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Pokemon Platinum Adventure (Working Title)

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    • Seen Aug 2, 2015
    Hey guys I'm here with a semi first draft of a script I have for a possible manga I was thinking about trying to make. The story is going to follow the plot of Platinum with twists and a bigger emphasis on character development and Lucas, Dawn, and Barry working together as a team. Think of the script as the script to an anime episode and try not to mind the grammar and spelling errors too much :P I would love feedback on my portrayals of the characters so far and the story in general. Please constructive criticism no flame. Also towards the end I was listening to the Skyward Sword theme and it got me in a big adventure mood so Rowans ending speech might be a little cheesy and over blown :P

    This is Lucas. He is hoping to one day become a Pokemon master just like his father. Nothing will stop him from defeating all 8 gyms and the Pokemon league. He as vowed to become the greatest trainer in Sinnoh and maybe even the world! But first he has to get out of his room and away from his TV

    TV: Special news today coming from Sandgem town today as the famed Pokemon researcher known to many as Professor Rowan has returned from the Kanto region back to his home, the Sinnoh. He has been quoted saying he will set up the first world class research facility in the Sinnoh in Sandgem Town in order to help research the legendary Pokemon said to be living in Lake Verity

    (commotion heard downstairs and crashing heard)

    Barry: sorry sorry sorry

    (running up stairs heard)

    Barry: Lucas Lucas did you hear?

    TV: In other news a streak of red was seen in the sky today in Hoenn

    Barry: a streak of red huh, wonder what that could be, I mean did you hear?

    Lucas: slow down barry hear what?

    Barry: Oh my god this is so great some professor guy like Rowan or something is in Sandgem Town. I heard you can get Pokemon from him if you get there. We gotta go now Lucas! Before all the Pokemon are gone!

    Lucas: Ok lets go race you there

    Barry: Ha you'll never beat me in a race and pretty soon you'll never beat me in a Pokemon battle either

    (both run out the house)

    Lucas's Mom: Huh Lucas where are you going?

    Lucas: gonna get some Pokemon mom I'll be back before dark!!

    (Lucas pops his head back in the door)

    Lucas: Love you!!

    Barry: Your making this to easy, come on Lucas!!!!

    (Barry's mom open her door)

    Barry's mom: Where are you two going in such a hurry!!
    (Barry and Lucas are running until Lucas trips over a branch and hits a small tree dropping a nest from it Starly then attack them both)

    Dawn: Piplup bubble beam pronto!!

    (Piplup scatters the Stary and saves barry and Lucas)

    Dawn: Piplup return!

    Dawn: You reckless fools you ruined my research I almost had that Starly egg

    Barry: Ughh those Pokemon ripped up my jacket

    Dawn: Ughh those Pokemon ripped up my jacket (in mocking voice) the nerve of you. Let me tell you something…

    Barry: Barry

    Dawn: Barry, didn't your mother ever teach you its not nice to talk over other, and it would be nie if you showed a little consideration for my loss instead of mooring over your ugly jacket

    Barry: Hey calm down girl we were just trying to get some pokemon and I take pride in how I dress, something it appears like you don't

    Dawn: WHAT IS THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN!!!!

    (Rowan walks up)

    Rowan: Dawn what is the meaning of this is your yelling what scared off that flock of stary i just saw?

    Dawn: Proffesor I'm sorry it just that umm

    Barry: Wait your professor rowan?

    Dawn: What did I say about interrupting me?!

    Rowan: Yes I am child and whats your name

    Dawn: This is Barry, he's the nimrod who scared off all the staly

    Barry: Sorry Professor but me and my friend here were runnig to get Pokemon from you

    Rowan: (laughing) Do you think I just give out pokemon?

    Barry: Well I mean kind of like I heard you were from a guy who heard it from the news or something I dont remember it could have been lemme think umm

    Rowan: My my, your brain runs at full speed doesn't it
    Barry: (embarrassed) ya well

    Rowan: Forgive me but im not sure I know your name

    Lucas: Ohh sorry Professor I'm Lucas and im the one who hit the stary nest and made them go haywire, sorry

    Barry: Ya, so maybe you should give the evil eye to him not me lady

    Dawn: I'll give the evil eye to whoever I want, me and my ugly clothes are free to do as we please. And trust me it not like I want to stare at you, it hard to stare at such a disgusting face to be honest

    Barry: Why you I'll…

    Lucas: (grabs barry) We should probably be going back to Twinleaf Town

    Rowan: You're going to Twinleaf Town? Why dont you two escort me to Lake verity then, its not far off and considering the commotion you stirred up, its the least you can do

    Lucas: We'd be happy to professor

    Rowan: And if you two want pokemon then why dont you try out these two

    Dawn: Professor your not really going to give them those are you

    Rowan: We'll see Dawn

    (Rowan reaches into his bag and pulls two poke balls)

    Rowan: For you Barry, this Pokemon should be right up your alley

    (Barry gets a turtwig)

    Barry: Really Professor and slow Turtwig?

