All about sexuality

[Grand Wizard Ryan]

What's wrong with letting people have their plethora of labels. We have a ♥♥♥♥ ton of words to describe personality and looks, so why not sexuality? It may be that some people just want to find something "off the beaten path", I don't disagree, but it's not harming anybody and I'd honestly prefer this than having the two options of straight or gay and ignoring anything in between.

A label is just a label to many people, but to some people it can be a very important part of their identity. Whether it's misguided or not is not really for anybody else to judge... especially when it's something as harmless as talking about your own sexuality on a thread that asks that very question.

To be told your sexuality is a phase (whether it is or not, who cares?), or you know just that it doesn't exist at all, kind of sounds very similar to what gay people have been told in the past... and present.

Okay, fair point concerning the personality and a lot of words to describe it, but with sexuality sometimes it really does stop being about sexuality and something completely different. Honestly, I've never once seen the difference between pansexual and bisexual. I may sound close minded here, but is there really any of option than to like people your gender, people of the opposite gender, both or yourself? Unless if you count animals and inanimate objects, but that's when it starts to get a little weird (and illegal, in most countries).

What do you expect me to do? Just decide on my own sexuality, a large aspect of my life, just for the sake of discussion in a thread on some forum on the internet? Sure, it may be misguided to judge somebody, but it's going to happen regardless. It's wrong to kill, but people still do it. I am ♥♥♥♥ing sick of people judging me, and I would like one aspect of my life where people don't judge me. To not stick a label on myself seems like the only way to do that, hence why I leave my sexuality undefined. I don't want people going "oh you're gay/bi, that's so cool!" or people thinking that I don't know that it's like to be gay because I'm straight.

I will agree that the being told it's a phase thing is quite harsh, as for it not existing. If you think that being gay is a phase then cool, but keep it to yourself and don't go putting people down about it. That's the way I see it.

 

[Polar Spectrum]

"The main reason people think I'm gay? On my myspace profile... I put; 'not sure'. Yeah, yeah - not; beecause I'm not sure - I just love that that was an option. For sexual orientation - that was an option, 'not sure'. They have straight... gay... bisexual... noooo ♥♥♥♥in' idea dude. No idea. Like who is that for, you have NO idea. Like, not even close, I - ah, I have NO idea what's going on. Like, I just jerked off looking at my stove... what does that mean??? Dude, I have no idea. I have no idea - I'm gonna put not sure." ~ Nick Swardson.

This thread reminded me of that bit from a comedian hahah. I don't sympathize with that, just thought it was funny. I can get not being sure about it.

Personally, I feel what Azonic said up above. Forget a sexuality term, call me amorous. I like liking and I love love. There we go.

 

[Oryx]

Okay, fair point concerning the personality and a lot of words to describe it, but with sexuality sometimes it really does stop being about sexuality and something completely different. Honestly, I've never once seen the difference between pansexual and bisexual. I may sound close minded here, but is there really any of option than to like people your gender, people of the opposite gender, both or yourself? Unless if you count animals and inanimate objects, but that's when it starts to get a little weird (and illegal, in most countries).

What do you expect me to do? Just decide on my own sexuality, a large aspect of my life, just for the sake of discussion in a thread on some forum on the internet? Sure, it may be misguided to judge somebody, but it's going to happen regardless. It's wrong to kill, but people still do it. I am ♥♥♥♥ing sick of people judging me, and I would like one aspect of my life where people don't judge me. To not stick a label on myself seems like the only way to do that, hence why I leave my sexuality undefined. I don't want people going "oh you're gay/bi, that's so cool!" or people thinking that I don't know that it's like to be gay because I'm straight.

I will agree that the being told it's a phase thing is quite harsh, as for it not existing. If you think that being gay is a phase then cool, but keep it to yourself and don't go putting people down about it. That's the way I see it.

There's actually a lot of disagreement about pansexuality, because often pansexuals define it as being attracted to both genders/sexes and everything in between, trans* people in all points of transition, etc. But then many bisexuals feel the same way and felt like pansexuality is forcing a definition of their sexuality onto them - namely, that they're not interested in anything on the gender spectrum except for the ends.

