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Ash's Tears [PG-13]

Enperuto

Lurking Connoisseur
72
Posts
17
Years
  • This is an interesting one-shot.

    I have to say, this was partially inspired by Deathspector's Don't Cry, Misty. I'm not sure if it's here, but I know it's at Pokemon Elite 2000 forums, and it has a similar storyline.

    However, this involves a few darker things - murder, alcohol. It might be more than PG-13, in which case, I'm sorry.

    +Ash's Tears+
    An eye for an eye
    A tooth for a tooth

    Small beads hit the floor…

    Drop…

    Drop…

    Shattered.

    Much like my heart.

    I walk to the kitchen. Grab a tissue. Try to dam them up. They keep coming.

    Like a cancer, he returns. Gary stumbles in, alcohol on his breath. Like me… strung out: struggling to get over it.

    No, I have to remind myself. Unlike me. He never knew her so well… never whiled away the hours entranced by her long orange-red locks. Never kissed for hours, so that time stood still, and then gone further…

    And it was not my fault.

    Gary could not say the same of himself. Regardless of the fact that the Global Police had said it was a wild one, I believe, I know, that his Alakazam was the one.

    The blood was on his hands.

    "You." My voice sounds broken. Torn apart.

    That was the alcohol, and the miles of tears I had shed since December the first.

    "Ash…" Gary began.

    I give him no opportunity. "Get away from me!" I shout. Tearing around the kitchen table, I charge towards him like an enraged Tauros.

    He pulls back, shaking his head. "It's not my fault, Ash. I didn't do it! Listen to me!"

    "NO! YOU LISTEN TO ME!" I shouted back, roaring so loud that I couldn't speak. Minutes later, I was able to continue in a quiet rasp. "If it isn't your fault, then why are you the only one that had reason to kill her? And the only one that has an Alakazam!"

    An eye for an eye.
    A tooth for a tooth.


    "The Alakazam wasn't mine!" Gary closes his eyes. His tears hit the floor.

    Drop…

    Drop…

    Shattered.

    Like the love I had. Now, she's gone. She's never coming back. Misty…

    I turn back to the kitchen, going to the top right drawer – the one next to the fridge. I slide it open. My hands slide onto the object, bringing it up. I turn and face him. As I do, I catch a look at the digital calendar. Friday. Five days since. The day the engagement would have been official.

    No more…

    I looked at Gary, forefinger willing to pull the trigger. My eyes cut through him like a knife. Like a bullet.

    "You're going to shoot me? Aren't you, Ashy boy?" He slurs. "In cold blood?"
    I nod.

    "Well then, what are you waiting for?"

    I nod again. And then realize I'm shaking all over.

    No doubts. No regrets.

    I pull the trigger. And before the shot sounds, he falls. Blood rolls down his face and hits the floor.

    Shattered.

    Seconds later, the cold realization hits. My conscience returns.

    An eye for an eye.
    A tooth for a tooth.


    I raise the pistol again.

    I pull the trigger.

    They say you never hear the bullet that kills you.

    They say right.
     
    Last edited:
    622
    Posts
    16
    Years
  • Erm ok....

    Its very well written but I just cannot see it alongside Pokemon. Its kind of disturbing, something which Pokemon is certainly not.
     

    Enperuto

    Lurking Connoisseur
    72
    Posts
    17
    Years
  • Erm ok....

    Its very well written but I just cannot see it alongside Pokemon. Its kind of disturbing, something which Pokemon is certainly not.

    Yeah. That's sort of what I figured people would say. But imagine things more morbid than this. There are some out there. (Midian: City of the Damned and Aeon come to mind.)

    Anyway, thanks for reading it, at the least.
     

    diamondpearl876

    you can breathe now. x
    1,584
    Posts
    16
    Years
    • Age 31
    • Seen Jan 25, 2022
    Erm ok....

    Its very well written but I just cannot see it alongside Pokemon. Its kind of disturbing, something which Pokemon is certainly not.

    if it has the canon characters in it, or anything mentioning pokemon, then it can be considered a pokemon fanfiction. it doesn't matter what rating it is or anything.

    Anyway, I liked it. It wasn't a happy ending fic, which is nice for a change. :)
     
    622
    Posts
    16
    Years
  • if it has the canon characters in it, or anything mentioning pokemon, then it can be considered a pokemon fanfiction. it doesn't matter what rating it is or anything.