    (Turtwig tackles Barry)

    Rowan: He's almost as hot tempered as you'd say

    Rowan: Here lucas this one is for you

    (Lucas gets a chimchar)

    Lucas: What is it Professor?

    Rowan: Its a Chimchar, a fire type pokemon

    Barry: Hey no fair, fire beats grass
    Rowan: Ahh I see you know more about pokemon than would meet the eye, dawn you can head back to the lab I,m sure these two can escort me just fine

    Dawn: ...but but

    Barry: You heard the man leave us be, we got important stuff to do

    dawn: Ohh would you shut up

    barry: Bye bye love you!!

    Dawn: Im going to kill you i swear!!

    (At Lake Verity)

    Barry: So gramps what are we doing here

    Rowan: Its profesor for the 12th time

    Barry: Ok gramps

    Rowan: And were here so I can get some reading on that island

    Lucas: What island I can't see though all this fog

    Rowan: Hmm yes, Dawn was supposed to use the stary to defog this place

    Barry: I can barley see at all

    Lucas: Hey looks like there other people here (pointing at three silhouetted figures)

    Barry: I'll ask them if they can defog this place, HEY YOU GUYS!

    (the three figures turn and one walks up)

    Rowan: Cyrus!

    Barry: Huh you know this guy?

    Cyrus: Its good to see you old man

    Lucas: Hey dont call him that only I can call him that

    Cyrus: (snickers) I see you still have younger trainers do your work for you, never a man to get his hands dirty

    Rowan: Hmm I'm inclined to call you a hypocrite, why don't your goons come out of the fog and show their faces

    Grunt 1: Gladly

    Grunt 2: Well take it one step further and show you our pokemon too Zubat go!

    Barry: If you want to fight I'm game I'm sure Turtwig would love to destroy you and your weird hair for his first battle

    Lucas: Barry, don't escalate things

    Barry: I wont let these two pawns try to intimidate us with their Pokemon Lucas come on get your Chimchar out too

    Cyrus: He's right Barry, lets not let things get out of hand

    Barry: Then why dont you tell your thugs to back off

    Cyrus: Hush now the important people have to talk

    Barry: Why I ought to….

    Rowan: Barry… So Cyrus why are you here

    Cyrus: Same reason you are, I'm observing the legendary Pokemon

    Rowan: And what would you want to learn about the legendary pokemon hmm?

    Cyrus: Im afraid thats a conversation for another time you see I have to be somewhere (turns back to his grunts) I trust you two will handle this

    Grunts: (nod)

    Cyrus: leave the old man, the other two you can dispose of, (walking away) Its been fun Ill see you later

    Grunt 1: Zubat lets go poison sting!

    Grunt 2: You too!!

    Lucas: Huh (fumbles with poke ball and get Chimchar out)

    (Chimchar gets out right infront of the poison sting and doesn't have time to dodge, turtwig deflects it with his head)

    Lucas: Chimchar! Uhhhh (Lucas glaces over to Barry's battle)

    Barry: Turtwig tackle!!!

    Grunt 1: Dodge it

    (zubat dodges but turtwig catches him with his tail)

    Barry: Nice job your faster than you look turtwig

    Lucas: No kidding

    Rowan: Pay attention to your battle

    Grunt 2: Zubat Bite!

    Lucas: Huh?....Chimchar dodge it

    Rowan: And leer!

    (Chimchar dodges then eyes the zubat straight on intimidating it)

    Lucas: Great now scratch!

    (chimchar runs up to the zubat paralyzed in fear and takes the scratch head on

    Lucas: A critical hit yes!

    (The zubat is down and chimchar scratches again fainting it)

    Lucas: I didn't say to do that but I guess…

    Barry: A little help you know, if you got the time, its really whatever

    Lucas: Huh? sorry chimchar scratch that Zubat!

    Grunt 1: You're out already? Fine I'll do this myself, Zubat leech life from the Turtwig

    Barry: Tackle!

    (The zubat quickly flies next to the turtwig dodges the tackle and leeches the life, turtwig goes down)

    Barry: Come on turtwig don't fall now

    Rowan: Leech life is a bug move its super effective against grass types, your Turtwig cant take other hit like that

    Barry: Come on Turtwig second time is the charm tackle again!

    Grunt 1: Same thing!