It's all very complicated and I kind of want to throw more terms at it until it explodes into a critical mass and we finally get to the point where people can just do what they want and not have to worry about labeling themselves.

 

[Rogue planet]

What do you expect me to do? Just decide on my own sexuality, a large aspect of my life, just for the sake of discussion in a thread on some forum on the internet? Sure, it may be misguided to judge somebody, but it's going to happen regardless. It's wrong to kill, but people still do it. I am ♥♥♥♥ing sick of people judging me, and I would like one aspect of my life where people don't judge me. To not stick a label on myself seems like the only way to do that, hence why I leave my sexuality undefined. I don't want people going "oh you're gay/bi, that's so cool!" or people thinking that I don't know that it's like to be gay because I'm straight.

That's the thing though. Nobody is telling you that you have to pick a label, you have a right to reject labels for yourself, absolutely. But to reject the label itself and the people that choose to use it isn't really fair. People have a right to want a label, same as anyone has a right to not want that.

I will agree that the being told it's a phase thing is quite harsh, as for it not existing. If you think that being gay is a phase then cool, but keep it to yourself and don't go putting people down about it. That's the way I see it.

Exactly my point, but for all labels, not just homosexuality. It's just a way to describe your own personal feelings, and to put people down for being open about it is at best rude and at worst reinforcing heteronormativity.

 

[Spinor]

I'm straight for all practical purposes. Though I did fantasize about a guy once or twice. It was an interesting experience feeling a slight attraction like that, but it looks like it was completely a one time incidence; only boobies can turn me on now.

 

[Yato]

I'm not too certain of my sexuality. I've gone from calling myself straight to bisexual to straight again. I find myself more attracted to males' bodies, but I've crushed on people of both genders due to their personalities. Don't even know if I've ever felt romantic love towards anyone, as I've never been in a relationship deeper than being close friends with someone. Maybe being in a relationship would help me figure out my sexuality and what it means to be in love; conversely, maybe it won't. But for right now, I identify myself as being straight, though I wouldn't be against dating women. (I guess that'd make me bicurious? I still don't understand all the labels x_x)

 

[TwilightBlade]

I'm attracted to guys, but I'm too shy around them. I can admire a woman when she has physical characteristics that I desire for myself, but I don't develop a crush over her. What can I say, I just keep my distance from people.

 

[Superjub]

That's the thing though. Nobody is telling you that you have to pick a label, you have a right to reject labels for yourself, absolutely. But to reject the label itself and the people that choose to use it isn't really fair. People have a right to want a label, same as anyone has a right to not want that.


Exactly my point, but for all labels, not just homosexuality. It's just a way to describe your own personal feelings, and to put people down for being open about it is at best rude and at worst reinforcing heteronormativity.

Eh, while I do believe how someone labels themselves is their own business, I do believe some people on the internet ^{cough a select few tumblr users} think they can take this, add labels to themselves simply because they strive to be unique or "less privileged" so they can claim to be the victims in most scenarios and believe that hate speech aimed at those who are "more privileged" is justified. Obviously not all of them are like that but it's these kinds of people who give it a bad name. :\

Anyway, as for me... yeah I'm pretty gay and only really into a certain... type of male really. Yeah, I like to broaden my horizons lol. I've known since I was about 12 (maybe even earlier idk), rejected it for a few years but I'm pretty open now. In the past few weeks I've seriously told my family and they did take it fairly well although they didn't believe it really at first. It's just a part of me though tbh, it doesn't really define me or anything. :)
Also this is my first time saying it on the internet on an account that isn't a throwaway so there's that too. ^^'

 

[Corvus of the Black Night]

Honestly, the reason why so many labels are so bad is because the general public doesn't usually understand what they mean, and they're read as overpretentious or covering up a more embarrassing truth. It essentially makes your sexuality a joke. If your sexuality is that complicated, it is just better to explain it because then communication is not lost. It also undermines the causes such as transgenderism and gay marriage because it alienates the majority and makes them feel inherently uncomfortable because of refusing to let them understand you.

