• Our software update is now concluded. You will need to reset your password to log in. In order to do this, you will have to click "Log in" in the top right corner and then "Forgot your password?".
  • Welcome to PokéCommunity! Register now and join one of the best fan communities on the 'net to talk Pokémon and more! We are not affiliated with The Pokémon Company or Nintendo.

A NEW ERA!

26
Posts
15
Years
    • Seen Oct 29, 2008
    hey people this a wizard action/drama film which will be rated 13 as i dont know what it will be like!

    ok this will need to be known to understand the story:
    there is 10 grades which have spells within them so if you are level 2 you may not use level 3 spells and so on!

    preview:
    charcters:
    tom: 12 year old boy...grade 2...best subject is potions...best friend is lilly...outgoing.
    molly: 12 year old girl...grade 2...best subject is defence...best firend is liam...shy.
    lilly: 13 year old girl...grade 3...best suject is defence...best friend is tom...outgoin.
    mrs lea: 43 year old woman...grade 5...best subject was potions...lilly's mum...happy.
    mr kyle: a 38 year old man...grade 7...best subject was attack...lilly's dad...loud.
    liam: 15 year old boy...grade 5...best subject is everything...evil/no friends...evil.
    wizard louis: 29 year old man...grade 7...teaches magical creatures...nice.
    jim lugvid: 91 year old man...grade 9...teaches everything...caring/kind.
    yuri: 45 year old man...grade 8...liams dad...evil/mean!
    (extra's to)

    ok so here it goes:

    chapter 1:

    DAY 1
    "ok guys listen now and we will start....shhh.shh" mr kyle ordered.
    "sir what is it tha we are doing today" lilly asked.
    then a knock on the door.
    "come in" mr kyle replied to the knock!
    then a small man infact very small he was the size of an average 3 year old child. he walked into the room and said:
    "listen up im mr jim lugvid and im your head teacher" he explained!
    "we know that sir you say that all the time" the class muttered aloud!

    "yes ok but anyway tommorow this class is going out on a trip to the high deadly cliffs of mudhorn village about an hour away so in the morning head straight to the canteen then here ok, you will then get your hover boards and set out ok. The teachers going along with you will be mr kyle and mr. yuri!" he told the class.
    he left the room and mr. klye said: "ok back to class work now get ready"!

    then a loud horn like that of a ship sounded. "ok kfolow me" mr. kyle said!
    "dad whats going on" lilly aksed!
    well mr. kyle only knew it was a warning call and the school had to be abandoned.
    while going out the door to the field liam started tripping people up using the trip-em spell. After making to the field they stopped and got in order of their names!

    After a count the head master made his way out and told the school:
    "its not anything to worry about its just the goblins that work in the basement for the school have broke out and are wrecking the school but dont panic" he said!

    After an hour of waiting the school children went back inside!

    DAY 2:
    The early morning light shone into mr. klye's teaching room as 1 by 1 the students came flooding in. 20 minutes later all student were present and mr. kyle got his flying carpet ready and lilly and tom sat on it as they were still learning hoverboards and brooms!
    into the journey mr. kyle took the lead and mr. yuri at the back!
    "isnt this great honey" mr. kyle asked
    "yer but its chilly" she replied.
    at the back of the class was mr. yuri who was mean and horrible with no manners or a heart well if a heart of stone counts he has.
    "fell-em marshem" he spoke a spell
    then a few wizards dropped to the ground screaming, mr. kyle was to far ahead to hear but mr. yuri just left them as liam shouted:
    "good job dad you told em"
    as they were about to land mr. yuri casted another spell:
    "dis-a-persas". a few students then just dissapeared!

    end of chapter 1
     
    126
    Posts
    15
    Years
  • Okay, I hope this doesn't sound like a flame but this is... diabolical to be exact. Forgetting capital letters, too many exclamation marks, not enough description. You really need to take a look at some examples of other work. This should be re-written, adding better punctuation and far more description. I would also get rid of your preview part. I may be sounding harsh but, if you are serious about writing and want to improve, you should not write as if you were just chatting casually over the internet.
     
    Last edited:
    26
    Posts
    15
    Years
    • Seen Oct 29, 2008
    im sorry i didnt realise i posted tghis is was just a random idea that i just typed up so this probably wont be finished!
     
    Back
    Top