    Lucas: Chimchar try to intercept it!

    (The Zubat dodges the turtwig again but is hit by the chimchar and sent flying away, but bites the chimchar before it scratches the zubat which then get tackled by the turwig and faints)

    Barry: Awesome! nice job Turtwig return and get some rest!

    Lucas: Ya amazing you too Chimchar return

    Rowan: Good job both of you

    Grunt 1: Why can't hq give us pokemon like that?

    Grunt 2: All we get are these garbage Zubats

    (a figure appears behind the three)

    Mars: Never send a grunt to do a commander's job

    Barry: Huh?

    Mars: Purugly finish these amateurs

    Barry: Bring it on! Turtwig I've got more Pokemon for you to destroy

    Lucas: (quietly) Barry, our pokemon are tired from battling and that Pokemon looks really strong, We can't win!

    Barry: You never know unless you try, Turtwig tackle

    Mars: Purugly fury swipes

    (before the two collide me spirit comes in-between them and puts both pokemon to sleep

    Mars: Ohh my

    Barry: Come on Turtwig you can nap later!

    Mars: You fool don't you know what just happened! I must report this to Cyrus.

    grunt 1: We'll huh escort you

    Grunt 2: Ya

    (the three run off)

    Barry: Turtwig return

    Rowan: Hmm

    Barry: What?
    Rowan: the way you thrust your pokemon in battle like that was foolish

    Barry: Hey it worked didn't it

    Rowan: I just hope you learn to not be such a hothead, there wont always be a legendary pokemon to save you

    Lucas: So that was the legendary pokemon

    Rowan: Yes Mespirit, the being of emotion, come you two lets head back to the lab. We have much to discuss

    (Back at the lab)

    Rowan: Dawn get these two's pokemon healed up

    Dawn: Yes professor

    Barry: Come on Dawn how about a heroes welcome, look happy to see us, we are heros after all right Lucas?

    Dawn: The only place I'd be happy to see you is in a cage with the other circus freaks

    Barry: Hey thats no way to talk to the guy that single handedly saved your precious Professor

    Dawn: Ohh ya I'm sure your friend did nothing

    Barry: Ohh sorry luc…

    Dawn: And if you were as good as me your Pokemon wouldn't need healing because they wouldn't have taken a hit (takes the poke ball from Barry)

    Dawn: I don't think we've been properly introduced, I'm Dawn and you are?

    Lucas: Lucas, uhh good to meet you

    Dawn: Just dont be as annoying as your friend and well be good friends ( takes the pokeball from lucas)

    Lucas: You get used to him don't worry.

    Dawn: Doubt it (puts the pokeballs in the healer)

    Dawn: Here's you coffee professor

    Rowan: Thank you Dawn

    Dawn: You two want anything? i can get Lucas water, Barry will have to get it himself

    Lucas: I'm fine thanks

    Barry: I'll take a virgin pinocolada, extra coconut flavor, three pineapple slices on the side and can you put the little umbrella on top

    Dawn: How about I give you a knuckle sandwich

    Rowan: Actually Dawn if you could sit down I would like you all to hear this

    (Dawn reaches for the closest seat which is next to barry but barry puts his feet on the seat)

    Barry: Sorry my hero feet need this seat you wouldn't get it though its a skilled trainer thing

    Dawn: It's ok maybe if I sit next to Lucas I won't be able to smell everything you've been in in the last two weeks

    Barry: I smell of adventure

    Dawn: Adventure in the trash

    Rowan: Everyone listen up today Barry, Lucas, and I encountered Cyrus

    Dawn: Cyrus? He's back?

    Lucas: Ya and we totally kicked his butt

    Dawn: Now I know thats a lie

    Rowan: He sent some grunts after us that Lucas and Barry were able to defeat handily if I do say so

    Dawn: Wait so these two can actually battle?

    Rowan: Yes they showed great expertise in combat I'm actually considering letting them keep the two pokemon i gave them

    Barry: Huh for real gramps?

    Rowan: I said considering so cut it out with the gramps stuff

    Barry: Yes professor rowan, the one and only, young, handsome, smart, Professor Rowan

    Dawn: Incredible the creature is capable of saying things other than insults

    Barry: Not the mention I can count to like 17

    Lucas: So who is this Cyrus guy anyways?

    Dawn: You want me to professor?

    Rowan: I'm not stoping you

    Dawn: Cyrus was once on a research team with the professor looking into the mythology of the Sinnoh creation myths

    Barry: Ohh you mean that old bedtime story?

    Rowan: Our team found its not just an old bedtime story but real events that happened long ago.

    Lucas: So why does Cyrus hate you now?