Demisexual and other similar "sexualities" fail in that they do nothing to explain your sexual orientation, but rather your behaviour and preferences towards courtship. Not only this but it again confuses people, especially on the definition of "sexual orientation".

 

[Rogue planet]

Eh, while I do believe how someone labels themselves is their own business, I do believe some people on the internet ^{cough a select few tumblr users} think they can take this, add labels to themselves simply because they strive to be unique or "less privileged" so they can claim to be the victims in most scenarios and believe that hate speech aimed at those who are "more privileged" is justified. Obviously not all of them are like that but it's these kinds of people who give it a bad name. :\

That's a bit of a slippery slope, we're not on tumblr and I've not seen anyone do that in this thread. Never actually seen it anywhere else either, but oh well. Is this a reason to dismiss everyone that uses a particular label?

Honestly, the reason why so many labels are so bad is because the general public doesn't usually understand what they mean

All the more reason to use them more often so that it becomes more common.

and they're read as overpretentious or covering up a more embarrassing truth. It essentially makes your sexuality a joke. If your sexuality is that complicated, it is just better to explain it because then communication is not lost.

I doubt many people fling these terms around very freely in reality exactly for this reason. It's not wrong of you to say that people won't take it seriously, but I do think it's wrong to say the solution is to stop using them. Aren't we meant to be striving for a time where people won't be judged on their sexuality? Right now people can't even post about it online without getting called out on it, so we're obviously quite far away from being able to talk about it openly irl.

It also undermines the causes such as transgenderism and gay marriage because it alienates the majority and makes them feel inherently uncomfortable because of refusing to let them understand you

Who's refusing to let others understand them? Not sure where that's coming from, it's not like these sexuality labels are some form of secret code. In fact I see the opposite, constant attempts to explain what they mean, because actually they want to be understood. Isn't that the whole point of a label in the first place?

I've heard some gay people use the same argument against transgender. I really don't buy the idea that it's a widespread issue, but I cannot doubt that some people feel this way. But this seems like a classic case of punishing the victim because it's the simplest solution. If someone is feeling so alienated for such a foolish reason, then they either require more education or have deeper roots to their prejudice.

 

[Superjub]

That's a bit of a slippery slope, we're not on tumblr and I've not seen anyone do that in this thread. Never actually seen it anywhere else either, but oh well. Is this a reason to dismiss everyone that uses a particular label?

Of course. :) But the thing is it does happen. And of course not! I think I said several times that as long as they don't turn labels into anything malicious against a group/groups of people it's all good. I don't hate (or even dislike) people using some of the more newer/unusual labels. I do think we're getting to a point where we're being too over-descriptive though in terms of labels though (regarding sexuality.) But that's just my opinion and at the end of the day I don't really mind tbh. :)

 

[Aisu]

What is all this sexual controversy? This discussion on labels is too complex for me, ahh.

If I had to describe my sexuality, I guess I'd be asexual. This is half out of my still-lingering sexual obliviousness (holy crap) and half being I'm not interested in what I do know.

 

[Swolligator]

I'm pretty Bisexual, like 50/50 bi. Done the dirty deed with both guys and girls and, to be honest, neither one is better than the other. Both have their pros and cons so in reality all it comes down to is whether I find them personally attractive or not (irrelevant of the gender of course).

 

[☆Rei☆]

What is your sexuality?

I am asexual.

Are you certain of it or do you still question yourself?

I don't question it nor am I certain of it, but simply put I've never had a sexual attraction to anyone or anything before.

Does your family know?

They don't believe me, but I don't care honestly.

 

[Astinus]

I'm asexual, and I've had a feeling that I am since I was a little kid. It wasn't until I was seventeen-years-old and stumbled on the label online that I felt so relieved that there's a term for people like me. I wasn't broken because I had no interest in sex. I'm asexual, and that's okay.

