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An Alchemist's Tale (FMA)

Inome

I am me. No one else.
226
Posts
18
Years
  • This is based on Full Metal Alchemist, a popular TV series. The Full Metal himself will not be in this; however, he will be mentioned. This stars my new character, who will be introduced in a moment. A few people from the series may appear, but you'll have to read to know who, won't you? Anyway, I'd appreciate some constructive critism if possible. Oh, and by the way...FLAMES WILL BE IGNORED!

    An Alchemist's Tale

    Chapter 1: The Test

    "Raven Clowes? You are next." a huge man with a spring of blonde hair ushered Raven into the Military Building. She was there to take the test; to see if she could become a state alchemist. The man stopped at a door, and spoke once more.
    "Enter." Raven glanced at him hesitantly, unsure of whether or not to grasp the handle with her ever-so-sweaty hands. The man blinked at her and walked away.
    She cracked her knuckles and stretched a bit, wondering what she was going to have to do. Would she have to fight? Or show them some more alchemy? She took a deep breathe, braced herself for the unknown, and stepped inside.
    A single light hanging from the ceiling was the only light in the entire room, and it shone on a...a three legged chair? What the... She could make out the faint outline of a few people in the backround, but did not dare speak. She just stood there, wondering what to do next.
    "Take a seat." a sharp voice said. This made her jump, but she slowly made her way toward the chair. When she reached it, she looked it over carefully.
    "What's wrong? Is there something wrong with the chair?" the sharp voice said. This time she did not jump.
    "Y-Yes." she croaked. After clearing her throat, she said, "It's got only three legs." Silence.
    "Is that a problem?" the voice finally said. Raven, still looking at the chair, jumped again.
    "Ye....No."
    "Good. Sit." Raven sat in the chair instantly. To her surprise, it did not fall. It stood balancing just as it had a moment before, not budging even the slightest amount.
    "Now, what is your name?" Raven gulped.
    "R-R-Raven Clowes." One of the faint figures nodded.
    "And your hometown?"
    "I...I don't know, Ma'm." The same figure cocked her head.
    "How did you know I was a woman?" Raven gulped again.
    "You are the leader of the military, Candence Virgo. I've... done some research." One of the figures clapped once, but stopped when the woman's head turned toward it.
    "Yes, that's right. How old are you?"
    "20."
    "And why do you want to be a State Alchemist?"
    "I want to become the greatest of the great. Better....better than The Full Metal Alchemist, Edward Elric." Virgo nodded.
    "I see. We'll contact you soon, if you manage. Until then, you will be staying with Colonel Armstrong. He'll be waiting for you outside. Go."
    Raven stood up, and quickly walked out of the huge room. The same huge man with the curl of gold hair was standing there.
    "I am Colonel Armstrong, and you'll be spending your time with me for the next 3 days." he tore his shirt of and flexed his huge muscles. Miraculously, he began to sparkle.
    "Great..." Raven muttered. The man lead her out of the building, and they went to a military building to spend the night.

    I'm not sure if they spend time with an Alchemist, but that's how it is now. It's ten years later. Reply if you likey!
     

    Greed

    Banned
    2,943
    Posts
    20
    Years
    • Seen Jul 7, 2008
    Hmm.. Quite intriguing.

    I am not reeled in by fanfics at all, but surprisingly you found out the way to actually make me sit down and read this.

    Short, and straight to the point. I like it. Glad to see an FMA fanfic around here. <3
     

    Inome

    I am me. No one else.
    226
    Posts
    18
    Years
  • I'm not sure if you can double psot in your fanfiction threads, but this is a new chapter, so.....

    Chapter 2:The Results


    "...and as you can see, I come from a family of strong men. That's how I camme to have my name, Armstrong. I have a very intriuging history, you know." Raven, who wasn't even listening, nodded as she sat down in a nicely cushioned arm chair. As the gargantuan man continued the tale of his history, Raven began to think about her own tale.
    'I wonder what my name willl be.....I guess it depends on my strengths, right? Ed Elric was the Full Metal because of his auto-mail arm and leg, and I can't forget about the Flame Alchemist.....and that other guy, I forget his name....' and as she had the name on the tip of her tounge, a knock came at the door. Armstrong fell silent, and pulled his shirt on. Still sparkling, he answered the door.
    "Col. Armstrong, I am here to see Raven Clowes, who was tested earlier this week." a young man said. He had brown hair, and had a high-pitched voice. It reminded her of someone, but again she didn't know who. Armstrong nodded, and allowed the man entrance.
    "Raven Clowes, you have taken the exam to become a State Alchemist, and you got a 259 out of 300. Despite the fact you missed over 40 questions, the General chose to pass you. You showed, "remarkable skill" at the physical part of the exam, and the Gen. also chose to pass you there. You made a stream of fresh water into a mine filled with gold and other resourceful minerals. King Bradley hereby bestowes upon you this name." the man handed her an envelope, and Raven took it. She opened it carefully, and read the paragraph out loud:
    "In the name of all Alchemy, and that of King Bradley himself, his royal highness bestowes upon you this name, which should be used in that of goodness, and shall ensure your career as a State Alchemist, and shall you ever use this name for sin or other, it shall be revoked. My name is....."
    "Yes, Raven?" Armstrong encouraged her.
    "The Shadow Artisan Alchemist."
     
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