    Rowan: Our funding stopped and the research team had to be disbanded, Cyrus was furious. He thinks I should have fought for our team harder and blames me for the disbanding to this day.

    Dawn: He's also a very strong trainer someone not even Barry the magnificent could beat

    Barry: Mmhmm sure

    Rowan: This is not a joke Barry, Cyrus was obsessed with the myth and using the creators of Sinnoh for selfish reasons

    Lucas: We got it Professor well be careful

    Rowan: You two

    Barry: Ya

    Rowan: What do you plan on doing with those pokemon

    Barry: Taking on the League of course, its been mine and Lucas's dream since we were kids

    Lucas: Were planning on become the first champion pair

    Dawn: ahahahahahahhahhah, oh your serious

    Barry: It may be a childish dream but its better than being a lab assistant

    Dawn: hmmmmmm

    Rowan: Well I'm going to ask while you take on the League Challenge you keep an eye out for Cyrus and his men

    Lucas: Sounds fair since you did give us Pokemon

    Barry: Ya thanks Professor but I'll proboly just use the Pokemon you gave me to catch an even more powerful one

    Rowan: Hahah I'm sure you will well since you two are going to be looking at all the Pokemon you see anyways I want you take these

    Lucas: What are those

    Rowan: They're Pokedexs, they record data about the Pokemon you encounter

    Barry: Cool

    Rowan: And my final request is this

    Barry: Ya sure anything

    Rowan: I want you to take Dawn with you

    Barry: Except that….

    Dawn: I don't know if I'm on board with this either

    Rowan: Dawn as my lab assistant I need you to go around sinnoh as I cannot anymore at my age

    Dawn: Can't I go with someone else?

    Rowan: No these trainers will be heading to all the major spots in sinnoh to get the gym badges they need and you will need to study all the major spots in sinnoh, you could say its meant to be

    Barry: Didn't you hear the old man, were meant to be

    Dawn: I wouldn't date you if you were the last man on earth

    Barry: You wouldn't be able to get a date even if you were the last woman on Earth if you keep dressing like that

    Dawn: IF YOU HAVE A PROBLEM WITH MY CLOTHES WHY DONT YOU JUST LOOK THE OTHER WAY

    Rowan: Why don't you two take it outside

    Dawn: Your right, indoors is to civilized for a bar-barry-an

    Barry: How long did it take for you to come up with that

    Dawn: It take me long long time barry (in barbarian voice)

    Rowan: Lucas I have something to give to you

    Lucas: Huh what is it

    Rowan: It's an old orb we found in one of the ruins we discovered

    Lucas: Why are you giving it to me?

    Rowan: In all my years I never found a use for it, but I feel like you can and if its important to Cyrus I trust in in your hands more than my own

    Lucas: I'm not the best person to give it to shouldn't you give it to Barry or Dawn

    Rowan: I am very specific with my actions Lucas, I would not be giving this to you if i did not have complete trust in you and your character.

    Rowan: You see those two arguing out there

    Barry: Lets settle this, Turtwig go

    Dawn: No fair you have the advantage

    Barry: I thought you were the master trainer

    Rowan: They need a leader, one with common sense but also guts and willingness to put things on the line. You now command the fire type Chimchar, barry the grass type Turtwig, and dawn the water type Piplup. In battle each of those pokemon is powerful but they alos have weaknesses. But if they all work together, fire, water, and grass, they can cover each others weaknesses and truly shine It is the same with people you see, together your all talented trainers, but together, together you will truly be able to show this world true power

    Lucas: I understand, trust me professor we will be great (runs out and gets dawn and barry to run with him)

    Rowan: (looking out at them run away an aipom walks next to rowan) Aipom my old friend, do you remember that old crown we found excavating?

    It was the most beautiful thing I ever seen, a bring shiny pearl in the center, diamond studs on the side, and all held together by a strong platinum frame.
     
    Last edited:

    DJTiki

    top 3 most uninteresting microcelebrities
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  • I really like this story. Of course, its just Sinnoh, but I love the potrayal you gave the characters. I mostly enjoy the relationships between each character. This would make a great manga :) I can't wait to see more.

    Btw, thread rules say, that too many grammatical errors, can close your story, so you should get on the editing bandwagon soon. Just looking out for you.
     
    Last edited:

    Nolafus

    Aspiring something
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  • Unfortunately, you still missed one rule:
    Only Well Written Script Fics Are Allowed:
    Script fics are commonly seen as an easier way to write a story. Unless you script fic is more than just dialogue, it will be closed. It's okay if you use the script format for dialogue, but please include narration and description.

    I'm afraid this doesn't quite cut it. If you want to write a script fic, make sure it's more than just dialogue.
     
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