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Birthday Wish (Twinleafshipping, Penguinshipping, and some other shippings. Oneshot)

Event_collectorx

Omnitrix hero deoxys
58
Posts
15
Years
  • Birthday Wish Oneshot

    Damion woke up and rubbed the sleep from his eyes. "What day is it today?" He said with a yawn. He glanced over to his calendar. A big red circle was marked on today's date. Some words were scribbled inside the circle. "Dawn's Birthday! I forgot to get her a present! I better get going so I can get her something."

    Damion threw on his usual orange and white striped shirt, some dark jeans, brown shoes, and his signature green scarf. He grabbed his bag and money, and then he left his house. "Byemomgottagoseeya!" He spoke so fast that his words slurred together.
    He walked through the grass and watched the Bidoof play. The Starly chirped a happy tune and flew over his head. Some Shinx ran up to him wanting a fight. "Not today okay guys?" He said. The shinx looked sadly away and ran off.

    It took him 15 minutes to get to Sandgem town. He walked to a house close to the edge of town and knocked on the door.

    "Wake up Lucas!" Damion took a small rock and threw it at a window. Thudding could be heard from inside the house. He probably just woke up, and tripped down the stairs like always. Damion thought.

    "What do you need this early in the morning?" Lucas asked with a yawn. His hair was still a mess, and he wore a blue pajama shirt and a blue pajama pair of pants.

    "What did you get Dawn for her Birthday?" The blonde asked.

    "I can't tell you; otherwise you might try and copy what I got. I'm guessing you forgot to get her something?" Lucas asked with a smile.

    "Yeah, what do suggest I get her? I'm really bad at getting cool gifts for people. " Damion asked. His index fingers pressed against each other in embarrassment.

    "Go to Jubilife, they have a lot of malls with stuff Dawn likes, trust me. I've had to carry her bags….." Lucas shuddered at the thought.

    "Thanks. She's having a party at the beach south of here right?" Damion asked.

    "Yeah, at 1:00. It's 7:30 now, so you have a couple of hours to look for something cool. Good luck," Lucas said.

    "Bye," the energetic boy ran off.

    "See ya later," Lucas waved and then closed the door.

    Damion ran as fast as he could to get to Jubilife. It wasn't very far from Sandgem town, so he got there in ten minutes. "To the mall it is," He said.

    Once he was inside the mall, he walked around looking in the windows of the shops. Jewelry is good. Let's see. Way too expensive! He walked away from the Jewelry window.

    I doubt she likes football. I also doubt she needs any sports stuff. Damion walked away from the sporting goods store.

    Aw…those are some cute baby pokemon. But what if some one else is getting her a baby pokemon? I don't want to give her a duplicate present.
    Oh well…..He left the breeder's shop.

    Candy? It won't be something she'll remember forever. It would taste good for the moment though. Nah…..Damion walked out of the fudge shop.
    I could get her a green scarf to match mine! Nah, that's not good enough! He walked to a bench, sat down, and put his hands on his head with frustration. I've been in five stores already and still nothing! I guess I have to keep looking.

    The blonde walked around the mall for another hour, and still didn't find anything. Damion left the mall and went to a different one.

    A bag? She has one already. A contest dress! But what if she doesn't need one. A gum ball! What was I thinking? He walked around the mall until he reached the last store. Odds and ends huh? I wonder what's in here.

    He walked in and an old man sat behind a counter. The room was full of trinkets and junk.

    "Hello, there. What can I help you with?" The old man said.

    "I want to get a really good gift for this girl and-"

    "Do you love her?" The man asked.

    "Huh?" Damion's face turned red.

    "Do you love her?" The man asked again seriously.

    "I….I....." Damion stuttered.

    "Just tell me. It's okay. I need to know, so I can help you find her a good gift. If you truly love her, than what ever you get her, I'm sure she'll like it. A true gift comes from the heart." The man smiled.

    "I don't know….." Damion said.

    "Trust me, I think you'll find what you need on your own. I don't think I'll be any help." The man said.

    "I don't understand! I don't see anything in here that I can give her!" Damion said.

    "Love can be a gift itself." The man said.

    "I'm outta here." Damion walked out shaking his head. Great! The party is going to start soon and I still don't have a gift! Gah…..Let's just get this over with.

    Damion ran out of the mall. He sprinted from Jubilife to Sandgem town. He knocked on Lucas' door.

