Day in the life of Pokemon Fire Red

[Dark Summoner]

I wake up and get out of bed I quickly pull out some clothes and put my cap on I pick up my yellow bag and look at my wall were i have the posters of the three starter pokemon given to starter trainers I quickly walk down and have breakfast, Pidgey eggs and bacon I mop my plate up with a piece of bread and did the dishes I then checked my watch and decided to go out.
I start to head for route 101 to go visit a friend in the next town but instead im shouted at by a old man.
"Hey you over there it's dangerous to go into the grass!" The man shouted I turned round there running towards me was a man with a face that could kill a ponyta he quickly grabbed my hand and dragged me to a big building and started trying to shoved me through the door.
I quickly walked off towards the top of the lab and just as I went to leve and he shouted at me to hurry up so I started running towards him i soon came to a small room with a table with three pokeballs on them and a boy about the same age as me.
"Gramps ive been here for ages hurry up!" The boy rudely says to the old man.
"Oh yeh on this table are three pokemon... there in the balls both of you may choose one" the old man quickly said in a snappy voice 10am and I all
ready felt like im being pushed into something so i ran over to the table and tried to decide whick pokemon to chose.

 

[Dragon Lover]

I woke up and looked around my small room, a tv in the middle of the room with my Playstation attached. I got up and looked at the three posters on the wall, one with a red creature called Charmander, one with a green creature called Bulbasaur and the blue pokemon Squirtle.

I went towards my PC and grabbed a potion from the storage unit and headed downstairs. I said good bye to my mum and she gave me a lot of rubbish about boys haveing to go leave their home some day. I started to think, "Hello! woman im 10 years old, how the hell am I going to surrvive out there, there are stalkers, muggers and rapists out there!"

I started to head towards the north of town where there is some grass, I took one step into it and head someone shouting behind me.

"DONT GO IN THE GRASS ITS DANGEROUS WITH OUT A POKEMON!", said the voice.

Compare with yours, not the best but much better. This chapter is a joke, a 1 minute jop in the reply box I bet. Read the fanfiction rules and FAQ, it'll help you (I hope).

~DL

 

[Dark Summoner]

.... ok.... looks like ill redo this chapter :)

 

[Dragon Lover]

.... ok.... looks like ill redo this chapter :)

The older one was better o.0;; Do it in past time, it makes the reader feel weird the way you've written it, just improve the lenght and detail, Niko would lock this thread for sure if you don't put some serious work into this >.>

~DL

 

[Dark Summoner]

huh what
bloody hell it seems im not cut out for fanfic then so just lock it