I don't understand how praying works
There are many benefits of prayer:
1. Prayer enables you to set your mind on the things above. Colossians 3:2 says, "Set your mind on the things which are above, not on the things which are on the earth."
How could we fulfill God's word in this verse except by prayer? Prayer is the way to have our mind set on the things above. That's because proper prayer elevates our mind from our earthly concerns to God's heavenly interests.
2. Prayer enables Christ to carry out His heavenly administration. The Lord's instruction in Matthew 6:9-13 is not just a prayer to recite, but a pattern of prayer that carries out God's administration,
"Our Father who is in the heavens, Your name be sanctified; Your kingdom come; Your will be done, as in heaven, so also on earth…" When our minds are set on the things above, as we just mentioned, we're able to respond to God's heavenly interests and express them through our prayer. During such times of prayer, we become a reflection of Christ's ministry in the heavens (Rom. 8:34). What a benefit!
3. Prayer ushers you into the Holy of Holies to receive grace. Another benefit of prayer is to touch the "throne of grace" to find grace for your timely help. Hebrews 4:16 says, "Let us therefore come forward with boldness to the throne of grace that we may receive mercy and find grace for timely help." What is grace? It is more than God's unmerited favor. Grace is "God in Christ as our supply and enjoyment, conveyed to us and realized through the bountiful supply of the Spirit of Jesus Christ (Phil. 1:19)". When we pray, we enter into the Holy of Holies and touch the throne of grace to enjoy the hidden Christ in our spirit. In fact, enjoying the flowing of God's grace in our prayer is more important than having our prayers answered. The primary thing is that grace like a river flows from the throne and into our being.
4. Prayer charges your "spiritual battery" to live the Christian life. The Christian life is like a tool or toy with a battery. Without being regularly charged, our "spiritual battery" will lack the power needed to carry out its intended functions. Our prayer is our connection to the "charging station." When we pray, our "spiritual battery" is charged with the heavenly current. This heavenly current, this divine electricity, is the Triune God Himself as grace flowing from the throne—the "heavenly power plant"—into us. Revelation 22:1 says, "And He showed me a river of water of life, bright as crystal, proceeding out of the throne of God and of the Lamb…" This divine, flowing river proceeding from God's throne supplies the power to charge us whenever we pray.
5. Prayer brings you into fellowship with the Lord. Prayer is the contact of our spirit with God's spirit. John 4:24 says, "God is Spirit and those who worship Him must worship in spirit…"
It's by such God-contacting prayer that we enter into fellowship with the Lord and become conscious of the fact that we are really one spirit with Him and that He is actually one spirit with us (1 Cor. 6:17). This also is a tremendous benefit!
6. Prayer renews you for the new man. Ephesians 4:23-24 says, "And that you be renewed in the spirit of your mind and put on the new man…" This means that whenever we contact the Lord as the Spirit with our spirit through prayer, this spirit spreads into our mind for our renewing. In such a way we are being renewed for the new man. This new man is Christ's Body today and will become the New Jerusalem for eternity (Rev. 21:2). How wonderful that we can be renewed for the new man by our prayer. What a benefit!
7. Prayer lets the peace of Christ arbitrate in your heart. Colossians 3:15 says, "And let the peace of Christ arbitrate in your hearts, to which also you were called in one Body, and be thankful."
This kind of peace isn't just freedom from worry, but the peace between different peoples. How can we, as believers, let the peace of Christ arbitrate in all our relationships with people, especially other believers that are different from us. It's only by our prayer. When we pray, Christ will become the real umpire, ruler, and decider in everything. The main "call" our "Umpire" makes is "you're wrong! Repent. Confess and say you're sorry." Such prayer preserves the peace in our marriage life, family life, Christian life and church life. This arbitrating peace is a great benefit of prayer!
8. Prayer allows the word of Christ to dwell in you richly. Colossians 3:16 says, "Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly in all wisdom…" But how? One of the greatest discoveries of my Christian life was learning how to receive God's word in the Bible by means of prayer, that is, pray-reading it. By pray-reading, you not only gain some mental understanding from the Bible, but you're nourished with life element in God's Word. God's words become "spirit and life" to you (John 6:63).
Obviously everyone knows there's vitriolic and downright evil things done in the name of god both in the past and present
You're right, there has been heinous acts done in the name of God but, then one has to ask did those individuals
really hear from God or were they just trying to put forth their own agendas. In Galatians 5:22-23, Paul lists nine specific behaviors – love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control – that are the result of the work of the Holy Spirit in a Christian's life. These are known as the fruits of the Spirit. If someone's actions deviate from these than the Spirit of God is
not guiding that individual.
So I suppose I cannot truly join this club
The door is always open Jo, all one needs to do is take the step in. I will pray for your salvation and that God ministers to you on a personal level. I will also keep your dear loved one in my prayers and pray for a speedy recovery. God loves you very much Jo <3