Disciplining Children

[Izanagi]

Do you think that spanking children is wrong? If so what disciplinary tactics would you use as a parent? I personally believe that spanking is a neccesary action. Spare the rod, spare the child.

 

[Kauai]

Violence doesn't teach a child to behave, it simply teaches them to fear. Parents should set clear standards, explain to children why they are needed, and then set non-violent punishments on a sliding scale of severity if they misbehave. This way, they aren't doing it because they are in fear of pain, but because they understand it's the right thing to do and behave and will thus apply it to other places in their life without the need for violence.

Yeh...I've been watching too much Oprah.

 

[Yusshin]

Some children only learn by force. I believe certain children can't be disciplined with just words.

Now, anything other than a bare-hand spanking isn't appropriate. You wouldn't take a rod and beat a child for something, or take a ruler and slap the hand.

People need to realize that children can be extremely evil and as malice as adults. Take the movie Sixth Sense. The children terrorized that child and locked him in a dark place by force, and started laughing. It is children who commit these types of actions who deserve a good wack on the ass.

Not the face, though. Just the butt, since you won't harm anything vital by accident - except perhaps, the child's over-inflated ego / pride.

 

[A Pixy]

This is my plan if I have children.

1. Child does something bad.
2. Warn.
3. Child continues.
4. Warn sternly.
5. Child continues.
6. WHACK. (I'm leaving it at whack so it stays vague)

It seems to work with me. o3o

 

[RuRuBell]

I turned out to be a decent person without any physical discipline (my mom didn't believe in it), but I do think it is nessecary for some kids.
There is no parenting technique that will work 100% on all kids, since they're all different.
Some will behave when told not to do something, some will need a scolding, and some need a good whooping. I don't see a problem with it, as long as you don't go overboard (as in, don't make it look like your kid has just lost a fight with a large animal).

 

[Stairmaster]

Depends. If it hurts, it just pisses off the kid and makes them cry. If it doesn't hurt they just laugh at their parents and nothing happens.

So pretty pointless in my opinion. Not necessarily "wrong". Just pointless.

 

[Melody]

I agree, it's wrong to spare the rod in extreme cases where the child just won't behave, but I believe there should be a couple of warnings before the spankings begin.

 

[Artimis]

I belive it is essential part of growing up. With out getting hit you most likley become disobedient. but I guess i would warn my child a few times first. just to be fair

 

[NarutoActor]

Spanking is okay only when you hug them afterwords, and say your doing it because you love them. <3

 

[Yusshin]

I'd just like to add, I don't believe hitting should be first-up. I go with the "three strikes and you're out" system.

Always talk to your child before spanking them. It's when they refuse to behave after two incidents that you spank them the third time.

 

[Kauai]

I realize I'm in the minority on this issue, but I maintain that violence isn't the best way to get a child to behave, nor does it reinforce lasting manners or reinforce things you want the child to learn. Every single study I have ever seen on the subject indicates that positive reinforcement is the better route. I realize anyone can probably find a study saying different, I'm just telling my experience.

With that being said, I don't believe spanking on the bottom or a slight tap to the hand should be illegal, while kids are still young that is. However hitting a child in the face, or leaving marks, IS child abuse and said parent SHOULD seriously be looked at by the relevant officials.

 

[Zet]

Without discipline I'm sure the world would be on fire and we wouldn't have the internet or anything nice, just a big corrupted world and all because some people didn't want to discipline their kids.

But as much as it is bad to hit a woman or a child, it should only be done in rare cases(spanking children that is, not women you awful minded people!).

 

[Kauai]

Without discipline I'm sure the world would be on fire and we wouldn't have the internet or anything nice, just a big corrupted world and all because some people didn't want to discipline their kids.

But as much as it is bad to hit a woman or a child, it should only be done in rare cases(spanking children that is, not women you awful minded people!).

The problem with this is that you assume all discipline must be violent. The idea that people who prefer not to use violence as punishment for children simply let their children misbehave and run wild is not true. Certainly I intend to be nothing of the sort.

 

[Yusshin]

The problem with this is that you assume all discipline must be violent. The idea that people who prefer not to use violence as punishment for children simply let their children misbehave and run wild is not true. Certainly I intend to be nothing of the sort.

It depends on the child, really. I was pretty good at understanding what was bad and what was good as a kid, but parents who let their children tyranize other children freely need a good smack in the butt. To destroy another child's psychology is no small matter. It can seriously screw you up for the rest of your life, especially since the youngest age is the age where what people say cause you the most influence.

Oh, and "They're kids. Teasing is normal" is no excuse to breaking a child's emotional and psychological state.

Most children will understand without violence - 80%, even - but the 20% that are left won't understand the first or second times. They need to be smacked in the buttocks.

 

[Ricky429]

I think its ok and plan to do it to my kids. I was spanked when i was younger and i believe it really helps. But the way i would do it is to give them punishment based on what they did. That being said I wont go willy nilly with it spanking them for something a warning or a scolding could accomplish. I plan to try a different approach but still spank them if they get out of hand mltiple times and tell them what they did wrong so they can understand whats acceptable and whats not.

I get alot of compliments on the way I act from complete strangers all the time. And my friends who weren't spanked as much as me act a whole lot different behavior-wise. On the bad side.

 

[Yusshin]

I got spanked a few times, too, but 95% of the time, words were enough.

Trust me. It sets ya' straight.

 

[Kauai]

I think its ok and plan to do it to my kids. I was spanked when i was younger and i believe it really helps. But the way i would do it is to give them punishment based on what they did. That being said I wont go willy nilly with it spanking them for something a warning or a scolding could accomplish. I plan to try a different approach but still spank them if they get out of hand mltiple times and tell them what they did wrong so they can understand whats acceptable and whats not.

I get alot of compliments on the way I act from complete strangers all the time. And my friends who weren't spanked as much as me act a whole lot different behavior-wise. On the bad side.

Anecdotal evidence really doesn't mean much. I often get told that I'm very polite and mature around adults, and I was never spanked. My Grandmother on the other hand used to slap my Mother and Aunt's around, literally leaving marks on their cheeks, and let's just say that my Aunt isn't known for being the most calm of people.

So please don't make such broad generalizations as that, it isn't very constructive and certainly serves to categorize people into good/bad based on if they agree with your parenting views or not.

On an unrelated note, bringing up my Aunt gives me a good idea for a thread.... :laugh:

 

[Yusshin]

Anecdotal evidence really doesn't mean much. I often get told that I'm very polite and mature around adults, and I was never spanked. My Grandmother on the other hand used to slap my Mother and Aunt's around, literally leaving marks on their cheeks, and let's just say that my Aunt isn't known for being the most calm of people.

So please don't make such broad generalizations as that, it isn't very constructive and certainly serves to categorize people into good/bad based on if they agree with your parenting views or not.

On an unrelated note, bringing up my Aunt gives me a good idea for a thread.... :laugh:

Like I said, it depends completely on the individual. If you're a wild person with a bad temper, spanking is probably the better method. If you're reasonable and understanding, words will work.

In this case, words worked for both you and me (but spankings for me on those odd occasions ~.~)

 

[Hamilton]

well in my experience, it all depends on the child- if my niece is being really bad, we'll "smack her hiney" which is really just a light tap- i'm sure her brother will get the rebellious gene and be a trooper, so we'll have to wait to see- some kids just need to be told- it all depends

 

[Renege]

I've never been spanked, I know what's wrong and what's right. I'm not disobedient. Hopefully my child takes after me!

To be fair, I think I would discuss the matter with my partner to see how we should handle decisions like this. And we would both have to agree on whether to or not.