favorite one-liners

Harley Quinn said:

i'm shocked
i'm genuinely, positively shocked

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Care to elaborate as to why?

maccrash said:

like, to echo what other people have said, it actually genuinely pains me to even IMAGINE saying those to someone you're pursuing. but more power to you man. that is a level of courage I will never achieve (do I even want to?).

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Yeah because a 16-17 year old knew any better when crushing on 3 different girls throughout the 4 years in high school.

Alfieri said:

Care to elaborate as to why?

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i'm trying to process the thought of being approached and not only being delivered a one liner in the first place, but multiple pokémon ones at that
that i can picture, if not understand
what i'm at a loss for is those one liners being successful in various situations

what exactly is your hold over the fabric of the universe

Oh, c'mon now. I hate pick-up lines, but Pokémon ones are 100% more bearable. Just saying, guys.

Can I just point out that at no time did the OP say anything about pick-up lines.

frustrated, pc? ;]

honey said:

title change yo.

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shenanigans said:

Can I just point out that at no time did the OP say anything about pick-up lines.

frustrated, pc? ;]

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The old title was pick-up lines and was changed to one-liners.

nobody has ever used a pick up line on me. i remember reading so many of them off of tumblr.
the dairy queen and burger king is adorable.

Alfieri said:

The old title was pick-up lines and was changed to one-liners.

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well in that case if I were an enzyme I'd be DNA helicase because I want to unzip your genes

you must be jamaican because jamaican me crazy

I don't know if this counts but someone once said to me "I hope you're the WMD and they fire you into America"

It was during that time like two years ago when people were freaking out over North Korea's underground nuclear tests. I'm Chinese, but that made me laugh.

Do you own a chicken farm?

Cuz you sure know how to raise a cock.

Do you have a mirror in your pants? Cause I can see myself in them.

Hur. Hur. I didn't realize that anybody actually USED pickup lines. I thought they were the universal equivalent of a knock-knock joke.

One-liners always make me cringe.

That's why I never use them to pick up women.

Pick up lines? Lmao.

I don't use any conventional pickup lines, I put a spin on most of mine and they are as follow. .

* Ignore her when she speaks *
* Ignore her when she waves *
* Ignore her when she smiles *

Sadly, ignoring people works more than actually speaking to them. When silence becomes ineffective I'll then proceed to using this BODACIOUS pick up Iine learned in middle school. " Girl, If I could rearranged the alphabet I'd put u&i together ".

You're like a pokeball cause you captured my heart.:3c

chicken nuggets are like ma family

Usually when they ask for a lighter I light the cig for em, then tell no problem, whenever you need a fire its right here. "Right here" is my inner left coat pocket, next to my heart. Shit works every time.

BUT WHY IS ALL THE RUM GONE!?

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I wanna post a Groucho Marx one, but it sounds filthy, even out of context... ;(