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DGexe

Taunter
444
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15
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*has a question she'd like answered, if possible...*

So I'm trying to rewrite this Pokémon/Hellsing (crowd: GASP!) fanfic I have called Depth Perception, but I have a wee-little-itty-bitty issue...

I'm not entirely sure how to go about write it. Wait, wait, I'll not be so vauge: you see, I decided that in this revised version, I'd attempt to write it from an omnipresent (-potent? -scient?) perspective of Arceus as he observes one of his more human subordinates during her and her Pokémon team's intermingling with the Iscariot Division, XIII. That means that, while He can and more than likely will comment on what is going on within the main body of the story, He won't be directly interfering except for the occasional avatar-based "drop in"s on this particular subordinate of His.

I know how to write in 1st and 3rd by themselves, for sure, but I've never mixed the two before, so... does anyone have any writing tips they'd like to share for my writting's sake so I don't confuse the heck out of my readers? *has seen many a mixing of perspectives gone totally awry...*

And apologies if this isn't really an "answerable" question; I'm just a wee bit... what's the word... ? Ah, intimidated I suppose by my own attempts at branching out and thus... well, as I think I said, not sure how to execute this rewrite. Frankly, I read a lot of books (and decent fanfics) in my spare time, and I've never seen anyone mix two perspectives like I have in mind...
 

An-chan

Whoops.
642
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I'm not entirely sure I know what you're talking about, DGexe, so tell me if I'm completely off track.
You could think it like this: if you were following the deeds of someone from your window, how would you tell people about the events that happened to that someone? Add to that your ability to open the window and yell stuff at that someone. How would you tell that someone's story to people so that they understand?

Try to write a short example of what you mean and maybe people will criticize or praise it. I don't know. I assume a narrator like that would work pretty much as a 1st person POV, only without interfereing to the actual story. Other than that, I can't think of anything that'd help you.

Suppose your favorite fic character's birthday is coming up. What would you get him/her as a present?

I'd write a scene in which a grown-up Adan is a well-known intellectual and has to do something heroic. Afterwards, I'd let him be all modest about it. That's the way he likes it. An alternative would be a big chocolate cake.

For Radeem, I'd get a painting of her galloping in a windy, majestic landscape.
 

DGexe

Taunter
444
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15
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I'm not entirely sure I know what you're talking about, DGexe, so tell me if I'm completely off track.
You could think it like this: if you were following the deeds of someone from your window, how would you tell people about the events that happened to that someone? Add to that your ability to open the window and yell stuff at that someone. How would you tell that someone's story to people so that they understand?

Try to write a short example of what you mean and maybe people will criticize or praise it. I don't know. I assume a narrator like that would work pretty much as a 1st person POV, only without interfereing to the actual story. Other than that, I can't think of anything that'd help you.

Now that you mention it... I think that's were I'm trying to get at with this. *scratches her head* And... aaah, I think I get where to gow ith this now. *nodnods* Like a storyteller who's been spying on the characters of his own tale, perhaps? Hm...
 

Bay

6,385
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17
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Hadn't come to this place for a while cause of the flu. :X

Suppose your favorite fic character's birthday is coming up. What would you get him/her as a present?

For Bunny, some history and mythology books. She would totally love that. XD

And DGexe, I've seen first and third person mixed together in some fanfictions and it worked fine. Yeah, perhaps an example of your writing would be better for better analysis.
 

Sunnybeam

when the sky is bright
544
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15
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  • Age 28
  • Seen Jun 9, 2011
Suppose your favorite fic character's birthday is coming up. What would you get him/her as a present?

o.O Uh...I'd get Fuega a Fire Blast TM, then run away before she could do something nasty to me. Or maybe I'd get Kalia...a...no. Never mind. She's even more power-obsessed.

Dang, my characters are screwed up.
 

Ninja Caterpie

AAAAAAAAAAAAA
5,979
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16
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Hmm, Mike would probably like...ah...I dunno, a Pokemon or something maybe for his Birthday.

Offtopic:
Guys, the DPPT discussion is really really really crapped up. xDD The second page has nothing but moved or closed threads! I don't think it's really Horizon's fault, either. I really don't wanna go offtopic, but...yeah.
Spoiler:
 
10,175
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17
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  • Age 37
  • Seen today
This is why I'm glad my section is not that active. And scares people away because it's writing and reading. ;_________;

Plus, my reputation proceeds me.

