOK THE OTHER WAY

Rowan: Why don't you two take it outside

Dawn: Your right, indoors is to civilized for a bar-barry-an

Barry: How long did it take for you to come up with that

Dawn: It take me long long time barry (in barbarian voice)

Rowan: Lucas I have something to give to you

Lucas: Huh what is it

Rowan: It's an old orb we found in one of the ruins we discovered

Lucas: Why are you giving it to me?

Rowan: In all my years I never found a use for it, but I feel like you can and if its important to Cyrus I trust in in your hands more than my own

Lucas: I'm not the best person to give it to shouldn't you give it to Barry or Dawn

Rowan: I am very specific with my actions Lucas, I would not be giving this to you if i did not have complete trust in you and your character.

Rowan: You see those two arguing out there

Barry: Lets settle this, Turtwig go

Dawn: No fair you have the advantage

Barry: I thought you were the master trainer

Rowan: They need a leader, one with common sense but also guts and willingness to put things on the line. You now command the fire type Chimchar, barry the grass type Turtwig, and dawn the water type Piplup. In battle each of those pokemon is powerful but they alos have weaknesses. But if they all work together, fire, water, and grass, they can cover each others weaknesses and truly shine It is the same with people you see, together your all talented trainers, but together, together you will truly be able to show this world true power

Lucas: I understand, trust me professor we will be great (runs out and gets dawn and barry to run with him)

Rowan: (looking out at them run away an aipom walks next to rowan) Aipom my old friend, do you remember that old crown we found excavating?

It was the most beautiful thing I ever seen, a bring shiny pearl in the center, diamond studs on the side, and all held together by a strong platinum frame.
 
Last edited:

DJTiki

top 3 most uninteresting microcelebrities
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I really like this story. Of course, its just Sinnoh, but I love the potrayal you gave the characters. I mostly enjoy the relationships between each character. This would make a great manga :) I can't wait to see more.

Btw, thread rules say, that too many grammatical errors, can close your story, so you should get on the editing bandwagon soon. Just looking out for you.
 
Last edited:

Nolafus

Aspiring something
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Unfortunately, you still missed one rule:
Only Well Written Script Fics Are Allowed:
Script fics are commonly seen as an easier way to write a story. Unless you script fic is more than just dialogue, it will be closed. It's okay if you use the script format for dialogue, but please include narration and description.

I'm afraid this doesn't quite cut it. If you want to write a script fic, make sure it's more than just dialogue.
 
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