    "What is it this time? Lucas asked opening the door. He was wearing his orange beret, swim trunks, and a white T-shirt.

    "I couldn't get her a gift. I actually couldn't find one. Can you just tell me what you got her?" Damion asked.

    "A bracelet. It matches mine." Lucas smiled.

    "Uh….Okay, I'm going to the party early." Damion said.

    "I'll meet you there." Lucas said.

    "Bye!" The blonde rushed off.

    "That guy never rests," Lucas shook his head and closed the door.

    Damion got to the beach with in minutes. No one was there, but he stayed any way. The sun was shining brightly and the water sparkling. The sand was warm, and the water was cool. Wingull flew above his head screeching at some Pelliper.

    He lay down in the shade and fell asleep.

    =========================

    "Hey sleepy head, wake up," A sweet voice said. Damion felt some one shaking him.

    "Hey Dawn, I got here a little early, so I took a nap." Damion said.

    "Let's go to the party." She pulled him off the ground and they walked to where her mom was barbecuing.

    Several other trainers were there. Most of them were her cousins, and some of them were her friends.
    People were paired into groups talking. The girls were all in one part of the beach, and the boys were on the other.

    "What do you think they're talking about?" Lucas asked.

    "Probably about clothes, contests, and make up. I eaves drop on my sister a lot, so I would know." A boy with a blue hat, tan shorts and a T-shirt said.

    "Contests aren't girly, I can tell you that." A boy with messy brown hair said.

    "Sure they aren't Kenny, sure…." Another boy said.

    "I've been in a contest a couple of times. They are actually kinda fun," A boy with a vest, a red hat with a weird symbol, and a Pikachu on his shoulder said.

    "I'll be brave enough to talk to them," Damion said.

    "I wanna watch you fail!" A green haired boy said. He wore a purple vest.

    "Drew, Kenny, Ash, Lucas, and any one else who's watching, I'll show you all." Damion walked confidently over to Dawn's group. There were some whispers and giggles.

    "Hey….Um…The guys want to know….What are you guys talking about?" Damion asked.

    "You of course," Dawn laughed. The other girls did too.

    "Uh…..what about me?" The blonde was confused.

    "We can't say. Hey, Dawn, shouldn't you be talking with Damion?" A girl said. Dawn's face turned red and she gave the girl a little shove.

    "Shut up…." Dawn said.

    "What is it you wanted to talk to me about?" Damion asked.

    "Time for cake!" Dawn's mom brought a large cake to the picnic table.

    "Make a wish Dawn," A girl said. Dawn blew out her candles.

    "What'd you wish for?" Damion asked.

    "It's a secret. If I told you, it wouldn't come true." Dawn said.

    "Oh…." The blonde said. The radio was blaring and some people were dancing. Some people were talking, and others were surfing. Dawn broke away from her small group.

    The blue haired girl walked up to Damion.

    "I want to talk to you in private," She said. The two walked into an area away from all the people. They were hidden by branches.

    "So what did you get me for my birthday?" She asked quietly.

    "It's a secret," He smiled.

    "You didn't get me anything did you?" She asked.

    "No…sorry…I couldn't find the perfect gift" He said.

    "Well I guess Birthdays are about being with friends, family, and the people that you love," Dawn said.

    There's that word again. Love.

    "Love can be a gift itself." Damion said. Their faces got closer and closer until their lips met. The world seemed to spin, and her lips became his candy. Her lips were soft and seemed to massage his lips. She pulled away for air.

    "I guess I did get a good gift from you. And my wish came true." Dawn said.

    "What was your wish?" Damion asked curiously.

    "Well I can tell you now since it came true. I wished that a boy that liked me had enough courage to finally tell me how they really felt. Luckily, it was you. Even though you didn't say anything in words, I still heard you." She smiled.

    A boy with messy brown hair walked into the wooded area.

    "Hey Dawn, hey Damion. Dawn, Can I talk to you alone? Also, they all miss you out there." Kenny said.

    "I'll go back out there and leave you two alone." Damion said. He walked away, but before completely leaving he said, "Don't lay a finger on her, she's mine."

    "What's that all about?" Kenny asked. Dawn just blushed and shrugged. "Well, I wanted to ask you something."

    "Okay, what is it?" she asked.

    "Are you seeing any one?" Kenny asked.