I'd slit my wrists if I was a DPPt mod, and would have hung up my modstick permanently if stuck over in N00bland. That section has always been like that, with locked/moved threads moving the rule-abiding threads to the nether regions. There's nothing really to be done about it. Other people have suggested things, but...meh.

Oh Andy. It's Halloween. ;; I don't want to leave the house.
 

Ninja Caterpie

AAAAAAAAAAAAA
5,979
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Lucky meh! I live in Australia where Halloween isn't that big. I hardly know stuff. I'll bet that most average people will just go "bugger off" instead of givin' em stuff. Well, old people will likely give people stuff but...yah.

Lucky meh again! All the places I dareth venture in this forum aren't totally spammed out like the DPPt section. The Adv. Generation games are perfectly alright, as is the Fanfiction and Poetry section, well right now at least. And the ROM Hacking section's pretty up to standard, but the Mixed Community Groups area is really good. So, yeah. I'm lucky. I wasn't allowed to get Diamond, but I'm getting Plat when it comes.
 

bobandbill

one more time
16,910
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Lucky meh! I live in Australia where Halloween isn't that big. I hardly know stuff. I'll bet that most average people will just go "bugger off" instead of givin' em stuff. Well, old people will likely give people stuff but...yah.
Australia FTW! (Heh, and you live nearish me as well...)

But yes - Halloween isn't really big here. And I never get door-knockers anyways, as I happen to live on a really steep hill. The steepness of it tends to discourage people from walking up it. (Plus it's extremely windy here ATM as well...).
 

Ninja Caterpie

AAAAAAAAAAAAA
5,979
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Indeed. Not much Halloween support around here. Apparently, my friend's going trick or treating, but not like I care.
Was it hot much there, bobandbill? Over in the city, it reached 30-something.
 
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XD I love the metric system. Because Dark said "30-something" as hot, and I'm freezing my fingers off when it's "30-something" degrees out.

I'm easily amused at six in the morning. (Oh my andy, why am i not in bed yet?)

Halloween really isn't that big of a deal in my neighborhood, since I'm actually the youngest person around, at the ripe old age of twenty-one. At my place of work, however, it's a big deal, with my co-workers (who are all older than I am) dressing up in various costumes. So it just annoys me that, since I don't wear a costume and am one of the few still dressed to actually work, I get stuck doing all the jobs that require climbing, cleaning, and moving dirty items.

Plus, I never really understood the modern-day meaning of Halloween. Mexico's Day of the Dead, which is still celebrated the same way to this day, makes more sense to me.

Perhaps I'm just bitter because I can't eat chocolate these days. =[
 

icomeanon6

It's "I Come Anon"
1,184
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Indeed. Not much Halloween support around here. Apparently, my friend's going trick or treating, but not like I care.
Was it hot much there, bobandbill? Over in the city, it reached 30-something.
It's 30-something right now where I live. Of course, I'm referring to the temperature in Fahrenheit, so it's a little chillier than the non-American part of the world might be led to believe.

As for Halloween, I live in a suburb with lots of little kids, so there'll definitely be some door-knockers. I don't go trick-or-treating, but some of my friends and I will probably have some sort of get-together or other celebration because we like making the most out of meaningless occasions.

My biggest concern right now, however, is school, which is why I haven't been posting as of late, and is why I need to stop posting right now so I don't miss the bus.

Happy Halloween, all! Just one more shopping day until All Saint's Day!
 

bobandbill

one more time
16,910
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Indeed. Not much Halloween support around here. Apparently, my friend's going trick or treating, but not like I care.
Was it hot much there, bobandbill? Over in the city, it reached 30-something.
It was rather cool until around 2 o'clock - then suddenly it got quite hot, and certainly beyond 30-something.

And hurrah for a giant country that insists to stick to a system which nobody else uses. -_-

Yep, don't think too many were knocking on doors here... not the best weather to do so.
 
