Children. yes or no?

[Yukari]

I can answer this question with one word: HELL NO!!! What? I said I Could I never said I Would.

I honestly can't stand children between the ages of 1-8. I just find them annoying. And mom says that's the best part. Another reason is the fact that children suck away you money and resources.

But IF, during a momentary lapse in judgement, I do decide to have children; I would prefer to have a girl.

 

[Raine]

However, getting children and marrying would mean to accept that you'd never really be alone again. And to me, alone time is precious. Not sure how I'd cope with that.

You can still make room for your alone time :) Just sent your husband off with the kids for a while XD I mean, it's probably nothing compared to the amount of alone time you get when you're not married and single, but I think once you have children, anything is better than nothing.

Another reason is the fact that children suck away you money and resources.

But IF, during a momentary lapse in judgement, I do decide to have children; I would prefer to have a girl.

...That sounds slightly selfish, don't you think? D: But then again, some people can't imagine themselves having to take care of another human being other than themselves. But if you were to have children and in relation to what you said, wouldn't having a boy make more sense? I'm under the assumption that girls are generally more high maintenance and costly than boys XD Could be wrong though, that's just my opinion.

 

[Belldandy]

I was reading an article yesterday about how people feel when you expect them to bear children. It's definitely not selfish to not have kids. The world is overpopulated anyway, so there really isn't a need to procreate as quickly as we currently are on a global scale.

That said, some people not only find it offensive (it's basically asking about your sex life), but some people get upset because they want kids but are infertile or have complications. They may have even had a few miscarriages in the process, and assuming that they're bad people just because they haven't procreated after five years of togetherness can make both parties, especially the female, feel worthless and like failures, no matter how confident they may appear otherwise.

That said, I want two or three kids. I'd prefer having a boy (first born) and then a girl. If that doesn't happen in that order (i.e. getting two boys or two girls), I would try for a third, but that's it.

This is all assuming I can afford two or three kids. I definitely want them :( but it's even worse to hav'em and not be able to afford them. I love kids and want to see people succeed. I know by myself I'd be a great drive and leader for post-education (I'm going to be a teacher), and I'm sure my kids would head in that direction, too. That'd make me feel nice about myself. Also, two kids would at least replace us and not really contribute to the current global problem.

 

[Raine]

I was reading an article yesterday about how people feel when you expect them to bear children. It's definitely not selfish to not have kids. The world is overpopulated anyway, so there really isn't a need to procreate as quickly as we currently are on a global scale.

That said, some people not only find it offensive (it's basically asking about your sex life), but some people get upset because they want kids but are infertile or have complications. They may have even had a few miscarriages in the process, and assuming that they're bad people just because they haven't procreated after five years of togetherness can make both parties, especially the female, feel worthless and like failures, not matter how confident they may appear otherwise.

Wasn't trying to specifically single out a person as being selfish, but simply the way he wrote the message it just sounded like it to me >< Probably caused by the difference of views regarding child bearing as I'm someone who would be happy to have children, also I can relate somewhat to the infertile/complications. I've already lost one ovary 9 years ago in an emergency procedure when I was experiencing severe abdominal pain and it's become a fear of mine to lose the other. Whenever I get cramps or random abdominal pains, I immediately start worrying if it has something to do with the other ovary. As a female, I want to be able to fulfill my role as the child bearer.

 

[Belldandy]

Wasn't trying to specifically single out a person as being selfish, but simply the way he wrote the message it just sounded like it to me >< Probably caused by the difference of views regarding child bearing as I'm someone who would be happy to have children, also I can relate somewhat to the infertile/complications. I've already lost one ovary 9 years ago in an emergency procedure when I was experiencing severe abdominal pain and it's become a fear of mine to lose the other. Whenever I get cramps or random abdominal pains, I immediately start worrying if it has something to do with the other ovary. As a female, I want to be able to fulfill my role as the child bearer.

Oh, don't worry, I wasn't targeting anything in particular; I just found it interesting that I had read an article on it so recently.

That said, I feel the same way. I'm very keen on gender roles, apart wanting to work (and even my work can be considered a "girly" profession: teaching). Some of the things I personally pressure myself to become are very anti-feminist lol child-bearing, child-rearing, keeping house, being emotionally supportive, sexual availability. I definitely don't expect anyone else to follow in the same thought pattern because it's such an "old" way to view roles, but it's what makes me happy as an individual in a relationship.

I wear the pants behind-the-scenes, though. "Behind every great man is a great woman." Teehee.

 

[Yukari]

...That sounds slightly selfish, don't you think? D: But then again, some people can't imagine themselves having to take care of another human being other than themselves. But if you were to have children and in relation to what you said, wouldn't having a boy make more sense? I'm under the assumption that girls are generally more high maintenance and costly than boys XD Could be wrong though, that's just my opinion.

Well I won't lie, one of the things I meant by that phrase is obviously the way you interpreted it. But also meant something else by that phrase. If I'm supporting a family on my income, then I'm going to have to worry about the possibility of going in debt. I don't want to have thoughts like "What if I can't make the next payment on my house or my car?" See what I'm saying here? I know, I still risk debt by living on my own, but if I do live on my own I'm less likely to go into debt.

I know I should have been more careful about the way I worded that. Granted, I doubt anybody though about it that way. As for preferring to have a girl over a boy; I'm not really sure why I would prefer a girl, but I would.

 

[Entermaid]

Having children can be selfish.

Not having children can be selfish.

Selfish isn't necessarily mutually-exclusive to altruism. For instance, "I am selfish, I don't want to waste money/resources on a child. I don't want to bring another child into the world if I am not going to adequately support that child." Or..."I am selfish, I want to bring more children of my own genetic material into the world and use more natural resources and public funding to support my child, and genetics. However, I will also give up my time, money, and energy making sure I give the child a good upbringing."

Both are selfish, or self-motivations, as well as altruistic.

Making sure we eat food is considered selfish; it doesn't mean that it is wrong. We are all, every single one us, selfish, to a degree. The term just carries a negative connotation. Though, I'd also say we are all altruistic, to a degree. No one person, except for perhaps a sociopath, is completely selfish. Most people are reciprocally altruistic creatures.

In deciding to be a parent, we should all think about what we want to an extent. So, I support selfishness :p

 

[Dustmop]

I hate kids. Boyfriend hates kids. I think we're all set.

Even if I didn't hate kids, I still wouldn't have them. I'm just not mentally fit to have them. (Nothing hereditary or anything, just personal... complications.)

And since we've gotten onto the topic of infertility -- I am considering donating my eggs to someone who wants kids but just isn't capable. My mom's side of the family is laden with fertility problems (the kinds of problems where after 17 years of trying, they almost died having one, or they needed IVF) so I don't even know if I'm capable.. But if I am, I'd like to help. (and the several thousand bucks per egg isn't a bad bonus.)
Though I'd rather be able to just remove my ovaries and ship them off to someone who needs them.

 

[Ghost Lunis]

I have one now already:) love that kid! Named him after one of my favorite comic book characters too. I think the wife and I want one more. We have a few names picked out but nothing concrete yet.

 

[Sage Ebock]

I've got one boy (almost 2)
and one girl (due any day now)

Anyone here seen the movie Idiocracy??? Look it up if you haven't

To be honest, it was a pretty big determining factor in the co-creation of my two children >_<