Two story updates in one day?! ENTIRELY WITHIN THE REALM OF POSSABILITY!
The Elite Four of the Indigo League proved annoying. After several attempts ending at Bruno I decided to dump my remaining money into Rare Candies from the lobby.
This worked so freaking well. And now Hikari and Taichi are in the
Hall of Fame. Following a well deserved rest Professor Elm called me to his lab informing me of the neighbouring region of Kanto, and how I might be able to find both some more worthy opponents and enrich myself culturally by absorbing another people's cultural artefacts and artwork. He handed me a first class ticket aboard the S.S.Anne, a high speed ship that was going to set sail from Olivine to the Kantonian city of Vermilion.
Little did I know this was a massive mistake and I would come to regret every moment in this next door neighbour of a country.
To begin: Vermilion was a delightful port city, bustling and busy, full of life. Perhaps a little too full of life, as I found the entry way to the gym was covered in foliage, requiring me to landscape so I could reach the door. This should have been a red flag, but I ignored it, assuming the groundkeeping crew had simply been on vacation. Once inside the gym I found it to be lively and just filled with entirely too many garbage cans. The leader, Lt Surge, proceeded to
threaten a ten year old before
losing gracefully to an Indigo Champion.
Next I ventured into Saffron City. If Vermilion was bustling, Saffron was literally teeming with life; city folk as far as the eye could see. Truly Goldenrod was a pale imitation. The gym was an unhinged nightmare, however. Apparently Sabrina had decided that numerous identical rooms with teleportation pads along the floor was the only way to decorate. Only once I had vomited and a kindly grandma learned to fear the god in my pocket did I find Sabrina and some saltine crackers.
She had apparently foreseen my arrival,
three years ago, when I was seven. This
did not stop her from marveling at her loss. A few more nausea inducing teleportation pads and I once again breathed some fresh air. I now found myself heading West to Celedon.
There must be something in the water here in Kanto, as Celedon City is covered in plant life. Vines, moss, flowers, and even plant Digimon are everywhere. I must've accidentally stepped on three Palmon who were just burrowed into the ground before having to once more hack my way to the door of a gym. I swear these gym leaders in Kanto are a different kind of crazy. I know Whitney broke down sobbing after I beat her, but she was also exceedingly passionate during our fight. Emotions got heated. I understood her position. Erika, meanwhile? She must either have nothing to do, or is actively ignoring her duties as a leader in her city as
she admitted to what is either narcolepsy or heavy drug use just before our fight. Luckily she
accepted defeat gracefully, and I'm almost certain the creepy old guy out front was salivating as I left the gym smelling of flowers. It was only later as I was having a snack in the Digicentre that someone informed me of the gym's "Women only" policy, and I questioned limiting gym membership to only half of the population when horticulture is a gender neutral passion.
Heading North into Cerulean City I was astounded to find a normal looking city in this apparent nightmare of a country. I found the gym closed as the leader had taken the day off. Fair enough, they work hard and deserve some time to themselves to recharge their social batteries, I get it. Someone in town had informed me of the nearby electric plant offering tours of their new state of the art generator, and I figured this was worth seeing. I was after all here to see the sights and take in the demon water infested culture. I arrived at the plant to find it shut down as someone had broken in and stolen a key part for its operation. As a ten year old there should've been nothing for me to do, as an Indigo League Champion the forty year old manager looked to me and asked for my help in tracking down the man who had stolen from him and bringing him to justice. The closest safe location for the burglar was obviously Cerulean so I returned, hoping to find some clues. The gym door was oddly open when I passed by it. Investigating I found a foreigner in strangely familiar clothing behaving erratically. Not wanting to profile him as a problem I let him go, though I soon came to realize the poorly fitted outfit he wore had a large red R on the back of them, as he was wearing his Team Rocket shirt backwards. Tracking him to the bridge leading out of the city to the North I beat up his Digimon and he told me where he had hidden the part after I informed him I had dismantled Team Rocket when they interrupted my favourite radio show and asked him what would happen if I couldn't take a ride on the new magnetic train. Calling the authorities to retrieve the part I then headed further North, taking on the Nugget Bridge challenge and visiting Bill's Kantonian house. Here I stumbled upon the gym leader Misty having a date on private property, and her boyfriend, not wanting trouble with the cops who were still with me, fled the scene. Her date ruined Misty returned to the gym and I challenged her.
She called me a pest for interrupting her love life, and I made her water Digimon
eat the ground.
Kanto is weird, y'all.