    Anyway, I liked it. It wasn't a happy ending fic, which is nice for a change. :)

    Well yes obviously it is Pokemon I never said it wasn't, but what I'm saying is you wouldn't usually associate the content in this fanfic to the usual nature of Pokemon. Its very well written and I can't fault it but its not something I myself 'enjoyed' reading. Just a simple observation thats all. :)
     

    diamondpearl876

    you can breathe now. x
    1,584
    Posts
    16
    Years
    • Age 31
    • Seen Jan 25, 2022
    I wasn't attacking your observation or anything. =P Yes I agree it's not very pokemon-like, but if it wasn't directed towards kids so much, im sure you'd find more fics like this.
     
    10,179
    Posts
    18
    Years
    • Age 37
    • Seen May 19, 2024
    But the world isn't a happy place. It would get boring if no one thought that the Pokemon world would be a dark place, full of murder, deceit, and lies. It's actually interesting, and this might connect more with some readers whose lives haven't been full of complete happiness.

    Besides, even in canon!Pokemon, there have been wars and guns. So even then, the Pokemon world isn't a happy place.

    -

    Ranger O'Brien, your proof-reading skills are better with short stories. I couldn't spot a single mistake.

    It's interesting to think about why Gary killed Misty so close to her wedding day with Ash. There are a few possibilities. Besides, I just love "blood on the hands" stories.

    I haven't read Deathspector's fic, but maybe I will. Just to see the parallels between it and your own fic.
     
    622
    Posts
    16
    Years
  • No worries diamondpearl =D. I can say that at times I'd like to see a darker side to the show, I'm not sure myself exactly what I would want to see, but something a bit darker. An older version of the programme perhaps? Pokemon being known as a kids show is one of the reasons why its popularity has decreased I think. If more darker storylines or more shocking things happened, it could well attract an older audience.
     

    diamondpearl876

    you can breathe now. x
    1,584
    Posts
    16
    Years
    • Age 31
    • Seen Jan 25, 2022
    No worries diamondpearl =D. I can say that at times I'd like to see a darker side to the show, I'm not sure myself exactly what I would want to see, but something a bit darker. An older version of the programme perhaps? Pokemon being known as a kids show is one of the reasons why its popularity has decreased I think. If more darker storylines or more shocking things happened, it could well attract an older audience.

    Yes, and I agree. My one-shots aren't that happy either (sig). Anyway, we're going off topic I guess... you can PM me if you want.
     

    Enperuto

    Lurking Connoisseur
    72
    Posts
    17
    Years
  • But the world isn't a happy place. It would get boring if no one thought that the Pokemon world would be a dark place, full of murder, deceit, and lies. It's actually interesting, and this might connect more with some readers whose lives haven't been full of complete happiness.

    Besides, even in canon!Pokemon, there have been wars and guns. So even then, the Pokemon world isn't a happy place.

    -

    Ranger O'Brien, your proof-reading skills are better with short stories. I couldn't spot a single mistake.

    It's interesting to think about why Gary killed Misty so close to her wedding day with Ash. There are a few possibilities. Besides, I just love "blood on the hands" stories.

    I haven't read Deathspector's fic, but maybe I will. Just to see the parallels between it and your own fic.

    Thanks. Yeah, it's a lot easier to proof-read a one-shot.

    And actually, Ash was going to ask for her hand in marriage or whatever on that Friday. So that is one thing I can clear up... *Goes to edit*

    And DS's Don't Cry, Misty is excellent. I'm not sure if it's here, but it's at PE2K at least...

    if it has the canon characters in it, or anything mentioning pokemon, then it can be considered a pokemon fanfiction. it doesn't matter what rating it is or anything.

    Anyway, I liked it. It wasn't a happy ending fic, which is nice for a change. :)

    Thanks. Yeah... happy endings can be good, but sometimes you need a change. Of course, there can be the exact problem in reverse, when most of the fics are emo and goth and dark and there are no happy endings. Ah, but what is that but the circle of fan fics?

