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[Pokémon] Adventures

202
Posts
15
Years
    • Seen Jan 5, 2014
    Chapter 1​
    Josh was always excited when he was around Pokémon. But when he turned ten he was rejected for recklessness. He has turned thirteen and still needs a Pokémon. Tomorrow is his chance. But first he must pass a written and battle exam. The next morning he got out of bed, still in his green pajamas, he walked outside to get the mail and in the mail was his exam. Josh had studied hard for it and now it might pay off. "Mom my exam is here." He shouted up the stairs still climbing them. When he shut the door to his room the sun light felt intense and that made him nervous and is the reason why he failed. But if he fails this time he will never get his Pokémon. When he was done he quickly changed into his pure red shirt and blue jeans plus his white socks and brown shoes. When he got down stairs his dad got home. "Son if you get your pokedex today here is a region map for your journey in Kanto." He handed him a chip like thing. "Thanks dad." Outside was blazing hot and the two houses in front's pure red color made it even hotter and professor Oak's lab was top of a hill top in the distance.
     

    Tycho

    Hey look, a thing!
    6
    Posts
    14
    Years
  • Where to start... Your story is riddled with fragment sentences and has almost no transitions. Not to mention it is just plain short. It needs more meat on its bones! Add some description and maybe throw in some of your main characters thoughts on the events. I'll be more in depth when there is more to be in depth about.
     
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