==> Vinnie: Go kick some ass. Ignore trying to keep language clean
Mr. Dinosaur replies first, unsurprisingly. He/she seems awfully cheerful, especially in such a weird situation.
BV: Whoa, whoa. hold your velociraptors, I'm fine.
BV: But there are a few enemies here so if you need to say something, now is the time
BV: Can you tell me a little bit about this "game"?
BV: (hurry, I'm about to be afk)
VC: velociraptors what?
VC: ah I'm glad to hear you're ok!!
VC: can't see you anymore
VC: but enemies! yes there are always enemies. you'll learn to battle them and get stronger automatically as you kill them
VC: and killing isn't a bad thing here!!
VC: they aren't really alive in the same way we are
VC: or so I'd like to think :/
VC: just keep defeating them and you'll soon feel stronger and faster!
VC: it's like magic!! :D
BV: Okay, so its like an rpg,
BV: and we get exp and level up as we go?
BV: Alright, thanks. That's actually helpful.
So this game is an rpg, or rather it has rpg like elements.....that somehow makes me feel more comfortable, as RPGs were always my specialty. So does that mean there are skill requirements for weapons? Like I need 30 strength to use a bigger gunblade? Well....I guess its less of a numerical value, and I just get generally stronger as I go. Maybe I can use my Revolverblade better after I shred some enemies?
Speaking of enemies, Vieve is in a little trouble too.
-- paintSplatter begun pestering bemyValentine --
PS: You okay?
PS: If you run into any of those imps beware they're dangerous.
PS: I guess you're in Medium now
BV: Oui, all good here.
BV: And yes, il y a enemies.
BV: Shoot, I meant "there are enemies". My french keeps slipping in.
BV: I'm gonna guess and say that you fought the enemies already? Are you and your family okay?
PS: Yes, I fought them!
PS: My brother's here but Ricardo knocked him out with a chair!
PS: TO THE HEAD.
BV: Oh, crap
BV: what the hell is ricardo thinking?
BV: Good luck dealing with him, I feel sorry for you.
Damn, I didn't know Ricardo was so stupid. I mean he's a big prick, but he's never done something this stupid out of spite. Maybe his finger slipped? I know I had a hard time as the serve-
****! Candice! I forgot about her....
Switching over to my server window, I see her at her computer with a Mountain Dew. At least she was safe...for now.
I, on the other hand, was in trouble. The pink guys were just outside the door. Kefka swoops up high, laughing all the while. Mémé looked at me with a hard expression.
"Go get them, Vinnie!"
I nod quickly, and captalogue my laptop. I grab my Revolverblade, and hop out the open window. My front yard is gone, and sand replaces it. My mailbox is still there, though....
The enemies flay their wings to stop themselves. Flay? Is that even a word? Whatever, they spread them out like they're catching the wind. They come to a rest on the ground, and squawk. .....yeah. Its pretty lame. Up close, I can see that they look like...flamingos. Yeah, kinda like flamingos only with arms
and wings. At the end of their hands are vicious claws, almost as sharp as their teeth. Its really weird seeing a beak with sharp teeth in it. (Oh of all the weird things going on, that's what I notice?)
I grip my sword with both hands, and swing it in the general direction of the closest one. It jumps up and flies back a few feet.
"Oh, shi-!" The weight of the Revolverblade sends me stumbling and tripping over my feet to the left. I instinctively let go of my sword to stop from impaling myself on the fall. It gets half buried in sand as I face-plant a few feet away. Ugh. I hope Mémé isn't watching. I spit out the sand in my mouth and try to stand up, but the sand makes it difficult. I throw a blind punch as an enemy comes close, trying to deter it. It just laughs manically and claws at my arm. I snatch it back before he can get his grubby hands on my shirt. Thinking quick, I kick his leg from my crab-walk position, and....well, crab-walk backwards into a standing position. The demon thing is on one knee, squawking fiercely. I grab my sword from the ground, and run back a bit. I get it nice and situated in my hands while one of the enemies flies towards me.
"Swing, batter batter! Sa- wing!" oh, Kefka.
I slash horizontally to the left as he comes close, but I go too early and only manage to cut across his face and bury the tip of my sword in the sand. He falls into the sand head first.