    Sometimes the world will slap you in the face and this fan-fic does that

    Thanks for reading, and I'm glad you like it.
     

    chomp

    Mors Ontologica
    75
    Posts
    16
    Years
  • A) Beat her to death with it's spoons
    B) Psychic her into a tree/rock at high speed
    C) Use it's dexterous humanoid hands to hold her head underwater
    D) Blown her up with any number of powerful moves


    I read this, and then I went and read Don'r cry Misty. They were both brilliant, but for some reason I liked this one more; maybe because it was darker, and I get occasional cravings for morbidity, maybe the layout

    I had mixed emotions at the end, I was happy to have read such a good oneshot, but I was sad that Misty and Ash were dead (I don't like Gary)
     

    Roxy

    What goes here? o__0
    53
    Posts
    16
    Years
  • Man that was kind of...morbid. And depressing. Cool. =) The ending is pretty cool as well. I like this. ^^ It makes me somewhat happy, yet sad at the saeme time. xD And, OMG GARY WAS DRUNK!(shot for going off topic)

    I can seriously imagina this in my mind though, especially the sadness of it all. Cx
     
    Last edited:

    Enperuto

    Lurking Connoisseur
    72
    Posts
    17
    Years
  • Wow, PokeCommunity has more reviews than Serebii and PE2K combined. Congrats!

    I liked it, it was a change of pace... Well Done, I would've wanted to know how an Alagazam killed her though
    Thanks for reading... and as for how she died... well it was immaterial, as they didn't really know anyway, so it would be hard to find out. And if Ash did know, he probably would have forgotten it after being in a daze for five days.

    A) Beat her to death with it's spoons
    B) Psychic her into a tree/rock at high speed
    C) Use it's dexterous humanoid hands to hold her head underwater
    D) Blown her up with any number of powerful moves


    I read this, and then I went and read Don'r cry Misty. They were both brilliant, but for some reason I liked this one more; maybe because it was darker, and I get occasional cravings for morbidity, maybe the layout

    I had mixed emotions at the end, I was happy to have read such a good oneshot, but I was sad that Misty and Ash were dead (I don't like Gary)

    Thanks. Remember that isn't there a vertebrate on the spinal chord that if it's broken, you die? (or was that just made up by Paoloni for Eragon?). Thanks for reading.

    Man that was kind of...morbid. And depressing. Cool. =) The ending is pretty cool as well. I like this. ^^ It makes me somewhat happy, yet sad at the saeme time. xD And, OMG GARY WAS DRUNK!(shot for going off topic)

    I can seriously imagina this in my mind though, especially the sadness of it all. Cx

    Thanks. I was actually afraid there wouldn't be enough description, because when I previewed it there was like one paragraph that was more than one line. (But of course I have a widescreen at the highest resolution possible.) Anyways, thanks for reading. And yes, Gary and Ash, and probably most of Pallet Town were drunk.
     

    Espegirl

    Run Fireheart, Run!
    18
    Posts
    16
    Years
  • xD You think about the stupid, Child-like Ash and then this comes and you're like, What the--? It's OK, but I never was much on an alcohol fan. 'Twas pretty good. :)
     

    Kyber-Groudon

    After all, I'm only human.....
    50
    Posts
    16
    Years
    • Seen Jan 29, 2008
    Well.... A little grim..... definitely not something my borthers should see.... But i'm impressed. I always liked these type of stories.... the kind that keep my brothers up all night...... 9/10 from this Boy.
     
    46
    Posts
    16
    Years
    • Seen May 3, 2008
    Does anyone realize how how this will end the entire pokemon mecha?As Shoots himself!I ca never see him doing that,well,any ways,how does mistys death involve an alakazam?(and ash is right,drunk gary probably stole his daddy oakys alakazam)
     

    Roxy

    What goes here? o__0
    53
    Posts
    16
    Years
  • Does anyone realize how how this will end the entire pokemon mecha?As Shoots himself!I ca never see him doing that,well,any ways,how does mistys death involve an alakazam?(and ash is right,drunk gary probably stole his daddy oakys alakazam)

    1.I thought Professor Oak was Gary`s granddaddy.

    2. That`s a respectable theory. Ash returns home, Misty dies is murdered, Ash shoots Gary, then he shoots himself.
    .
    .
    (Note to self: If an episode like that were to air, watch it. (SHOT))

    3.I`m still wondering why almost all of Pallet Town is drunk. xD Was there some kind of celebration?
     
    Last edited:

    Momoiro

    ..:: Glaring One Way ::..
    51
    Posts
    17
    Years
  • T_T Wow.
    I loved it! XD
    I'm all for Morbid-like fanfictions,(Guilty of writing a few. ~_^ ) Well Okay, Lots XD ) and its a nice change from the happy-like theme Pokemon has goin' on. If you have any other writing works, fanfiction or not, I'd love to read them.
     
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