tfw the drugs kick in

flight said:

A year back or so, I used to take hydrocodone because I had really bad toothache pain and it was realistically the only way to treat it.

....I really miss it (the drug, not the toothache).

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just come smoke with me angie. we'll make a factory jealous. <3

Not really, but I probably should. I've realized I have a ton of issues I never knew about. I mean, I knew about them I just didn't care enough to go and look for actual labels for them. I didn't know the issue I had was massive OCD, and it's a horrible thing. People try to make it seem like a cute little thing but it's anything but that. It's horrible living with it, and that's by far the least of my issues. I have major depression, major anxiety (like, major. panic attacks all the time, suicidal thoughts every day, etc.) but I'm too scared to go see a doctor about any of that.

I just smoke a lot of cigarettes and occasionally weed sometimes. Cigs help me. I realize there's only one path my life is leading to, though.

I take prescribed Isotretinoin for my acne and acne scarring; three tablets a day in one go. They're really tiny and easy to take though so it's not like I mind. Before that I was on some sort of cream for my acne but it didn't work at all.

I used to take tablets for anxiety a little while back and anti-depressants even further back but I don't need to take either of them anymore. Apart from that, I take the occasional painkiller and that's it.

I used to be on sleep meds and anxiety meds. Not anymore. Therapy is my medication nowadays.

Would multivitamins count?

I put myself back on Zoloft this week for the first time in years. I've noticed a difference. Rather than feeling depressed through most of the day it just hits me in a few strong bursts. I would self-medicate with weed if I had a connect as well as someone to smoke with. I only got high a few times during my teen years but it always mellowed me out heaps.

used to take citalopram & lexapro in the past, but discontinued after we couldn't find a dosage of either that didn't leave me feeling seriously ill or suicidal

two tablets of paroxetine per day for major depression, one tablet of xanax for anxiety but on alternating days or when i am feeling particularly/unnaturally stressed out

currently consulting doctor for how HRT will affect me in combination with these drugs

I take Concerta for my ADHD, abilify for my horrible anxiety. I also take a blood pressure medication because the Concerta has been discovered to cause high blood pressure in me. Then, I take Klonopin as needed for anxiety. I also take vistaril as needed for allergy hives due to anxiety (this is hard to explain). Oh, and I take Clonidine to help me sleep at night...

The Clonidine helps to relax my body at night, not put me to sleep by the way. Also, I've never self-medicated for any reason unless you count over the counter stuff like pain pills or something. The Concerta helps me by keeping my focus on things longer since my short attention span is horrible. I forget what else it does. When I was younger, I had a mixed form of ADHD. It was so bad that once they found out I actually had it that they put me on ADHD medication after another for the duration of my life since second grade.

It wasn't until I finally settled on Concerta, and I have been taking it for years now. With the abilify, I used to get horrible anxiety that caused severe depressive episodes in me. It was getting to the point where I would do nothing but self-harm. So, I told my ex-psychiatrist about it. I said that an ex-friend mentioned abilify to me, so he put me on it. It's improved my life a hell of a lot more. I still get short bouts of anxiety every now and then, especially now with my convention coming up. That's why I also have the Klonopin to help it when it gets too hard to control on my own.