    "That's none of your business." Dawn said. I'm not dating Damion, but I don't want to say I'm taken. Grrr…..

    "Dawn, I think you're really pretty. I like it when I see you in a dress at contests. And I've had a crush on you for a while. Please return the feelings." He held her hand. His other hand brought her face to his. She pushed him away and wiped her mouth.

    "I'm sorry, but I can't return the feelings because I love some one else." She said.

    "Who? Tell me! Please!" Kenny sat up. Dawn walked away from him and went back to where the party was.

    "So who made their move first? Was it Damion?" A girl with a green bandanna asked.

    "Don't be silly May, I'm sure Kenny was the first!" A girl with orange hair said.

    "Sorry Misty, but if you bet on Kenny then you just lost money. It was Damion. And I think I love him more than I do Kenny." Dawn said.

    The radio blurted: "Alright, this song is for couples only. Grab your special some one and dance!" and heaven started to play.
    Lucas walked up to Dawn. "May I have this dance?"

    "BONK!" Damion hit Lucas over the head and pushed him aside. "I think I should be the one to dance with Dawn." He smiled.

    "I should be the one dancing with Dawn!" Kenny argued. He tried to punch Damion, but Damion caught the punch and threw him to the side.

    "I'd love to dance with you Damion." They danced to the song.

    "Ow my head!" Lucas said while rubbing the back of his head. That guy always gets what he wants. Maybe its because he's fast. Oh well…..Wait for me Dawn…..

    This isn't fair! Just because Damion was quicker than me doesn't mean she HAS to dance with him! Kenny crossed his arms.

    The people that paired up were: Ash and Misty, Drew and May, and a couple others. Lucas, Brendan, Kenny and some other people were the only ones that weren't dancing.

    "Thanks Damion. Thanks for giving me the best present ever." She kissed him on the cheek.

    "I didn't give you the whole present yet!" He said.

    "What?" She asked. He pulled her face towards his and felt her lips glide around his own lips. The world started spinning again. This time, his tongue entered her mouth. She let their tongues wrestle for a little bit, and then she pulled away. "Why did you have to do that in front of every one?" She whispered while blushing.

    "I wanted to let Kenny and Lucas know to keep their paws off!" He said with a smile. Kenny and Lucas just looked away angrily pretending that nothing had happened.

    She hugged him and made the best moment of her day last. I love you Damion. You don't know how much I really do. She smiled at her thought, and they waited for the sun to set, together.
    ---------------------
    Authors note: Yeah I know the party was at 1:00 and the sun doesn't set until what ever time, but just bear with me okay? Sorry about the blobishness, Microsoft word makes it a whole huge blob, so I'm editing it as we speak.
     

    Blue Angel

    Living for now
    298
    Posts
    15
    Years
    • Seen Apr 7, 2016
    Actually I really liked it. The way you represented the "action" of love was pretty well done, besides one thing I would like to point out that might help build tension and suspense. Just adding that little bit helps.

    This is a constant problem I see. You add words people might write in an essay, but instead you use them for dialog or thoughts.

    There was also some confusion with who is who. Just describing what someone can work at telling who a person is, but not everyone knows who each person is, so giving them names, then describing would work better - just try that in the future - you don't have to edit anything unless you see fit.

    I doubt she likes football. I also doubt she needs any sports stuff.
    I doubt anyone would say "also" to themselves. :P

    This is like a list; he is going over item after item saying "I doubt she would like that" into infinity. "Also" isn't something you say to yourself. Put yourself in Damion's shoes.


    "Love can be a gift itself." Damion said. (Insert Here)Their faces got closer and closer until their lips met. The world seemed to spin, and her lips became his candy. Her lips were soft and seemed to massage his lips. She pulled away for air.

    Where I put the bold spot, is where you should build "romantic suspense" by drawing out the moment. Maybe describe Dawn's eyes searching for a showing expression on Damion's face. Or have Damion kind of describe things he notices as he gets closer.

    At least something about Dawn's reaction to this. Maybe shock, a smile, a jaw drop, anything that shows some emotion on her part.

    I really liked it. Your romantic style seems bold and short, with a typical way of putting things. There was some parts that seemed to overdone - as in done too much by other authors, but the description of the way he grabbed her closer with the second scene was just what I was hoping for.

    Overall - very good, enjoyable, couple mistakes, but still good nonetheless
     
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