Yeeeeeah. I used to say that 3-4 years up and 2-3 years down was my limit. Buuut. Things change. Hrrm. Now I'm not so sure.
What bugs me the most is that it somehow feels more okay for a 25 y o man to date a 19 y o woman than the other way around. It shouldn't have to be that way. As long as you get along and can be at similar enough stages in life, age is but a number. And women can be older than their male partners, totally.
This is the general accepted view here by 90% of people in Berlin and it bugs me to no end whatsoever. Like, ok maybe I'm used to the idea of the woman being older since my mum is older than my dad, but even still, I don't get why this is actually a thing. Why do women dislike to date down the ages, and why do men seem to dislike dating up somewhat (though less so than women dislike dating down from my experience)?
Nah if someone's an adult finding just legal teenagers attractive it's fucking weird and I'll make it my business because common sense should tell someone not to go after a barely legal person. It's about protecting people from potential predators and abusers.
That actually isn't any of your business. Our instincts are programmed to make us feel a natural attraction to those who are sexually mature, and if they are legal then our instincts will make us feel an attraction to them. That's not weird, it's natural. If you find that weird you seriously need to take a chill pill man and not involve yourself in other peoples' turn-ons. Like, making it your business is just invasive, snooty and out of order. Because their relationship has nothing to do with you. What the couple do together doesn't involve you, doesn't require your input nor your approval. If the two have given their consent and are both legal, then there is absolutely nothing you have any right to say about it.
Get over it. As a """"mature"""" teenager, even I made ridiculous lapses in judgement and got myself into really potentially dangerous situations without realizing the impact of what I was doing. Teenagers deserve trust and independence - but we're talking about protecting people from abuse among other things soooooooooooooooooooooo lol
Erm, I'm pretty sure a sex-legal teenager is quite capable of taking measures themselves against abuse. They don't need your "protection" if that's what you want to call it. But you're not really helping anyone, you're just restricting their chances at gaining experience themselves. It's not just teenagers that make these "ridiculous lapses in judgement" either. Adults do this too (see Ashley Madison articles for example). Not every relationship involving a rather large age-gap like a 17 and 25 year old is a form of abuse. Many of them can be stable, loving relationships and in fact, 99.99% of them are. Sure, they may not last long but that doesn't make them something to fear or "protect" people from. You have no right to think you're in any position to make a better decision than those who would be involved in the relationship themselves.
I kind of agree with Moogles, in that teenagers often think themselves 'mature' and able to handle adult relationships but in the long run they're not actually ready for it.
I speak from my own experience only, of course.
I think it's probably true for the large majority of teenagers.
A majority of teenagers may be irresponsible and still gaining experience, but this doesn't make them stupid and incapable of reasonable judgement of character of their prospective partner. Most teenagers are able to identify whether or not they want to engage in a relationship, and are sensible enough to end it once things start going south (if they even do). And what is an "adult" relationship? I've see teenagers dedicating themselves to their partner, growing up with them and eventually marrying them as a stable, loving couple. I've also seen adults constantly sleeping around, never settling and being very childish about their relationships, like a primary-school kid would behave. There is no 'teenage' relationships and 'adult' relationships there are just relationships, and the experience everyone has while in one is different. You cannot categorise relationships in this way.
As for my own thoughts, I have found that being with someone of a similar age-group doesn't matter so much as being able to be compassionate towards your partner. You have to be able to be civil with one another, share interests but also have differing ones too. You have to be able to respect the need for other human contact i.e. friend nights out. What matters is not how old a person is, but your attitude towards each other and the mutuality of the feelings you have. These are the important factors, not age. And it's not anyone's place to interject on someone else's relationship and deny it, or take charge of it, because you have NO right to do that, and should probably worry about your own life before the other person's. People need to get a drink, a chill pill and stop being pretentious, overbearing and controlling.