My family knows. I told my parents one time at dinner, and they were both great about it. They're fine with me not wanting to be in a relationship with anyone ever and they aren't upset over the lack of grandchildren. In fact, they must have known I was going to grow up this way, since I remember them making guesses about my future when I was a little kid, and none of those guesses involved the standard "get married, have kids, white picket fence" dream. They knew I was going to be a lonely hermit.

 

[Pepperton]

I'm straight. Have questioned it before, but at this point in my life, there's nothing more to question, haha. I can definitely admire another guy's body, and I can tell when a guy is good-looking, but I'm never attracted to them. Girls, on the other hand, I know I'm attracted to. One of my closest friends came out this year, and we are still close friends, if not closer. Sexuality doesn't change anything in that respect.

 

[Polar Spectrum]

I'm asexual, and I've had a feeling that I am since I was a little kid. It wasn't until I was seventeen-years-old and stumbled on the label online that I felt so relieved that there's a term for people like me. I wasn't broken because I had no interest in sex. I'm asexual, and that's okay.

My family knows. I told my parents one time at dinner, and they were both great about it. They're fine with me not wanting to be in a relationship with anyone ever and they aren't upset over the lack of grandchildren. In fact, they must have known I was going to grow up this way, since I remember them making guesses about my future when I was a little kid, and none of those guesses involved the standard "get married, have kids, white picket fence" dream. They knew I was going to be a lonely hermit.

Aw. This kinda makes me want to hug you.

notcreeping


But I feel it bears relevance to this thread in its entirety, to (possibly unnecessarily) point out that, being as we are on the internet, on a pokemon forum - I believe raw statistics point to a higher concentration of all groups outside heterosexuals being prone to discussions about this topic here. :P Not due to stereotypes, but rather by correlation of 'deviances'.

Woo for internet culture.

 

[Venitardus]

Im straight. ive known since i was about 7 or 8, since ive always been attracted to girls.

 

[Shining Raichu]

I honestly don't care, I'll happily begrudge people their labels lol. If it were just a couple of people that were like "oh I'm extraromantic awesomesexual" then I'd think "oh that's interesting tell me more" but now it's almost everybody and I don't believe that 4 out of 5 people actually have these super special sexualities. I just don't buy it lol.

I'm not denying any of them exist, just not in the great commonality provided by the fashion of the moment.

 

[Grand Wizard Ryan]

That's a bit of a slippery slope, we're not on tumblr and I've not seen anyone do that in this thread. Never actually seen it anywhere else either, but oh well. Is this a reason to dismiss everyone that uses a particular label?

I've just realised that we can quote your post with the original post that you've quoted for the sake of your post. I am very, very sad at the moment.

Anyway, onto the point of my post. I'm willing to back up Superjub here with the Tumblr thing. As a pretty active user of Tumblr, there do seem to be some people who attach labels to themselves to seem unique and part of a minority. It's rather that, or it's a site in which everybody but straight people meet up (maybe they scared everybody off with their abuse towards heterosexuals). But I don't think (s)he's dismissing people who use a particular label. I think (s)he's just making a point concerning Tumblr, one that I avoided earlier to prevent any further conflict that I appeared to be creating. I know this is a topic that you seem to be very... erm... sensitive(?) about, but there's no need to challenge every little detail in people's posts. They have their opinions and you have yours, just leave it at that (unless if they're being outright offensive, then feel free to just absolutely crush them).

Anyway, whilst we're on the topic of sexuality, do you think it's biological or psychological?

I think it's a combination of both. If we apply the diathesis stress theory here (the theory that we have a gene for something and the environment triggers that gene) then it does explain why a lot of people have been coming out more nowadays. Sure, there will have been homosexuals before, but recently it's been a lot more acceptable to be homosexual, and so there's less stress on people concerning it, so an experience with a person or whatever may activate the gene. Additionally, we may all have the homosexual gene and an experience may trigger it, or partly trigger it if we're talking bisexuality. There may also be a gene for asexuality.