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An-chan

Whoops.
642
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15
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Well, at least Halloween is much better than the traditional Finnish pyhäinmiestenpäivä (translates roughly to Saint Men's Day, although it is a night celebration). Our way of celebrating practically includes paying a visit to the graveyard and, then, well, that's basically it. Thanks to Christianity for ruining a festival we had before the King of Sweden decided we sould be Christians and all non-Christian celebrations should be stopped. Before, we had this thing called kekri, which was held around the end of October. It was a two-day long festival when people ate delicious food and roamed around in their village in little groups, paying visits to their neighbours and friends. Every group had a man dressed as a scary goat called the kekri goat with them. Supposedly that was to increase the well-being of the cattle or something. Finnish people were rather superstitious back in the 18th century.

Anyway, that'd certainly be a lot more fun than what we do here nowadays, eh?

Of course the modern kids, brought up by television (which, quite frankly, has so many American shows on nowadays that kids learn to speak English even before they go to school) instead of their parents, want to go trick or treating, have Halloween parties, watch horror movies and whatnot. Unfortunately, however, not many people give them any candy, because we have a Halloweenish celebration just before Easter. You know, they don't want to buy two tons of candy twice a year.

I like countries with their own, unique traditions... I think it's going to be really lame if everyone just forgets their original traditions and move on to the ones of a bigger nation.
...We should have them both! :laugh:
 

txteclipse

The Last
2,322
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16
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Yay, Halloween. I'm obsessed with this holiday for some reason. I literally have two skulls accompanying me on my desk, a carved pumpkin by my left leg, a light-up tombstone next to that, spiderwebs on my corkboard, a candy platter on my mini fridge, and a blacklight shining on everything. And I live in a dorm room. And it isn't nighttime yet.

I'm surprised my roommate hasn't lynched me.
 

Bay

6,385
Posts
17
Years
Yay, Halloween. I'm obsessed with this holiday for some reason. I literally have two skulls accompanying me on my desk, a carved pumpkin by my left leg, a light-up tombstone next to that, spiderwebs on my corkboard, a candy platter on my mini fridge, and a blacklight shining on everything. And I live in a dorm room. And it isn't nighttime yet.

I'm surprised my roommate hasn't lynched me.

Heh, awesome. XD;

I used to be into Halloween when I was younger, but for some reason I grew out of it.

Not really going to do much this Halloween, just giving the candy to the trick-or-treaters. At work though, I think a few people will dress in costumes. XD
 

Elite Overlord LeSabre™

On that 'Non stop road'
9,876
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16
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Halloween is awesome. I'm going to a party later tonight, from which I may not return acting coherently.

I would cosplay as Lisa, but nobody in that circle of friends knows who she is (or even knows I write fanfiction). And finding a brown-haired wig at the party store is hard as heck... I did find a dress resembling Lisa's on eBay a while back though XD
 

Sike_Saner

*aromatisse noise*
169
Posts
17
Years
Not really going to do much this Halloween, just giving the candy to the trick-or-treaters.

Same here. I doubt there'll be many kids showing up here, though; they've been rather scarce pretty much every year I've lived here. As such, I suspect that there's going to be at least some candy left over. Fwee to that, I say. ^^
 

Ninja Caterpie

AAAAAAAAAAAAA
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I like candy too! Although...I don't remember as many people calling it candy over here...Yay for the metric system and our awesome country that uses it! It's everyone else that's silly! IT'S NOT US!!!!

It appears that in both of our countries, the weather last night wasn't especially good. Well, cold over there, but...it appeared to be pretty good, albeit really windy, here.
 

DGexe

Taunter
444
Posts
15
Years
At the suggestion of An-chan and Bay, I've decided that yes... I shall post a bit of what I had in mind for narrative manners in Depth Perception. There are two versions, and I'll be sure to explain what's different between the two...

Version 1: Raw, as I call it— this one posesses first person in parts where Arceus explains things that don't directly explain the story. Don't worry, you'll probably see what I mean as you read it.

Spoiler:


As you can see, this also has Lauren's raw accent in; I'm a tad curious as to people's reactions to accents in fanfics, on here at least.

Version 2: Cleaner— this version has the italisized part in all past tense instead of present. I'm not too sure if the raw version makes it look unnatural with the altered tenses or not... also, Lauren's accent has been done away with. In canon, it exists, but it just isn't typed out here.

Spoiler:


So, ah, thoughts? Also, my apologies if you would've prefered this to be in another thread all by itself; I can edit this post and do that easily enough without complaints.
 
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