"BOOOOOOOOOO!" calls Kefka from above, "You've never played baseball, have you Vinnie?" He laughs hysterically.
I try to run around him while he's down, but out of nowhere his buddy grabs me and holds tight. I drop my sword, but I have bigger problems. The enemy is holding me in place while the kneeling goon dramatically rises, presumably to kill me.
"N-no!" I yell as I try and struggle from its grip. Kefka laughs from above.
"I once knew a boy named Vinnie,
He always looked rather skinny,
His luck ran out,
During a hellish bout,
Et maintenant, sa vie est finie~."
He said that last line in less of a singsong voice than the rest. It... almost sounded like a threat....but hey, it was just Kefkasprite. He's always like that. Oh yeah, that guy is holding me. And his buddy is still dramatically approaching me.
I need some room to breathe,
but this ****** wont let me leave.
I squirm and flail,
to no avail,
****. What else rhymes with breathe?
Hell, I was never good at poetry. But I have to pass those six seconds somehow, right? My plan was almost in motion....
As the demon guy got within range, I jumped back on his pal holding me and kicked both legs out with all my might, hoping to catch Mr. Dramatic Rise. But, alas, Kefka's douchebaggery was not over. Apparently, he chose now to do something, and flew down in between me and Mr. Drama. So my power kick hit him square in the chest, sending him sprawling on top of Drama king, who explodes underneath Kefka. Little bits of...(wait. Are those fruit gushers?) stuff fly out from underneath Kefka.
"Owie!" Kefka yells as he gets up, "What was that for, you worthless little maggot?! If I knew you were so terrible at fighting I would've done this myself!"
"Sorry! I thought you were just watching!" I yelled, but he just ignored me and flew off, yelling about how the youth of France these days have no respect for narcissistic royal jesters.
Grabby pants McGee over here still wont let go of me, and he's still trying to fly off with me. I sigh. This is lame. So lame. I shake back and forth, to and fro, but the demon holds tight. Not knowing what else to do, I fall back on him. He lets me go and jumps out of the way, using his wings to boost his jumping distance. I hit the ground, but the sand softens my fall. I get up quickly, before another dick sits on me or something. I run past the gushers on the ground, and grab my sword. The weight in my hands feels.....comforting, somehow. I put my finger on the trigger and pull. The resulting click brings me more comfort. Geez, I probably sound like one of those gangster gunslingers right now. I get my back against the door, which is slightly ajar. This is unsettling, as I left it closed for a reason. But whatever.
My foe is now flying back to me. I barre my Revolverblade in preparation for the impact. As he comes closer, I think of being an American Baseball player. I am a big, steroid abusing ******* with ego issues. Everyone hates me, bet hell, I can bat. And bat I shall. I swing my sword at just the right tim-
"METHUSELAH!"
Kefka flies in, grabbing the imp and carrying him away. My sword slashes through thin air. God Dammit Kefka. He flies off with his prey, then drops him behind my house somewhere.
Kefka laughs from the distance. His voice carries over a mocking, nagging voice.
"Sorry! I thought you were just watching!" his voice now goes back to normal,"Now we've both had foiled plans......lover boy!"
"WHAT! YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED ONE OF MY PLANS YOU BIG DICKWAD! THAT'S TWO NOW!"
Kekfa laughs harder.
"Oopsies! My bad! Hee heee heee hee hee hee!"
Well ****. Now there's a demon prowling around somewhere, and I have no idea where he is-
"AAAAAAAAA THIS IS SO RIDICULOUS!"
I'm tackled to the ground by Mr. Grabbsworth. Luckily, he doesn't hold on, and gets off quickly. I get up and grab my sword in one fluid motion and spin around, swinging madly. But the demon is out of range, and I end up just wasting my energy. Panting heavily, I beckon.
"You...stupid...f*cking....prick.....come and...get some!"
I charge at these words, bringing the Revolverblade down as I go. The demon sidesteps out of the way, but I quickly turned and slammed my foot down on his toes. He flinches in pain, and that gives me enough time to literally fall on top of him with my sword, sharp end down. Short story even shorter, he died.
"Jesus Christ that was stupid."
I sit down, and return my Revolverblade to it's card. Somewhere in my house I hear Kefka laughing. What a ******.